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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

He actually blocked me

51 replies

Thistooshallpass01 · 01/07/2022 19:10

Hi All I am after some advice and maybe a pat on the back because this is getting all too much!

I was dating “DP” (I would say a situationship) for 9 months, I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks and I told him. He immediately said I needed to have an abortion I thought about it and said no I did not feel like it was the right thing to do and although I don’t want to be a single mother I have to take responsibility of our poor decisions and lack of protection.

his reasons for me to abort:

he has a child already out of wedlock
he wants to start a family with someone else not me
I am ruining his life

After telling him the reasons he wanted to abort is selfish he decided to block me on WhatsApp and social media and wished me the best he also said he will deny our child and I am ruining his reputation.

I am upset, heartbroken and sad that I fell for someone who can be so nasty.

Why do men change?????

OP posts:
Twizbe · 01/07/2022 19:11

I feel I've already seen this, have you posted before?

If he doesn't want a child then you can't make him be a father. You have to decide what you do based on being a single parent

BiscoffSundae · 01/07/2022 19:25

You can’t make someone be involved if it’s an unplanned pregnancy then he has a right to feel how he feels and not want to be involved, just accept you will be a single parent I don’t see how he has changed as the baby wasn’t planned so it’s not like you planned it then he changed his mind?

KissThaRain · 01/07/2022 19:25

No one should make the other person parent if they don’t want to. Hard as it is he’s said he wants nothing to do with you or the baby. Delete all numbers and block on all SM. Then focus on you and your pregnancy.

BiscoffSundae · 01/07/2022 19:25

Twizbe · 01/07/2022 19:11

I feel I've already seen this, have you posted before?

If he doesn't want a child then you can't make him be a father. You have to decide what you do based on being a single parent

Yes I’ve read a few posts identical to this recently

BiscoffSundae · 01/07/2022 19:27

Also from your own words you weren’t even in a relationship

user1471426477 · 01/07/2022 19:29

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limitededitionbarbie · 01/07/2022 19:33

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If the op wants to continue this pregnancy then she will do what millions of women have already done and do her best.

It's easier and harder in sone ways to be a single parent but if she wants to continue her pregnancy she will make it work.

You don't need both parents to create a well balanced individual.

My mum was a single parent as was I for a bit. It's not a black mark against us. Why the fuck should it be that the father didn't step up.

FluffingMarvellous · 01/07/2022 19:34

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Is this for real? If the op genuinely wants the baby, who is to say she shouldn't keep it. Plenty of children grow up perfectly well and loved in single parent families

EthicalNonMahogany · 01/07/2022 19:35

Also he still needs to contribute even if he would rather not be having the baby.

limitededitionbarbie · 01/07/2022 19:36

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I've reported your post I think it's vile if I am honest. And out of date.

Original poster
Thistooshallpass01 · 01/07/2022 19:39

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I grew up in a two parent household my parents are are still married till this day and hate each other with a passion! My dad constantly cheated on my mum and had two kids with other women so your point is very invalid.

OP posts:
cottagegardenflower · 01/07/2022 19:39

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Motherofalittledragon · 01/07/2022 19:41

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What an unpleasant thing to say, and not at all helpful.

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/07/2022 19:41

Well you’ll have to accept his decision won’t you. You can apply for child support when the baby’s born, he can get a DNA test, if he’s employed he’ll probably have to pay up, if he’s self employed he probably won’t. You’ve gone ahead with it on the basis you’re alone, now you have to live with it.

You had unprotected sex with a near stranger so you must have really wanted a baby. Congratulations, I hope things work out for you.

limitededitionbarbie · 01/07/2022 19:42

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In this day and age when people have fwb it's not unheard of.

Contraceptive could have failed.
And it's not 100%.

Who knows.

Maybe she wasn't careful but either way neither was he by the sounds of it so it's not just the op that may or or may not have been responsible.

She will just get on with it like everyone else does and do her best. Like we all are

Mitzymarvel · 01/07/2022 19:42

What a piece of work! You are so much better off without him in your life.

You can be a great mum on your own - but you will need to accept he won’t be involved.

Of course there is the risk of him changing his mind, but he’s shown his true colours now.

You need to find your own support circle among family and friends and focus on doing the right thing for you and the baby.

All the best.

Original poster
Thistooshallpass01 · 01/07/2022 19:43

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People make mistakes and I put my hand up and say this was a result of poor decision making. I don’t need you to insult my character thank you!

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 01/07/2022 19:44

Twizbe · 01/07/2022 19:11

I feel I've already seen this, have you posted before?

If he doesn't want a child then you can't make him be a father. You have to decide what you do based on being a single parent

Fuck that noise. He made himself "be a father" when he got his cock out. He needs to pay maintenance - go through the proper channels and make it happen.

As far as any relationship goes, you've dodged a bullet - he's an arsehole.

Wishenpoof40 · 01/07/2022 19:45

Don't waste a second longer thinking about him. You just need to ensure he's paying maintenance. Do not put him on the birth certificate either.
Please mature a little as well. Single parenting is incredibly tough, I didn't know how tough it was until I became one.

limitededitionbarbie · 01/07/2022 19:46

Wishenpoof40 · 01/07/2022 19:45

Don't waste a second longer thinking about him. You just need to ensure he's paying maintenance. Do not put him on the birth certificate either.
Please mature a little as well. Single parenting is incredibly tough, I didn't know how tough it was until I became one.

Yes about the birth certificate.

limitededitionbarbie · 01/07/2022 19:47

If you add him to the birth certificate he get parental responsibility. If he's having no involvement you don't want him having a say in your choices for your baby when they arrive

ladydimitrescu · 01/07/2022 19:47

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My "father" didn't want me either, told my mother to abort. Thankfully she decided she could cope as a single parent, and I never once felt I needed a father figure around.
There are thousands of children out there with two parents, who could only dream of the life I've had. Two parents don't always equal the best.

Changednamesorry · 01/07/2022 19:48

Wow the OP is getting a battering here. If she wants to keep her baby she absolutely should. The prochoice thing is supposed to be just that ......CHOICE, right? In my opinion an abortion just because the father won't step up and pay is tragic and I applaud the OP for taking the responsibility to do so

For what it's worth, OP my eldest son's father tried to push me to have an abortion too and I refused, giving him the option to back out toatlly should he so wish. He swore he wanted us to stay together and then once my son was 11 months old he backed out, haven't heard from him since nor has he ever paid a cent.

I moved on. I have a lovely boyfriend now who adores my eldest son who is now almost 12, I have another son and am pregnant with a little girl. Don't listen to anyone amoral enough to suggest that you are selfish for not having an abortion of your own wanted child.

I wish you all the best 💟

Iusyje · 01/07/2022 19:48

limitededitionbarbie · 01/07/2022 19:33

If the op wants to continue this pregnancy then she will do what millions of women have already done and do her best.

It's easier and harder in sone ways to be a single parent but if she wants to continue her pregnancy she will make it work.

You don't need both parents to create a well balanced individual.

My mum was a single parent as was I for a bit. It's not a black mark against us. Why the fuck should it be that the father didn't step up.

Show quote history

Barack Obama's mum was a single mum for some time. As long as one parent can give love, child will be fine. Heck, I know orphans who turned out brilliantly. Just bcoz it's hard, doesn't mean it can't be done.

Changednamesorry · 01/07/2022 19:49

Sorry that first paragraph didn't make total sense...I meant that I applaud the OP for taking the responsibility to have her child and raise them.