why is everyone mean to me about buying 1st baby 2nd hand clothes-items rant

[ruva]

I am expecting my 1st baby end of feb, because we bought a house last year finances are tight, after 2 years of fertility investigations was told my only chance to concieve was ivf , i sold my holiday apartment to pay for the treatment only to fall pregnant naturally just before the start of the cycle i have been buying things from charity shops and everyone is disgusted that i am being tight , i feel i can save money on certain items, a friend came over to my house today and she wanted me to bin the little outfits i had bought. How can people judge me on what i can afford for my baby.
I am just sick of them!!!!

What bastards. Just ignore them. I hate all that crap about 'kitting out the nursery', it's just another thing for people to be unpleasantly competitive about. Your baby will be beautiful whatever s/he's wearing and you are bringing a new life into the world, not planning a new accessory.

Most of DD's outfits are second hand, especially when they are babies as they don't wear them out, ignore and spend saved money on something lovely for you.

How appalling. It doesn't matter - none of that matters, I bought quite a bit of DDs stuff second hand and I'm reusing it or passing it on when I'm done with it. Your friend is a snob and ought to learn when to shut her fat mouth.

Also think of the planet and the sweatshop workers you are saving by reusing things.

Like the baby is going to care!

What your baby needs is you.

Thank you flea you are right ,
when i was struggling with fertility issues it was hard trying to raise the money, for investigations and now believe you me i know whats important and designer for me is not.( for now)

I have also come across this - people look down on me for taking in second hand clothes and a second hand swing, bouncy chair, play gym, and other small bits and pieces. But I am saving myself a fortune and will pass them on myself once I have used them.

Your baby doesn't care where the clothes comes from - as long as you feed, burp, and love him/her then what does it matter where the other things come from.

Tell your friend to sod off!

Your baby will only be sick on/have massive poos on the clothes you get anyway, so they won't be in pristine condition for long.
Congratulations on the pregnancy!

You are a sensible woman! I fell for all this 'buy everything new' crap. Waste of money - completely. They grow soooo quickly and they poo and puke over everything anyway. Don't listen to the nay-sayers. You're smart and thrifty.

Ignore them - sounds very sensible. But if you want to shut them up you could say something like 'I'm waiting till the baby arrives and I can see what will suit them before shopping for new stuff'. Now I know that the idea of outfits 'suiting' a new born baby is absurd - but if your friends are so shallow as to despise you for using second-hand clothes then this is what they would expect you to say - iyswim? I don't think you should have to pander to them - but anything for a quiet life eh?

I must admit that I bought new things for my first child (only because I didn't know anyone with a baby who could pass them on!) but when I was expecting dd, I bought second hand. TBH babies are not in the clothes long as they grow so much. Therefore 2nd hand baby clothes are so much more value for money than brand new ones. I had no problem with this and have no problem in selling on clothes that now no longer fit dd.
I think dd was in the newborn sized clothes for 1 month, after then I sold them and used the proceeds to buy the next size up. When clothes has been worn so little it is a shame to send them in a charity bag.
You have nothing to be ashamed of.

God what snobs. Been buying into the "Yummy Designer Mummy" nonsense no doubt. Thank goodness for you sensible Mumsnetters!

Plus the fact that you will probably get gifts of clothes when your baby is born.

Ignore them.

Anyway, think of it as being ethical and recycling

A friend of mine has got a lot of good stuff from Freecycle in preparation for her new baby; she's expecting a boy so has passed on some girls' things to me for my new daughter. I've never used Freecycle myself as when I first tried I found it too confusing and gave up, but if you're more competent than me it might be worth looking at?

Thanks ladies,
i feel better now, people don't realise that i had to leave my job, which now means my dh has to foot the mortgage alone and all bills its not easy.

don't worry about my sister and i are both expecting our first babies, both on tight budgets with no parents to help out and we've both kitted our babies nursery's out with things off Ebay and Freecycle.

My sister has saved hundreds with freecycle, she got her pram, a cot and car seat all though freecycle aswell as baby blankets and few other little bits and pieces. There isn't any shame in it at the end of the day all the bay needs really is love and substance!!! One of my old ladies i look after in the community once told me the baby would care at all if it's bed was in a draw aslong as it was warm, fed and loved!!!!!!

Isnt it interesting how someone will look down on you for buying 2nd hand things but then not buy an eyelid when you accept gifts if 2nd hand bouncers, clothes etc from a friend.

Ignore them all. Baby stuff costs a fortune and most of it is outgrown within 6 months. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Damm really should check post before placing, hope you all get what i mean!!!!!!

I cant beleive the cheek of some people! have they never been given clothes from friends/family members that there children had? im 7 weeks preg now and my friends and faily are throwing old clothes/moses baskets, buggies left right and center. at the end of the day its your baby and you will do whats best. i myself think its a great idea!

How rude are some people? I spent loads on first baby and bought very expensive pram and stacks of clothes. He grew out of so much very quickly and it made me sad to think he had worn some things only once. Plus i got bought lots.

This time, 8 yrs on, i was a lot wiser, spent much less and still had lots bought me and still some stuff hardly used. I dont blame you.

I saved my cot from ds which my sister used and passed back to me for this baby(with new mattresses of course) and i also saved my crib and have reused. They are made of wood so not exactly gonna wear out.Had baby bath off my sister too. Probably the only expense is doing up the room(well it had been 8 yrs since had a baby so only fair!) and buying a cahnging table to save our backs.
Good for you for economising, buy your baby new stuff when he/she is older and doesnt grow out of it within a fortnight!

You poor thing!
God people are so shallow. Your friend should keep her mouth shut - esp considering what you've been through.
If she's so desperate for YOUR baby to be in brand new clothes tell her how much it would cost for a year - that would probably shut her up.
My little one will be dressed s/h courtesy of my BF and my SIL's cast offs. And anything else will come from charity shops/ ebay/ freecycle.
Already got a baby gym, nappy wrappers, nappy bin, cot toy, breast pads, toys, clothes and quilts from freecycle and I won't stop looking!
I bought my BF an outfit for her son when he was born - £15 from M&S. Her son got to wear it once before he grew out of it!
I've bought all my mat clothes in the sales/ ebay and will buy one newborn outfit for my little un to go home in and a teddy - that's it. People seem to forget how sh*t maternity pay is as well, or think you're just on full pay the whole time! Idiots.
Don't feel bad and stick to your guns. No one can tell the difference anyway

my ds is my only child only thing we bought new was a cot and pushchair everything was either handed down to me or charity shop

babies are not in clothes long enough to be spending a huge amount of money and i also gave my stuff to friends who were expecting some people are just to proud

but we were also not financially able to spend to much but my ds looked gorgeous even now we do buy clothes he is 2.7 most is second hand gives us more money to spoil him and ourselves

pay no attention good luck on pregnancy congrats

Makes perfect sense to buy second hand. I bought a brand new pram / buggy system and DD has to be carried everywhere in a sling even now at 16 months because she hates her buggy.

Bought a brand new cot and she hardly used the darned thing and just slept in bed with me as hated being put down.

I could have saved myself a fortune. Can't understand why anyone would criticise another person's choice.

Good luck with the baby

Bunch of tossers, sod the lot of them!
Do whatever the hell you like, and if you do have money to spare, invest it in their future - far more helpful to your lo. (sorry, snobbery is one of my absolute pet hates!)
I could probably afford to buy quite a few things new but I didn't, found bidding for baby things on ebay far more exciting than spending a fortune on new stuff that gets very little use/wear (and then just giving it all away when finished with, because you can't be bothered faffing around selling the things -been there, done that and money down the drain!) Good luck with your lo - hit the highstreet and head for the charity shops!

DD is our first child and the only thing we bought new was the pushchair (only because my parents helped us out).

I have actively made a decision not to buy any new clothes/toys for DD unless I have to. After going to and NCT nearly new say and realising how cheap everything was (plus it's recycling) I can't imagine why you would buy new thigns. They aren't going to care what they wear.

Either stand your ground and tell them to fark off and mind their own business or just don't tell them where you go them from! By the way NCT nearly new sales are great for clothes that have barely been worn and dead cheap.