First time birth stories

[SquigsC]

Hello you lovely lot!

I am currently 33 weeks and time is not slowing down! This is my first baby and therefore, first birth experience, and I would love to hear your stories. I would also love to hear anything you wish you had known prior to your first birth as I am trying to be prepared!

As a head's up, I am doing antenatal classes, hypnobirthing online and I am trying to make myself do birth affirmations (I find this bit harder!).

Many thanks in advance :)

Don't bother with a birth plan, load of rubbish and out the window as soon as it gets going. Labour will take whatever path it takes and a birth plan just sets women up for failure and disappointment.

Congratulations and good luck!
I had my first at home last year. Like you I did some hypnobirthing (couldn't do the affirmations though!) and I also read loads of books on birth.
I would recommend reading about the third trimester and if you want to breastfeed, read lots about that as well.
Can you tell I love read around stuff as much as poss 😂 worked for me and I felt well prepared for whatever might have happened. Luckily for me it all worked out as I'd hoped.

following my first birth I would have said make sure you go in if you’re not coping with pains at home. I was told not to go in untIl my contractions were ten minutes apart. This never happened because my contractions went very quickly to back to back and I couldn’t tell when one ended and one began. Very scary fast and furious labour.
my second one was an induction because of reduced movements. After that I would say don’t let anyone near you with a pitocin drip unless you’ve got an epidural in. Also practice a code with your partner, like two squeezes of the hand means you want pain relief. I couldn’t speak through my contractions so never got anything either time. Also get them to learn the names of pain relief options because my partner asked for ‘something’ for me and the midwife came over with two paracetamol.

The fourth trimester!
It's so easy with your first to be so focused on the labour but to be fair that will be done a d dusted hopefully in around 24 hours. Its what comes afterwards that we're never prepared for!
Look up things like baby wake windows, batch cook like a pro, have a plan for when you will allow family/friends around and buy a big box of biscuits for them, buy loads of Boots maternity pads (they're the best!)

Most of the time, you get little say in how the baby decides to enter the world, but as others have said, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself or as your partner to because they do try and fob you off a lot with your first. I went in when my contractions were about 4-5 minutes apart and the midwife ....booked me in for an induction the next morning?!?! I had 4 contractions on the way back to the car and ended up going back inside and had my baby 6 hours later. If that happened now, we would laugh at her and insist on a less stupid course of action! Make sure your partner is prepped to stand up for you and can be assertive if needed. Don't need to be rude or anything but if something doesn't feel right, insist on a second opinion etc!

This. Definitely with your first, you have no idea how you will cope with the pain. Go in with an open mind, don't have your heart set on a certain type of birth.

Will be following this thread, I'm a couple of months behind you OP, but feeling totally out of my depth right now! Any anecdotes and advice appreciated by me too!

Go in with an open mind, you have NOT failed if your birth doesn't go according to plan.

If your midwife insists you write things down in a birth plan (mine did) go for open phrases such as "pain relief as requested". Leave the decisions with you on the day.

Read up on what happens when things go bad. Ie, know how many people it's normal to have at an emergency C-section so it doesn't scare you (several "scarier" ones are there just in case).

Personal one for me was high forceps. The UK still uses those, but they have been banned in most other European countries for the better part of two decades. Read up and make your own decision, but it was about the only specific thing in my birth plan.

As others have said be open minded. Also not all first births take a long time, I was induced but once they broke my waters my daughter was born 2 hours later.
Look into manual placenta removal, one of those things that only a few people get but I did and it was torture and I knew nothing about it.

It's tough but it's worth it my second is due is September.

Wow! Apart from the fact that I wasn't induced, my first labour was the same as yours. Second one was two hours too with no retained placenta thank goodness. Third was completely different as baby was back to back. Two days of labour with five hours of agony with a midwife who only gave me gas and air.

@Summerwetordry oh this gives me hope of no retained placenta this time... Id kind of resigned myself to the fact it's gonna happen!

It’s not the most pleasant thing in the world but my first was amazing.
11 hours start to finish and no pain relief. Stayed at home until I felt it was time to go in and baby was born just over 2 hours after getting to hospital with a 20 min pushing stage. There’s no medals however so take what you feel you need.
Currently pregnant with my 2nd so hoping for that again!!
Just go with the flow in labour and see where it takes you. I went into a weird zone of concentrating and breathing where I wouldn’t speak to anyone! Take plenty of water with a sports cap to keep you hydrated.

Also, prepare yourself for after which I found much tougher. The first time you try and toilet after birth was very scary for me!! Try and think about what support you want from your partner after birth to make sure you have a good recovery and rest time.

Wishing you all the best

Congratulations OP!
I agree with other posters about having an open mind re. birth and birth planning. Absolutely have one in place, but be aware that it might not go as smoothly as expected.
I had my first baby girl in November 2021 (9 days late). We had a home birth plan as hubby doesn't drive and our midwife was part of the home birthing team anyway. Unfortunately, I went into labour during a storm and midwives weren't allowed to travel for safety. Our boiler also gave out on us, so, after 2 days of contractions (without pain relief - except squeezing hubby's hand with each contraction), my SIL drove us to the maternity unit (via a diversion as the main road was closed thanks to the storm) and our baby girl was born about 3 and a half hours later. We were nearly transferred to hospital as DD decided to poo while still inside me, but she was coming so fast, she ended up being born in the maternity unit (thankfully!)
When we got to the unit, I got gas and air, which REALLY helped me through contractions (I know some people have said it makes them feel sick but it was the best thing ever for me). I'd hoped to get in the birthing pool at the unit, but they wanted to keep monitoring me as I couldn't really feel baby kicking etc so I had to stay on dry ground (not going to lie, was gutted at that!)
Not everything went to plan, however, we were both really happy with how things went. We had a peaceful night in the unit (as she was born at 9.55pm, we both stayed overnight) then went home the next evening.

Be aware for the aftermath though! There will be blood (this is normal though), there might be stitches (again, normal), there will be pain when sitting, standing, lying down etc...use painkillers!!! It seems so strange to think this is normal, but it is! Would totally go through it again though as it's an amazing story to tell and such an exciting time!

Biggest peace of advise is write a plan of things you'd like, but try to be open minded.
My first birth was a disaster, EVERYTHING went wrong and I really struggled afterwards that I'd 'failed' because I didn't get the 'perfect' birth I wanted and swore I'd never have anymore .... But my 2nd was a lovely water birth, 2hours from 2cm to baby in my arms and I'm pregnant with my 3rd so they really must be worth it!

I've discovered the naked doula on insta this time and I love her down to earth posts and her explanations of what is happening and why, I have her mantra 'floppy face, floppy fanny' in my head constantly 😂

Stay active in labour.

Don't bother with a birth plan.

Expect the unexpected.

After birth you'll probably not poo for a few days. Do everything humanly possible in advance to make sure this is not a bad experience. Melon. Melon. Melon. Or movicol. WATER.

I wish someone had told me that the pushing out the placenta bit isn't necessarily a breeze! With my first birth I pushed ds out in just under half an hour yet the placenta took 45 mins of real work even with the injection toward the end! I remember feeling bewildered and kept shouting 'harder than baby!' over and over. Not trying to scare you, just warn you! I do seem to be in the minority in my experience though so don't worry about it too much. I just wish I'd been mentally prepared for the bit that comes after the baby.

Definitely go in with no expectations with following your birth plan!! I had been doing hypnobirthing in the lead up to the birth, I wanted a low-intervention pool birth .. turned out to be a Cat1 EMCS in the end. I was so focused on the low intervention part that I was SOOO determined to do, I don't think I was mentally prepared for the possibilities of everything changing and becoming full intervention / surgery! I definitely think that took me longer to recover mentally because of that, whereas I think if I went in with an open mind, I would have been much more prepared and relaxed and would have had an easier mental recovery xx

Don't have a strict plan, and be ok with the fact that some things may be out of your control. Even if things don't end up as you imagined, you'll be looked after.

I did the positive birth online course and it prepared me very well. I laboured at home with tens machine and stayed as long as possible. Got to hospital and baby was born less than two hours after arriving at triage, amazing water birth.

I had a very positive first birth. Waters broke very suddenly and I had my baby in my arms just 4 hours later. 8 days early! I ignored my contractions for so long as I kept thinking 'they'll get worse than this' they never did so I was very much in labour while I was still at home! Barely got through the hospital doors when my body started having the urge to push.. nobody had even been to see me yet! Next time I've been told I must get a move on as it'll be even quicker😄 I was soo nervous about the pain beforehand and even did a hypnobirthing course to try to ease my anxiety. I found it so easy, I only needed gas and air. Our bodies are amazing. Appreciate not everyone has such a time, especially first time, so I hope this eases you or anyone else's mind that it isn't always horrible.

Stay as calm as you can and keep breathing/humming and moving. You'll get through it, once it feels like you can't do any more you are close to the end x

I'm still pregnant but I politely disagree with the notion that birth plans are completely pointless. I'm under the care of a Consultant Obstetrician and she has asked me to consider my preferences for birth. Maybe I'm just very lucky that she is interested in listening to me and this isn't standard? For example I don't want to be induced and would prefer cesarean, so we will make a plan for this.

I read Milli Hill's Positive Birth Book recently and it has been really helpful in laying out possible courses of action / interventions.

@CurbsideProphet I think seeing as people are writing their personal experiences from birth and you have yet to give birth you can't really answer the OPs post.

Don't get me wrong I will be writing a birth preferences sheet this time once again, but I can confirm it was a waste of time last time.

I would 100% agree with this. I skipped the c section parts of any pregnancy books I read (daft, I know) as I was adamant I was going to get my low intervention birth.

In the end I was 40+12, went for a growth scan due to static growth. I wasn’t let out of hospital due to my blood pressure being high.

I was induced that night, ended up with an EMCS two days later. I was SO unprepared. Didn’t pack enough clothes for me or baby, had no idea about recovery.

If you do have books you’re reading, don’t skip the c section bit just in case!

@CurbsideProphet coming from someone who has also given birth, birth plans in my opinion are also a bit pointless but I wasn't particularly excited about one before things went downhill. It's good to have some breathing techniques and music but not much else you can plan for really. Saying that I'd definitely opt for a c section again a second time, but that can't be guaranteed if you go into a sudden quick labour.