First time birth stories

[SquigsC]

Hello you lovely lot!

I am currently 33 weeks and time is not slowing down! This is my first baby and therefore, first birth experience, and I would love to hear your stories. I would also love to hear anything you wish you had known prior to your first birth as I am trying to be prepared!

As a head's up, I am doing antenatal classes, hypnobirthing online and I am trying to make myself do birth affirmations (I find this bit harder!).

Many thanks in advance :)

@CurbsideProphet I think that this is not that common in all honesty, particularly when you're a first time mum. In labour, lost of midwives and doctors assume you don't have a clue what you're talking about or feeling.

My experience was that my birth plan never left my bag. I couldn't have given two shits about the hypnobirthing I'd dedicated the previous 16 weeks to and when I begged (and begged and pleaded) for a c-section having been told my baby was in a dangerous position after many hours of labour, I was refused, only to then go on to have a cat 1 emergency section, when it could have been cat 2 had I been listened to.

My first labour was tough but a really special and positive experience. Second time round it was all over too quickly to pay much attention!

My tips:
Buy the following and have them ready to go: six packs (at least) of maternity pads, frozen perineum packs (buy on Amazon), Spritz for Bits, Weleda nipple balm if you're planning to BF, big stocks of ibuprofen and paracetamol, a piles cushion with a hole in the middle. All of these things will make your first few days infinitely more comfortable.
Take your own pillow to the hospital for familiarity and comfort
Buy a thermal mug so that your tea or coffee stays hot for hours
Enjoy it! Sounds perverse but it can be a hugely positive and powerful experience. I'm grateful I got to experience it.

Oh I'm embarrassed now that I replied 😳 just shows how varied maternity care is across the country (not that this is a good thing). All the best OP 💐

I wanted a midwife led water birth and instead I won a consultant led ventrouse delivery as my little one decided she wanted to come out playing peek a boo with her arms over her face. I was determined I'd be super mobile and would not be giving birth on my back.... that was the only position her heart rate would remain stable in so my biggest advice have a plan A, plan B and plan C, know what you definitely don't want - for me it was an episiotomy I wanted to tear naturally (and I did) and know that whatever plan you approach the birth with you need to be flexible!

That being said even though my labour didn't go at all to plan I'm still planning another pregnancy soon, gas and air is bloody amazing and I hope you have the birth experience you want.

Yeah, babies don’t read birth plans

most of them never leave a well packed maternity bag 😁

I'm glad you have made this post because I'm also 33 weeks and I feel like I don't know anything! My hospital don't do ante natal classes anymore so I've been trying to learn everything from the internet and books. It's good to hear other peoples experiences.

Pack bags of sweets or chocolate to snack on - haribo, maltesers, etc.

I was told to eat light snacks throughout labour so I packed cereal bars in my hospital bag. 22 hours of contractions and I had no interest in cereal bars! I just needed something bitesize with lots of sugar.

My other peice of advice- slow, deep breaths. I breathed all the way through my labour. The best thing that my husband did to help was reminding me to take deep breaths. I did the whole thing without pain relief and didn't have any tears or problems. I was out walking a few days later!

Lastly, if it all becomes too much, remind yourself that each contraction is a contraction closer to meeting your baby.

Best of luck

I had my first baby a few months ago.

Birth plans never go to plan. Just know if there is something you absolutely do not want. Mine was forceps I definitely didn't want that.
I ended up labouring very quickly after a successful sweep. Baby was back to back and contractions were awful... I asked for epidural and this was the best decision I made.
Baby ended up trying to come at an awkward angle and ended up with an emergency section.

I personally thought hypnobirthing was a load of rubbish but I know others it worked for.

Take an extension cord with you in your hospital bag as if you need to charge your phone the cord won't reach.

Buy in arnica tablets I swore by these and honestly think it's why I recovered so well.

Oh and the section BTW was a dream. I felt so well taken care of during labour, during surgery and afterwards.
I got skin to skin right away with my baby.
The midwives after were amazing.

Hope for the best plan for the worst.

Gave birth 5 months ago to my first baby so it’s still pretty fresh! I wish wish wish I could go back to myself last year and tell her to stop focusing on the birth. I read every positive birth book there was, did hypnobirthing, antenatal yoga, NCT, fully believed I would breath the baby out, had “gas and air if needed” on my birth plan (Lol) and in the end: 40+12 overdue, 3 sweeps, induced, hormone drip, four failed epidurals, episiotomy, forceps. I don’t say any of that to scare you, I literally have zero bad feeling about my birth. It was what it was, it was completely out of my control and it was over in a FLASH.

The reality is you are going to have a baba in your arms before you know it and that newborn phase is no joke. If I had my time again I would put aside the birth research and focus on the realities of raising a newborn. There was so much I was absolutely clueless on and it was such a shock. I would read up on awake windows, the 5 s’s to help a baby to sleep, how to avoid over tiredness and over stimulation, cluster feeding, sling wearing, tongue tie. I would freeze so.many.meals. Like 4 weeks worth 😅 I would lie in, I would have long baths, I would cuddle my partner in bed at night, I would blow dry my hair and do my makeup, I would sit and read a book. Relish it. Life is about to get busier, harder and absolutely magic x

Good luck @CurbsideProphet I hope you get to use your plan it's not that care is different if they don't listen necessarily, things can just change very rapidly so you can't always plan for that.

What a wonderful thread - thank you everybody for sharing your stories. It seems the general consensus is to have a general knowledge of what you want from birth but not to rely too heavily on it. My partner is not afraid of stepping on toes so I know he will do his best to ensure that I am listened to, which is very reassuring. I am also going to grab a book that tells me about what to expect post-birth.

@Jun345 your story has really resonated with me too! I am trying to do as much as I can (I am even panicking that I should do arm exercises as they are too weak) when actually I will try to make the most of relaxing now.

@SquigsC definitely do the positive birth course and get yourself a maternity tens. I wouldn’t have coped with contracting at home for so long without it and I feel like that helped me have a smooth birth, going into hospital too early is proven to slow things down - white coat effect.

@Summerwetordry @20viona
Me too retained placenta and 1hr45 of manual removal ! Before being taken to theatre
Knew sod all what this meant
Awful
Prepped this time!
X

It was the doctor's huge hand inside my uterus which was pretty horrible, pulling out bits as well as the placenta! So glad with my next two births it didn't happen.

@Summerwetordry oh yes I had that, no pain relief - was horrific
So glad it didn't happen for you again
Gives me hope x

I would very much go with babies have their own plan!
I was having a planned c-section for mental health reasons- booked for 39 +5. However at 37 weeks out of no where my blood pressure suddenly spiked to what a midwife described as 'scary high!' I was admitted that evening to the high dependency maternity area, they got my blood pressure down eventually (3 tablets later) and said they would do the c-section in the morning as they were concerned about keeping it down and I also had some concerns with blood sugar readings (I had gestational diabetes). Sent my partner home (30mins away) about 10pm then 1am I had bleed- not massive but enough that all things combined the consultant was very concerned and called a catergory 1 emergency section and I was rushed to theatre. Thankfully once in there it was downgraded to a cat 2 which meant I avoided a general anaesthetic however they were concerned enough not to wait for my partner who was already on his way, he was taken to theatre when he arrived and handed a baby!
Baby obviously decided she was coming that night no matter what the drs thought! 😂
Sounds awful but in reality it was a great experience, scary yes but the staff were brilliant and I would far prefer they proactively acted than waited and the situation could have been far worse as had happened to a colleague of mine at the same hospital.
I found the recovery remarkably easy and my advice is to take all painkillers offered religiously at the beginning- I was then off all pain killers in 2 weeks and moving pretty normally.

@SquigsC good luck, I know that the first one is a nervewracking experience!

The week of birth, things felt "weird", in a way of I felt run down, craved oranges (first time all pregnancy), had lost my mucus plug 3 weeks before this point, but was noticing more discharge again. The day of labour I saw a pink tinge to the CM so I knew something was coming. That afternoon around 3pm I did some squats and lunges, my water broke. Nothing like in the films, it basically felt like I was peeing myself, slowly and uncontrollably. it wasn't a 2 seconds and done, it was on and off for probably 1-2 hours. I had a lot of clothes to wash! I put the dog in boarding knowing what was likely coming, took a shower, cleaned the house, made some dinner etc. If I was having contractions, they were so light that they were very mild cramps and weren't registering. I tried to rest at home from 9-11pm but was wired and couldn't sleep. From 11pm-2am things were finally picking up and getting sore, so we got stuff together, and got to the hospital at 2.30am. I tried to time contractions, and completely failed. There was no real pattern to mine. The night nurse checked us in, checked the protein was waters breaking (it was), I was 1-2cm dilated, so we all assumed in for a long night and asked if I wanted pain relief which I was adomently against when doing my plan, but by this point I was like yes, i'd like all the drugs, and she went away to find them in no rush. After an hour I couldn't stand or sit, or move, and it was incredibly painful. The nurse hadn't got back so I asked my DH to go get her to check as I felt very panicked by this point. She came back and asked me to stop pushing (which I couldn't), and said that they baby was +5 which basically means I had gone the whole way past the 10cm dilated and the baby was half way down the birth canal. Cue 10 people suddenly in the room, a lot of activity, doctors and nurses, and shortly after baby was out by 4.30am (12 hours more or less from waters breaking). I had a very minor tear, which was stiched up. The weirder thing that no one talks about really is birthing the placenta, which is huge, and follows after the baby. It was like an adult sized heart or a liver plopped out, I wasn't prepared for that. Also the doctor massaged out some blood clots to prevent infections, and that hurt a lot.

Things I learned were:

• birth plans make us feel prepared in a situation we have very little control over, so feel free to make one, knowing full well it will not be used most likely.


• If something feels wrong, keep speaking up. Don't wait until it is too late.


• There is no shame in being medicated through labour. I wish I had been!


• Whether you have a vaginal or c section, you are still "birthing" a child. The important thing is for both of you to be safe.


• Don't try to make like the films and scream through labour, that tenses up muscles and keeps the baby in. Our birth class suggested mooing like a cow (hilarous), but is right to use some low register yoga ohm, breathing, or something that will relax your muscles to let the child pass through the canal.


• When packing a bag, try to put some lucozade/energy drinks and snacks you would have eaten when nauseated in the first trimester in (rich tea biscuits for me). If your labour goes long these will be the most useful to you.


• When you feel like truly giving up, that means you are in the final transition stage, and is a really good thing. When you get there, you will know it. It really does mean that you are 99% done, and all the nurses get excited to see you defeated!


• I changed into my contact lenses during labour at the hospital, as I was very uncomfortable having anything on my face and didn't like not being in control of being able to see properly.


• I had a massive migraine about 5 minutes after delivery, and the post labour contractions to pull things back up were almost as painful as labour itself. Pack some paracetamol/ibuprofen so that you don't have to wait for the nurses when you need it.

Good luck to you, and to all the mums to be x

Don’t feel embarrassed! My birth plan was followed exactly. However, it wasn’t full of specific I’m going to play this music and have a water birth with fairy lights etc. It was very open but full of my wishes.

Contrary to everyone else, I’d recommend it. I was under consultant care and it had what I would like in certain situations so they didn’t have to ask. For example the plan if my waters burst (which we really didn’t want to happen in my case), the list of medications which were safe for me to take (complex allergies), the injections I wanted me/baby to have, my partner to tell me the sex, and things I currently enjoyed and might like. I also had that I appreciated their knowledge and would trust them - this included what to do in a c section as due to my allergies was a huge risk.

Turned out I woke up one morning my waters burst (like in the movies), rushed into hospital, everyone knew who to contact and what drugs I could take (pain relief and those related to my condition). Offered things I thought I might like, e.g birthing ball, water birth (which was no longer an option) etc. I took the ones I fancied at the time, and gave birth a few hours later where partner told me we had DD. All injections prepared and they all checked I was still happy to follow my birthing plan. Although it could of been stressful it really wasn’t and I really had a pleasant experience.

I didn’t prepare for after the birth, just cuddled DD and other half sorted everything else!

my tip would be you know you better than anyone. You know how you manage pain, you know if you like to be on the move, in the bath or massaged so go with what you think and feel. you know if you need to prepare of if you need to approach things as they arise. Everything can change but no one knows you better than yourself.

honestly don’t worry about achieving or having everything people say. You’ve got this, enjoy every moment.

First baby, retained placenta, manual removal. Have had two other babies and no retained placenta.

OP, retained placenta is not the norm and manual removal is rare. By all means, read up on it and how you'd like to have it managed if it happens to you, but don't expect it. Don't even expect it if you had it before in a pregnancy and are having another baby. Be aware it could happen, but chances are extremely high it will not

I had induction with forceps. What I wish I had known about birth and aftercare:

1. If you have forceps or ventouse you will need an episiotomy.

1. Your waters done just break and then stop, you are gushing for quite a long time and the pads they give you in hospital are pathetic and barely adequate for a period so take your own massive nappy style maternity pads for when your waters break as well as postpartum bleeding.

1. Do not attempt heavy lifting in the weeks following birth as you are at risk of prolapse (google it). It's not just people being delicate over you there's a psychical reason why you should relax/take it easy that NCT never taught me.

1. That the majority of births I know of didn't always go to plan but that's not a bad thing. Half my NCT group had c-sections and the other half had induction and forceps. I thought we would all give birth in a birthing pool with music and gas and air. It doesn't mean we were weak or disadvantaged it's just...different than planned.

1. After your birth if you are not happy with how things went you can ask for a copy of your medical notes and a birth reflection consultation where they will go through your birth timeline step by step. This will help you understand your birth and the actions that were taken.

1. If you have a vaginal birth peri bottles are your friend. Post-birth it will sting like a motherfucker down there. The peri bottle helps by soothing down there as you pee. If you have stitches you cannot wipe down there so again squirting the peri bottle will help you.

1. If you have the hormone drip induction I strongly recommend the epidural as contractions are intense.

8.Whatever birth experience you have just remember that this is one of the most magical moments in your life and there's no other high like it when that baby is placed in your arms. What I'd give for that rush of love feeling as soon as I gave birth.

Best of luck!

Just to add something to what @madeleine85 said regarding packing drugs like paracetamol. The midwives told me that they didn't want me taking my own medication as they had no way to track how much of what and when I had taken it. They prefer that you take the drugs they give you so they can control the amount and make sure you don't overdose. So I would suggest NOT taking your drugs into hospital like I did as it's for your safety. They regularly gave me any pain killers I needed.

Hello. First DS was a Waterbury’s. Almost gave birth at home. Was pushing when I got to the hospital. Born 2 hours after arriving. Only G&A was amazing. But painful back to back Labour.

my tip is if you have had stitches try to get up & shower before numbing wears off so you can shower pain free. If you have stitches that sting when you go to the toilet drink a lot of water to dilute pee. Sorry, but important info 😂

@AWobABobBob you are right to say that! I got my paracetamol from the hospital last time for the migraine, they didn't offer anything for the post labour contractions, and I didn't ask (my own fault) so I just suffered through it, which was unpleasant. Good point though. My hospital did however keep giving me stool softner pills and I have heard of people buying their own to have at home post hospital, apparently the poop situation for the days/weeks after can be odd, so might be worth thinking about for the OP/others.

Just on point 8 here... That fabled rush of love doesn't happen to everyone. Estimates vary, but some websites I've seen suggest around one third of women don't get it. This does not mean anything except that these women have lower levels of oxytocin. If this is you, don't worry that there's something wrong with you! You will fall in love with your wee one slowly over the days and months 😊