How easy is it to tell the sex yourself at 20wks? Hospital won't tell me!

[BorgLady]

I've got my 20wk scan on 27th February, and both DP and I would really love to know the sex. Unfortunately, my hospital has a policy of not telling you and send out a letter asking you not to ask.

In any case, I wouldn't dare, as the sonographer was very moody at my 12wk scan and wasn't the sort of bloke to be moved by my pleas, I'm sure.

So, I'd like to know if anyone has been able to tell themselves. I presume it's easier to tell if it's a boy? Any information/tactics would be most appreciated!

how strange; surely that's your decision to make not theirs?

dd1 was born in a hospital that wont tell you
its because some people abort if its the wrong sex

Unless they scan over the important parts for a length of time it will be very hard to tell.

I think it is quite hard, because you could mistake umbilical cord for a boy. I was shown we were having a boy looking between his legs and it was pointed out, but don't know if I could have seen myself. But maybe you will be lucky and see yourself. You could always go for a private sexing scan?Good luck

God, really? How awful....not at 20weeks though presumably....

The best time to look is when they measure the length of the femurs, as they get the baby to basically "moon" the probe. You look between the legs and two lines are the labia, two circles are the testicles.
It's not always easy though, sometimes even the professionals can't tell/get it wrong (which I think is one reason why they don't tell).

I could tell this time (a girl) but only when the sonographer actually zeroed in on the relevant area to show us. With DS, even though it was apparently really obvious (both sonographers only had to look for a tiny fraction of a second to pronounce "definitely a boy"), I couldn't tell . I think your chances of working it out for yourself if they aren't even planning to look are very slim.

If you are prepared to pay, you could get a private gender scan.

I doubt you'll be able to tell tbh....we had two boys and couldn't tell.

On the motivation to keep it secret....it makes me sad to think of all these little baby girls who are being born but are unwanted.

Go get a scan done privately. They'll tell you if you pay them. Its not very expensive

Just wanted to say it might not be the same sonographer btw. In fact my 12 week scan was on a different floor of the hospital to my 20 week scan. The one who did my 12 week scan wasn't at all pleasant but the one who did my 20 week scan was lovely.

Our hospital would have told us (although they have disclaimers saying they might be wrong) but dd was in the wrong position so they couldn't see, I even went out, jumped about a bit and came back in and they still couldn't tell! We would've liked to know, but it didn't matter, when dd was born I was far more concerened about her being ok and the relief that she was born, I didn't even look to see 'what' she was for the first few minutes, just wanted to hold her close!

Impossible!! I had my 20 weeks scan last week and, this time, wanted to have a peek to see if I could see (dp doesn't want to know and so I am happy to wait and see). But, I couldn't see a thing!! They point out the lungs, liver, kidney, femur, etc, and she could have been showing me anything. I definitely couldn't see nether regions and try to make a guess.
I would say it is very difficult but good luck!

failing the scan route there is another way, its quite expensive and a private scan would prob be cheaper but if you go to
www.tellmepinkorblue.com
k or Blue® is based on the latest gender testing technology. The test is based on analysis of fetal DNA from the mother?s blood.

In a natural process, fetal cells die and pass into the mother?s bloodstream. As these cells break down, fetal DNA is released into the mother?s own circulatory system. Pink or Blue® can detect the baby?s DNA as early as 7 weeks into a pregnancy which is approximately 10 weeks from your last menstrual period. Pink or Blue® have developed a process to determine the baby?s sex based on analysis of the fetal DNA in the mother's bloodstream. and so on its £90!!!

We only get one scan up here at 16 weeks and because I had one at 13 weeks thats my lot so we are paying for a private anomoly scan at 22 weeks and will ask for the sex then. A private scan just for gender will cost £75-90.

I think hospitals should tell you the sex if you want to know, you should sign a disclaimer stating that you know it's not 100% and that mistakes are made and that you will not sue the hospital if you decroate your nursery blue and the baby is a pink one etc.

It annoys me that in one hospital they will tell you and in another 20 miles away they won't.

I had an extra-fancy 20-week anomaly scan in the hospital's world-renowned fetal medicine unit because there was a theoretical risk of some kind of brain inflammation.

The doctor (and it was a consultant, not a radiographer) gave me a guided tour of all the organs: "and here are the labia, and those are the ovaries".

Imagine my surprise when ds popped out 20 weeks later.

My hospital have a policy of not telling you the sex, and they deliberately position the screen so that you can't look at it and try and guess (just turning it round to show you occasionally - 'here's the spine', 'here are the feet' etc).

I paid for a sexing scan a couple of days later (£100 I think) and the male bits were very obvious indeed.

Kezza - I know several people online (Americans as it's been out longer over there) who have had incorrect results from tellmepinkorblue (got refunds and everything).

I believe, in fact, that the company distributing the tests in the UK is pulling out because they don't consider that the reliability is good enough.

I scanned myself at work (NHS bonus ) with one of my colleagues as an assistant at about 19 weeks. Neither of us are sonographers but we were both pretty confident that we couldn't see any boys bits.

Sonographer at 20week scan agreed and dd was born 12 weeks later.

I think the tellmepinkorblue thing has been in the papers saying it's a scam. They offer refunds if they get it wrong to encourage people to get it done, knowing they'll be right and get to keep the money 50% of the time.

On your original question I think it would be really difficult to tell yourself at the scan.

DD3 was head down at 20 weeks with her legs crossed infront of her so when they scanned her genital area it was very clear she was a girl.

The hospital I gave birth to DD's in wouldn't tell you the sex. I was told it was because of a high number of abortions should the baby be a girl

The hospital in our new area will tell at the 20 wk scan and DH & I can' decide if we want to know

I couldn't tell with dd but htis time round there was no doubt about it being a boy (well I'm due in 6 weeks so could be wrong). I burst out laughing when I saw and dh spotted it at the same time then the sonographer confirmed for us so I'm hoping we were right.

ds was lying with his legs open and his arms behindd his head - all he needed was a can of lager and a widescreen showing the football in front of him to complete the picture Dd was very awkward - they couldn't even see the right organs becvause of how she was lying so I was sent to eat a Mars bar, have a coffee and do some start jumps to wake her up and make her move. They still couldn't tell what she was for sure, but luckily I had volunteered to go back 3 weeks later to take part in some sort of project looking at the depth of your cervix - trying to predict premature babies. That time we could see.