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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

health visitor coming round at 24 weeks pregnant?

61 replies

mimifv · 07/06/2022 20:48

I’m 23 weeks pregnant and got a phone call today from the health visitor, she’s coming next week which I’m surprised at as I’ll only be 24 weeks? is this normal, am I overreacting for worrying abit. I’m a FTM so I’m not sure if this is normal or not,
What does the health visitor do at the first appointment? will she want to look round? will she be intrusive?
Thank you!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Jaaxe · 07/06/2022 20:58

I’ve never had a health visitor come round before baby is born to be honest, it’s rare they come round much after too 😂 there isn’t enough of them. I have heard in some areas they come round when pregnant though. They definitely won’t be snooping around so don’t worry about that, they’ll just sit in your front room with u and ask u all the stuff on their list….usually they ask how your feeling mentally to check for post natal depression, tell u about safe sleep for the baby, feeding the baby, what they can help you with if you need it, signposting to different places etc x

Cas112 · 07/06/2022 21:00

This is odd, I'm 27 weeks and not had a health visitor round. Thought it was just once baby was born

Merriwicks · 07/06/2022 21:04

My health visitor in Devon came about 35 weeks to introduce herself

VioletHills · 07/06/2022 21:06

That is very early. Normally pop round in the third trimester and after the babies just born in my area. I refused their services after my first didn't find them helpful tbh.

worriedaboutmoney2022 · 07/06/2022 21:07

I had one visit at about 32/33 weeks with my first, then when I got out of hospital I got a visit from midwives 3-4 times in the first week and then nothing until 6 weeks then 3 months etc

But with my second I got nothing!!! They were in the process of moving over from being NHS to local council employees so there was strikes and uproar which affected the service

My experience was they just were there to check for any major issues and my friend who had a baby who wouldn't latch or take the bottle found the support amazing

It's a bit of a postcode lottery as to what people get but also I know if there's been issues with either parent as in their parents (the grandparents) being known to social services, or older siblings where there has been SS involvement for whatever reason, they provide more support too

My health visitor was absolutely lovely tho I wouldn't be stressed I'd forgotten she was coming and had stuff washing everywhere she didn't batter an eyelid!

JLQ1020 · 07/06/2022 21:08

My HV apologised to me when she visited after the baby was born as she said I should have had a visit before hand to ensure I had everything ready and so I knew who she was and hopefully reassure me.
I moved house during my pregnancy which is why I was missed.
Different areas maybe?

Original poster

mimifv · 07/06/2022 21:09

I want to refuse but I’m scared social services will be called? how did you refuse without it being a concern

OP posts:

PandaOrLion · 07/06/2022 21:09

My midwife said they usually come here around 25-30 weeks to introduce themselves. I imagine lots of people are on holiday soon so they’re trying to her some in early.

PandaOrLion · 07/06/2022 21:10

mimifv · 07/06/2022 21:09

I want to refuse but I’m scared social services will be called? how did you refuse without it being a concern

Why refuse?

Original poster

mimifv · 07/06/2022 21:14

fear of authority figures from childhood trauma and having a bad history with family help etc.
I know it’s not related at all but it has made me extremely anxious and hate people
being intrusive/nosey ( which I know they aren’t it’s their job )
I do want the advice but would rather it be my own choice not forced on me

OP posts:

yikesanotherbooboo · 07/06/2022 21:15

Why do you want to refuse? They are wanting to meet you to build a relationship before your baby is born.it's a purely positive situation.

popcorndiva · 07/06/2022 21:19

With my 1st they came in the third trimester. They just ask about your support system in place, whether the dad will be on hand after birth. Any mental health issues and what to look out for.

Then left lots of leaflets with support services. Mine were both lovely (different one for 2nd) amd with my 1st helped me get a referral for my 2 year old quickly

Original poster

mimifv · 07/06/2022 21:19

I’m really private and just feel like it’s scary having someone coming into my home and judging etc. I’m just abit scared about them being too intense and taking things to far

OP posts:

Clairejay34 · 07/06/2022 21:20

They will absolutely not wander around your house to judge it or anything like that. My health visitor was only ever in my living room. They are not their to try and catch you out with something, it is just to introduce themselves and make sure you are aware of all the services/support that you may or may not need. Please do not worry about this, there is absolutely nothing to worry about.

Bettethebuilder · 07/06/2022 21:22

I never had a health visitor come round until after the baby was born. She just came that once.

RidingMyBike · 07/06/2022 21:22

I saw mine twice at about two weeks and then six weeks and then never again! Why do they need to see you during pregnancy?!

thatdarncat · 07/06/2022 21:24

Please don’t be suspicious of them. The antenatal contact is a visit that should be done, but due to staffing and covid a lot of areas aren’t doing them.
The aim of the visit is to raise awareness of the health visitor role, make introductions and build a relationships early. This can be very helpful for first time mothers.
It is of course your choice, but they are not there to be intrusive.
Wishing you well OP.

Normando91 · 07/06/2022 21:26

My first contact with HV was about 32 weeks and by telephone due to Covid. However, when she did come round the house after baby was born, she looked in every single room. And each visit thereafter, again looked in every room. I know it’s different for every trust and some probably don’t look around but ours did. I don’t think it was in any way to catch you out on anything but it did feel a bit intrusive… not to mention the pain it was to clean with a newborn!

LapinR0se · 07/06/2022 21:26

Do you think there is anything at all she might be concerned about?

Moonshine160 · 07/06/2022 21:27

When I was pregnant with my first the health visitor came round when I was about 30 weeks pregnant. She stayed in the front room and we chatted for a while. She was lovely and I found her really informative! I even remember her saying that they would never ask to check any part of the house unless they were concerned about a health and safety issue for baby, such as no heating or clean running water in the home (I had cleaned the house from top to bottom because I honestly thought she would inspect the whole place). There was nothing daunting or intrusive about it, they are there to help. I wouldn’t refuse - I found the visit so helpful.

RoseslnTheHospital · 07/06/2022 21:27

It wasn't something that I experienced in either of my pregnancies, I only met them after I was home with my newborn. But maybe it's a new thing in your area.

I appreciate you are nervous of involvement from authority figures like this, but bear in mind they are offering advice only. They can't insist on anything, and the simplest thing to do is to have the appointment, thank them for their time and then forget about it. Try to see them as a potential source of help and support rather than a potential source of judgement.

underneathleaf · 07/06/2022 21:29

I found it quite intrusive to be honest. The first question was "was the baby planned?". I understand why they ask but I hadn't requested the visit, I didn't need the support so I didn't appreciate the questioning! It all felt like a big safeguarding check and I didn't find it useful at all. The second time they scheduled it for my 39th week of pregnancy and funnily enough I'd had the baby by then.

Twizbe · 07/06/2022 21:30

A pre birth appointment with a HV is very normal, but whether you get one depends on the area and staffing.

I didn't get one with my first, but I had an appointment with my second.

You could request the appointment is at the children's centre or other neutral location if that helps. It's also worth sharing your reasons. Whatever people say about HVs their first priority is you and baby and they want to help. They can be really good if you can build a trusting relationship with them.

dillydallydollydaydream7 · 07/06/2022 21:32

First pregnancy HV came round when I was probably as far on as you are and it was literally to ask questions about support systems in place, if I had any questions, what my relationship with DH was like ("does he make you feel loved?" "Does he make you feel safe?"...)

Never looked round the house at all - just asked about where the baby would be sleeping and what in, talked about why it isn't safe to co-sleep and asked about feeding.

Second pregnancy was Covid and only 9 months after giving birth to first baby so they literally rang, said things were remote due to Covid but it wasn't that long ago I had number 1 so she assumed I knew what I was doing!

LessObviousName · 07/06/2022 21:34

I had a HV come when pregnant with my first two pregnancies.
they introduced themselves. Let me know the clinic times and services available and asked questions off a standard list to then be able to offer the right support or info, e.g. what type of feeding you intend, if you say breast feeding then they offer to get breast feeding specialist to call to discuss feeding, if you intend to co sleep and if you say yes give you advice on best way. Asks if anyone in house smokes. Absolutely no judgement from the one who visited me. With second I told them I was worried about my mental health and being at risk of post natal due to stuff going on in my life, so with my permission they passed my details onto their specialist support HV. I got amazing support, never once felt judged, pressured, at risk.
last year he third baby and the absolute lack of support was shocking. Partly due to covid but mostly due to the services being privatised and cut down to the bare minimum. I find it really sad.
mid you decide to allow them to visit I’m sure you will find it not as bad as you fear.
all the best with you pregnancy and congratulations x

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