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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Maternity leave

53 replies

Tnib · 05/06/2022 19:09

Hello, I’m pregnant for the first time and I’m 20 weeks. I was talking to a couple of friends on a WhatsApp group call and they were saying you don’t have any time on maternity leave and one said (jokingly) she thought she’d write a book. They both said you just don’t have time to do all the things you think you could on maternity leave. Just wondering how others found their maternity leave? Did any of you make any life changes personally or professionally during maternity leave? I thought being on maternity leave might give me time to think about what I’d do in the future as I’ve been thinking about a change in my career and inevitably my life will change after the baby.

Thanks

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Pinkflipflop85 · 05/06/2022 19:14

Well, babies tend to take up a fair bit of your attention on maternity leave!

You may get lucky and have a unicorn baby that sleeps a dream and does everything by the book...

HellyR · 05/06/2022 19:16

I had a small sewing project I was going to do on mat leave. Without kids it'd have taken a couple of days. It took me the full year! (Hardly a priority though).

The first year is the maddest- the 1st 3 months even more so. Have zero expectations for anything above keeping as sane and healthy as possible for that time, is my advice! Anything else will be a bonus...

Honaloulou · 05/06/2022 19:19

I had a reading list. Ha. I think I got as far as page 10 on the first book.

Nc58985 · 05/06/2022 19:20

I’m currently on mat leave and thought I’d be able to reassess my career, research new jobs etc but so far I’ve not done any of that! I feel so knackered most of the time that when I’m not feeding, doing laundry, at baby groups etc all I want to do is crash! And work has totally lost its importance. I don’t want to think about it, I just want to enjoy my baby bubble

User65412 · 05/06/2022 19:22

I had big plans for maternity leave. I did absolutely none of it! I also had a very chilled baby who slept well etc. I just didn't have the energy and by the time I'd caught up with house work etc there was no time.
See how it goes but I'd say don't set anything in stone. If you can achieve some of your goals that's great but if not, no stress!

Fleur405 · 05/06/2022 19:24

I didn’t manage to brush my teeth until noon the other day….

esoryelneh · 05/06/2022 19:25

Another one with big plans for mat leave.

Got time for literally none of it, DD is now 18 months I'm working part time and the list has got shorter, only because I've got rid of the ridiculous things on there I thought I could get done.

I don't think you can ever be prepared for the immediate life change the second the baby is born. It's hard, tiring, relentless but the most rewarding thing in the world.

The first few (at least) months of my may leave are a bit of a blur and I only really came up for air after about 6 months.

I loved being in my baby bubble and everything else became so unimportant.

Trinacham · 05/06/2022 19:26

I'm 5 months into maternity leave. The baby will let me put him down for perhaps a total of 1 hour in the day (not in one go) and that's if i'm lucky. I thought babies slept a lot, which they do, but what I didn't realise is that would be in my arms most of the time.

purplepaintedpineapple · 05/06/2022 19:28

I used to think if I unpacked the dishwasher every day I was doing well!

N0va · 05/06/2022 19:28

I'm 6 months into maternity leave. I planned to finish my access course (I told them I was taking 1 month mat leave, I was clueless!) I'm due back on 20th June.
I've put more effort into money making (earn £10 a day thread is keeping my motivated!) and have put a little time into that around DS but I only started 2 months ago properly and wouldn't have managed before that.

marplemead · 05/06/2022 19:30

With my first, I didn't even have time to shower until my DH got home from work. I had completely unrealistic expectations, and wished I'd just enjoyed my baby more. Second time around, I planned to do just that, but started a part-time MSc instead

Geranium1984 · 05/06/2022 19:31

My boy is 21mo and I've only just started reading books again.... about 3 pages each night before my eyes start closing.
Unicorn babies do exist where they sleep in their cots during the day and aren't horrendous at night but mine wasn't one of them!
I was absolutely run ragged trying to survive.

Once he did start reliably napping around 9mo I'd spend that time making his lunch/dinner or tidying up. During his awake time he wanted me to play with him or we would be out and about doing things.

I'd try and focus on using the time to meet groups of other mums and have fun with your baby.
Xx

FallopianTubeTrain · 05/06/2022 19:33

HellyR · 05/06/2022 19:16

I had a small sewing project I was going to do on mat leave. Without kids it'd have taken a couple of days. It took me the full year! (Hardly a priority though).

I started to learn to crochet and bought a toy giraffe kit to make. DS is 4 in a couple of weeks and I'm pleased to say I've easily got as far as opening the box and watching a YouTube video. Should be finished by the time he graduates university.

Dinneronmybfpillow · 05/06/2022 19:33

I know someone who studied throughout theirs to become a magistrate.

I'm 7 weeks in with twins and manage a 5 minute shower per day which is the only time I spend not touching a baby. Doubt I will achieve greatness this maternity.

maythe4thbewithme · 05/06/2022 19:39

I have twins - only had 20 weeks maternity leave but set myself goal of getting 10 years worth of digital photos organised and photo books done by year - probably 10,000 photos to go through. Got it done though 🥳
Maternity leave with eldest I got a load of DIY jobs done around the house which had been on my to do list for a while

catsnore · 05/06/2022 19:42

I am catching up on reading whilst breastfeeding 😂 see also Netflix.

In terms of serious projects that you need to concentrate on - you can do them bit by bit, in short bursts, quite badly! You are too tired to do much more than survive to start with. Then you have to work out how to get through the housework/cooking with a small person in tow. Then you have to work out how to shoehorn work back in to your life! There's not a lot of time to do much else.

JLQ1020 · 05/06/2022 19:48

On maternity leave. I've managed to binge watch friends but only because my baby won't nap anywhere else but on me so means I'm stuck on the sofa for a few hours a day.
Haven't had my hair done since baby was born or my nails

Notadogowner · 05/06/2022 19:49

I took a full year and my most productive days where putting dishes in / out of the washing machine and making dinner.

I’m definitely not one of those blessed with an easy child!!

I’m now ready to punch anyway who claims maternity leave is a holding*!

*Disclosure - I mean punch in my head!

ClearButtons · 05/06/2022 19:53

Well I actually took an accountancy exam when my baby was 8 weeks (and passed) but for transparency- it was resit exam that I'd studied for when I was pregnant so didn't need to read too much and my baby was a good sleeper around that time. She is now 5 months old and I don't think I'd be able to take one now, she is awake a lot more and demands so much more time!!
I have no plans to do anything big now for the rest of my maternity leave, I really struggle even keeping on top of the usual housework most days. I definitely don't think I could retrain or anything, though I do have plans to try and get on a quiz show before I go back to work 😂

Essexgirlupnorth · 05/06/2022 19:56

I think the only think I achieved on maternity leave was rewatching Grey's anatomy from the start and private practice.

One of my NCT said her son did 2hrs nap in the middle of the day so she used to get her sewing machine out. Mine never had a consistency nap schedule. She then had a second with a 19 month gap think the sewing then went out tye window.

milawops · 05/06/2022 19:58

I have a book on my bedside cabinet that I've been trying to read since last maternity leave (last year) just checked and I've managed 34 pages. I did however manage to watch every episode of deadliest catch while up with her overnight. My son is 4 weeks and I managed to run the hoover round downstairs about 10 days ago. Thats about the most I've achieved.

roarfeckingroarr · 05/06/2022 19:58

I did a fair bit during my toddler's first year but he was a sweet calm little thing and we co-slept so I was getting enough sleep.

Due DC2 early next year and I just know it will not be the same.

Nothing wrong with having aspirations but don't beat yourself up if you can't do it. What you do have on maternity leave is time to think on what you wantZ

stuntbubbles · 05/06/2022 20:04

Someone I know DID write a book on maternity leave! But she and her husband are £££ and took a full year together, plus had family support on tap, plus afforded a nanny, and had a unicorn baby. So… not a replicable experience.

I did get quite a bit done once the shock and awe months wore off, lots of gardening and reading books and stuff, but in terms of a big project to concentrate on… it felt like a waste of time better spent with my baby. It goes by fast!

girlmom21 · 05/06/2022 20:07

Some days you'll be grateful if you managed to brush your teeth. Some days you'll tidy the whole house and give the kitchen and bathroom a full deep clean.

Most the time you'll be sat watching This Morning and promise yourself you'll take baby for a walk once it's finished, then a Loose Women topic will catch your eye. Then before you know it you'll have watched Lingo, Tipping Point and The Chase and be asking your husband what's for tea.

Flibbyjibby · 05/06/2022 20:08

I finished my part-time master’s (dissertation year) on mat leave. Got a very high mark for it but found it incredibly stressful splitting my time between baby and studying and always feeling guilty I was neglecting something so I’m looking forward to not having to do that this time!!

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