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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Anxiety regarding stillbirth

34 replies

emilybrook · 22/05/2022 20:18

hi everyone!

just felt the need to find people who have experienced similar worries. I’m currently 38+3 and am constantly worrying that there’s something wrong with my baby. I have been in for reduced fetal movements twice, both times she started to move normally on my drive to the hospital and no issues were found.

Now I’m on maternity leave and her movements are all I think about. I find myself researching stillborn statistics and watching other women’s stillbirth stories, almost in an effort to prepare myself as I feel like something is going to happen.

All I want is an induction now, for my mental well-being and so I can see her and know she’s safe. Any advice on this would be great.

thank you 🙂

OP posts:
ChickpeaPie · 22/05/2022 20:19

Speak to a consultant and request early induction, they wouldn’t induce you for another couple a weeks but could bring it forward from the usual 40+13

Sponge19 · 22/05/2022 20:21

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DarlingDarwin · 22/05/2022 20:22

Post natal depression and anxiety can happen pre birth, might be worth chatting how you’re feeling through with a midwife.

Hugasauras · 22/05/2022 20:23

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It's hardly inappropriate Confused It's a legitimate fear and something she is struggling with and pregnancy anxiety can be crippling. She's perfectly entitled to post about it here.

Original poster
emilybrook · 22/05/2022 20:23

Sponge19 I’m sure many pregnant women experience similar anxieties. I’m not trying to belittle anyones experience.

OP posts:
DarlingDarwin · 22/05/2022 20:24

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Those people don’t have to click on this post do they. OP has made it clear in the title what she is writing about, and whether or not she has experienced a loss, she’s currently experiencing anxiety and is asking for support with that. Which is absolutely what this parenting forum is for.

Original poster
emilybrook · 22/05/2022 20:25

Thank you darling Darwin. I think I’ll have to as the worry is taking over my life at this point.

OP posts:
beth821 · 22/05/2022 20:27

I have experienced baby loss and I don't think it's inappropriate at all. Definitely speak to your midwife qbiut these anxieties and about possible induction if that's what you would like to do. I'm sorry you are feeling like thism

Heresafe · 22/05/2022 20:28

I agree not fair to criticise someone who may have an anxiety that is very real for her and hard to deal with . I relate to it as DS hardly moved for several days and I often think of it now we have him as at a few weeks old now he’s still an extremely quiet and sleepy baby and I had no way of knowing he was ok (though I went in for monitoring twice )

I would speak to a midwife as very likely there’d be no cause for an induction and it’s just your anxiety but you should check and it’s always better to ask if you’re uneasy.

Original poster
emilybrook · 22/05/2022 20:31

Thank you Beth! I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Luckily I feel like I have a lovely team of midwives so I won’t feel too uncomfortable bringing this up. I know an induction isn’t necessarily the most reasonable thing to ask to have before 40 weeks but I will ask her about options xx

OP posts:
lashej · 22/05/2022 20:31

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Horrible post!

lashej · 22/05/2022 20:32

OP I was exactly the same and I understand your anxiety xx

theotherfossilsister · 22/05/2022 20:33

It's a horrible fear and very real, though statistically improbable. I hope you have your baby soon and can know she's safe.

Original poster
emilybrook · 22/05/2022 20:36

Thank you everyone! I know it’s really unlikely and I’m a very anxious person anyway. Helps to know people have experience similar worries. I will definitely bring it up with midwife in case it’s the start of postnatal anxiety.

OP posts:
Mrsbrooks1 · 22/05/2022 20:39

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Are you serious? This lady is clearly suffering with anxiety which can be, and is, debilitating. Mumsnet is for everyone, no matter their personal circumstances, and OP has every right to ask for reassurance from people who are presently or have previously gone through something similar.

You’re the one who’s been unfair.

Hopefully there’s is nothing wrong with op or her baby. Or would it only be appropriate if there was?

Snowraingain · 22/05/2022 20:40

I've experienced baby loss. I think if you're concerned speak to your midwife. I'm sure you're both going to be absolutely fine. Try to keep busy and distract yourself as much as possible. It's so hard when you're at this late stage to do.anything but think about being pregnant and the baby coming.

You're going to be an amazing mum. Try and picture you and your child and the things you will do together. What you want to do each day. When you feel yourself becoming anxious then try a suduko rather than looking at statistics. Or colouring or cooking.
Listen to music or a podcast. You know what the statistics are and there is no need to keep looking.
Talk to the midwife. Buy stuff, eat. Watch crap telly.

Ringo11 · 22/05/2022 20:41

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@Sponge19 that is an unnecessary comment to the op.

BlueBeeSpots · 22/05/2022 20:42

It’s a legitimate fear and it could happen, but the more likely scenario is that you come home with a living baby. You could also be run over at any point, any number of serious things could happen to you. I don’t mean to say this in a mean way and I hope it doesn’t come across as that. It’s just the over likelihood is that your baby will survive so worrying about it to this extent isn’t going to do you any favours? I know you won’t be able to help it, I’m pregnant too and I never just assume the baby will make it out okay. But the statistics are on your side. Make sure to keep an eye on movements (which you seem to be doing a good job with anyway). I hope all goes well for you.

Meifly · 22/05/2022 20:44

Definitely bring it up with your midwife, I also kind of 'prepared' myself for a stillbirth and there was part of me that was sure it would happen - this then turned into terrible anxiety and fear of SIDS when baby was finally here and i really regret not getting help sooner as it affected those early months and bonding so much!

ClearButtons · 22/05/2022 20:44

I sympathise totally as I had the same fear and worry, even though I had a straightforward pregnancy. I was the opposite in that I couldn't even read anything/watch anything as it would increase my anxiety to sky high. I was even imagining what I would have to tell people if it happened, it was an awful time and it began towards the end of the pregnancy. Definitely chat through with your midwives and mention it when you do go into labour - it helps to vocalise these things I think so at least they can help you any way they can x

Original poster
emilybrook · 22/05/2022 20:46

im sorry to hear about your loss snowraingain. I hope you’re doing okay.

It was so much easier to distract myself when working! I’ll have to find more streaming services with crappy films to keep me occupied! thank you for your advice and understanding! 🙏

OP posts:
elenacampana · 22/05/2022 20:48

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This person is struggling, pipe down.

Original poster
emilybrook · 22/05/2022 20:50

Clearbuttons I’m going through exactly the same thing! It’s almost like the thought of disappointing everyone with such horrible news adds another layer of anxiety.

I do feel so silly as I know statistics are on my side and feel terrible for women who experience complications, I can’t imagine how hard their pregnancies must feel.

OP posts:
vegang · 22/05/2022 20:53

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How is it inappropriate? OP is clearly really suffering with anxiety, it's a valid worry to have.

OP, I spent my whole pregnancy in fear of another miscarriage and as I reached full term I also really worried about stillbirth, I had bad anxiety and was similar to you right up until she was born, always worried about movement etc. Ignore anyone who invalidates your feelings, you're not alone. I don't have any advice but everything will be okay ❤️ Can you speak to your midwife about it? I have a perinatal mental health specialist midwife and she was very understanding and did regular doppler checks to help ease my anxiety

elenacampana · 22/05/2022 20:54

I was plagued by these worries during my pregnancy OP, it was so hard. I was referred to the perinatal mental health midwives and got some help. I also found that making a note of when my baby moved helped and also used to say ‘as far as you know there is nothing to worry about and everything is fine.’ Speak to your midwife and let them know how hard you’re finding things and well done for speaking about it here, it takes courage to reach out x

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