Anxiety regarding stillbirth

[emilybrook]

hi everyone!

just felt the need to find people who have experienced similar worries. I’m currently 38+3 and am constantly worrying that there’s something wrong with my baby. I have been in for reduced fetal movements twice, both times she started to move normally on my drive to the hospital and no issues were found.

Now I’m on maternity leave and her movements are all I think about. I find myself researching stillborn statistics and watching other women’s stillbirth stories, almost in an effort to prepare myself as I feel like something is going to happen.

All I want is an induction now, for my mental well-being and so I can see her and know she’s safe. Any advice on this would be great.

thank you 🙂

Op I can totally relate to what you are saying and I want you to know you're not alone. Many women go through this prenatal anxiety. I did too in both of my pregnancies. I used to worry hugely about reduced movements and felt an enormous responsibility that it was all on me to monitor it carefully. I was overdue with both of mine and the anxiety got worse, to the point where I set my alarm in the night to check movements. I became obsessive because I was so scared of still birth. It really effected my experience of pregnancies as I was constantly in fear. I've always said, I love babies but I don't feel like I'm very good at being pregnant, mentally.

There's no easy answer to it other than go with the flow as much as possible and keep faith. Try not to look too far ahead. It's tough in the final stretch anyway so just make it manageable for you. Any type of distraction is always good. Anything that helps you relax. I understand what you're saying about an induction but there are downsides to this so maybe think about that one. Trust in your body and your baby and try to let nature take it's cause. I actually had those words as an affirmation on my bedroom wall during my first pregnancy.

With the anxiety, I know where you're coming from. I have chronic anxiety, fairly severe, mainly focused on health anxiety, so for me, pregnancy x2 were difficult journeys. Thankfully I had support both times from a perinatal mental health service who were great. So maybe look into that? Ask your midwife as a perinatal team will support you up to a year after birth too. Because what I would say is if you're anxious now, put support in place for after baby comes as post natal anxiety can crop up if you're already of an anxious disposition.

Sending hugs and hope all goes well x

My dd had exactly the same OP she was in and out of hospital all the time towards the end as she was worried. It's a really normal worry and her midwives were always happy to see her, monitor her and reassure her. Her baby was born healthy and is now 2! He was just lazy and facing backwards so she didn't feel as much movement as she thought she would. Try not to worry too much but also know that the midwives are there and will never mind you asking for reassurances. Not long until you will have your bundle of joy! Much love xx

OP, I could have wrote this post myself last year when I was pregnant. I was up the hospital so much that they had me in every other day in the end on the monitor until I requested a C-Section at 39 weeks because my anxiety was completely out of control about it. It didn’t help that a celebrity was due the same day as me had a stillbirth at 38 weeks and I completely spiralled. I had my LO, he ended up in special care with fluid on his lungs hence why I now regret the C-Section (more common in section babies). I then became completely paranoid about SIDS, bought a £300 sock to monitor his breathing and heart rate (best thing I’ve ever bought but that’s not the point), when he was then three months he ended up in hospital with a viral infection for two nights and this made my post natal anxiety ten times worse and before I knew it I had completely lost the plot taking his temperature 32 times in one day, I then finally got help! I am now on sertraline and doing a lot better but I really wish I asked for help when I was pregnant. It’s normal to worry about your baby to some extent but it’s so easy to spiral. Please talk to your midwife about this and get help before it becomes obsessive, I really wish I spoke to mine and not waited until my LO was 4 months old. Sending all my love and congratulations to you ❤️

That's exactly what I thought about, disappointing everyone. When I was pregnant with my son, I worked in a big school and everyone knew I was pregnant and constantly asked me questions. Everyone seemed so excited whilst I was so scared something would go wrong. As it turned out, I had a hugely traumatic birth but ds was absolutely fine.

However when I became pregnant with dd, all the fears came back again but in some ways worse. So I made the decision to keep the pregnancy as quiet as possible, made easier by the fact it was lock down and I was working from home. So I didn't have to see anyone, just kept my head down to get through it.
The first most people (apart from close family) heard of my second pregnancy was when she was born! It was quite a surprise!

I was also completely paranoid about having a stillbirth if I went over my due date. There was some logic to it as I was well over 40, so the risks are increased. It was the main reason that I pushed for a CS at 39wks - although there were other factors that also were relevant.

@emilybrook I had been in for reduced movement twice and at 38+1 went in for reduced movement for the third time.

Baby was born at 38+2. Just to let you know that if you're almost gonna be in labour, movements can reduce.

Just go in for another check for peace of mind and speak to your midwife as the others have said. M

Baby will be here in the next few weeks. Till then try breath and picture yourself with the little one. All the best.

Hi, I echo the above posts about speaking to your midwife re your anxiety and concerns. Your feelings are valid and I hope they would listen and support you. I had an unexplained stillbirth at full term with my first child. Having recently had another pregnancy, I could never truly believe baby would be born alive until they thankfully were. As you know from looking at the statistics, the chances of having a stillbirth are extremely low in comparison to a live one. Despite being one of the statistics, I told myself during the second pregnancy that the likelihood of it happening again was extremely unlikely (not that I always believed it by any means!). I had to tell myself regularly that to my knowledge, at that moment, my baby was OK and that was all that I could do. Nobody can say in pregnancy that 'everything will be fine' because there are no guarantees but the high likelihood is that everything will be. Keep looking after yourself, monitor the movements and act upon it if you have any concerns and try to do some things each day that you can enjoy to distract yourself. All the very best.

Prayers to you xxx

Babies should NOT move less as you go into labour. Please do not tell people this, it’s dangerous