Two miscarriages - should I panic?

[Presently83]

Hi all,

I'm currently going through my second miscarriage in 6 months. I am completely heartbroken and now panicking that this is going to happen every time. I don't have any children yet and I'm 39, so it's all making me incredibly anxious that it's never going to happen for me.

Should I worry after two and seek specialist help, or is it probably just a case of bad luck and age and next time might be ok? I can't believe the stats say that only 2% of women have two consecutive miscarriages, because I have so many friends who have had 2/3 miscarriages and gone on to have a baby without treatment.

Really just looking for some friendly reassurance I suppose.

Don't they say after the age of 35 you should seek advice after 6 months of trying? You could book a GP appt for tests, or see a private fertility specialist (that's the route i would go, probably faster and they seem more willing to prescribe progesterone etc). I had tests early on (partner too) because I didn't want to waste time trying if something was actually wrong with a hormone or sperm or whatever.

I'm also 39, had 2 early losses, currently 28 weeks after putting myself on baby aspirin and progesterone pessaries (prescribed by gynaecologist). No one can say whether they were the magic solution but I'll take them again if we try for another!

I'm so sorry for your losses. I had two MC in between my two DD. I had my two late, 37 and 42.

Definitely worth seeking help. We got referred after my second MC to a clinic and had tests done which all came back clear. It was good to speak to someone.

Good luck.

I could have written your post - I was 39, going through my second consecutive miscarriage and trying to work out what to do.

I lost the first pregnancy through a missed miscarriage - we found out at ten and a half weeks that the baby's heartbeat had stopped around 8.5 weeks, despite having had two earlier scans which had showed a strong heartbeat. I then got pregnant again and that pregnancy just had problems from the start - lots of spotting, embryo not measuring correctly for my dates, lack of growth of the baby and a very slow heartbeat so we knew that the pregnancy didn't seek viable. I started bleeding properly around 8 weeks with that one and had to have a D&C.

After both of the losses, I decided to try and throw everything we could at getting a successful pregnancy. I saw a nutritionist and started having acupuncture. I read 'It Starts with the Egg' and bought and took all the recommended supplements for egg quality. I also had a private online consultation with a fertility doctor and was prescribed progesterone, Clexane, steroids, aspirin and high dose folic acid to take once I'd got pregnant again.

Anyhow, I got pregnant again last June and am currently sitting here feeding my 12 week old baby 😊.

I found that the NHS wouldn't do anything until I'd had 3 miscarriages in a row. So if you're in a position to go private then I'd definitely recommend doing so. I'd say the cost of the consultation plus the medication came to under £2000 in total.

Please do PM me if you want any more information. Hope so much that you have a successful next pregnancy . Miscarriage is such a horrible thing to go through and two in a row very nearly broke me.

Similar to previous posters: I had two consecutive miscarriages in 2019. One at 8 weeks, one at 11 weeks. I had an ERPC for the first and was going to opt for medical management for the second, but (thankfully) avoided it as my body miscarried whilst I awaited my appointment to receive the medication.

Mentally, I wasn't in a great place and felt I needed to seek answers, or at least, have a plan in place. I went private and had consultations and was going to have a round of tests. My partner had a sperm analysis which was all clear. Before my tests could commence, I was pregnant again - but the clinic were absolutely brilliant. I got prescriptions for steroid tablets, progesterone, aspirin and blood thinning injections. My daughter was born in September 2020. Cost around 4k for medications, tests, consultant fee and numerous scans. I'm in London, if that helps.

I'm pregnant now and decided to see what would happen without intervention. All seemed fine but at 9 weeks I started spotting which is how my two previous miscarriages started, so I thought I was in for another. Was scanned in the EPU and baby was fine, no reason for bleeding found. I pressed for a progesterone prescription and got it, because NICE guidelines changed in November 2021, and women with previous miscarriages and bleeding will not be prescribed 400mg twice daily without the need to see someone privately. Your GP can do the same for you, just go armed with the NICE guidelines if necessary and applicable. I was already taking baby aspiring (150mg daily every evening) as that's what I had done in my other successful pregnancy.

I'm now 23 weeks and all seems ok at the moment, hoping it stays this way.

I do think it's a personal choice if you want to opt for tests privately or not, there is a cost involved certainly, and it's not cheap. However I've read many threads on here and seen positive outcomes for lots of women who decided to opt for private support.

Good luck and I'm sorry for your losses. It's so hard!

I had 1 MC then had dd and DS then another MC then DS then another MC with second DH. Two of them were at 16 weeks too. They were the worse.

No, it's not uncommon and over 90% go on to carry a pregnancy to term x

Thanks everyone. Really kind and helpful words of support.

@DappledOliveGroves I was actually having this pregnancy monitored by a private clinic in London because I was so anxious after the first miscarriage, and they prescribed aspirin and clexane, but not progesterone because apparently my levels were fine. They didn't get round to do immunology testing because my HCG levels stopped rising properly at 6 weeks and a scan showed the sac but an embryo measuring too small, so now I'm nearly 7 weeks and just waiting for the actual miscarriage to happen, which is torturous. I don't feel pregnant anymore but it's taking its time to happen which is frustrating.

I'm definitely going to stay private because of my age and how crucial speed is, I'm just feeling so defeated by it all.

@me4real after 2 miscarriages the likelihood of a third is nearly 30% so your comment, while well meaning, isn’t correct.

So sorry OP. As someone who has been there I would seek testing at a recurrent miscarriage clinic (normal criteria is 3 miscarriages but many will see over 35s after 2). I was told so many ‘positives’ by midwives, GP and well meaning family, friends and strangers, but the fact was I had undiagnosed APS and without that diagnosis my odds of a successful pregnancy were less than 1 in 5. I was 37 when I had my third miscarriage and the clinic agreed I should have been referred after 2.

If they won’t see you now, as a minimum I recommend you have the blood tests privately. Last time I checked they cost about £200 for all 3, and had I known this blood test was available to me I would have got it privately after the first.

wishing you luck.

Sorry, I was blunt there, but I’ve had the false hope comments and what I needed was facts. False hope caused delays for me.

Hi OP, totally agree with all PP about continuing to get checked out etc and I really hope the clinic you're with can provide some answers. At the same time, I found that having some hope was helpful (while keeping that reality check too), and reading about happy endings helped me get through the darkest times. So in case it helps, I had two very early miscarriages last year (I'm 35) and was worried I'd never get a pregnancy to stick, but am now 23 weeks with pregnancy number 3. Sending you all the resilience and strength in the world, it sounds like you have a really good approach to this and I hope all goes well for you in the future

Also I'm incredibly sorry to hear about everyone's losses including OP's, sending you all

@Littlegoth what exactly are the tests? I've had a few done (thyroid, vitamin d, progesterone) and was prescribed clexane for this last pregnancy, but the immune one seems to be £800. Which did you have? X

@Presently83 The blood tests I had were a full thrombophilia screen, the one I tested positive for was lupus anticoagulant

tests to consider are listed here

www.southtees.nhs.uk/services/pathology/tests/thrombophilia-screen/

x

@Littlegoth thank you xx

now I'm nearly 7 weeks and just waiting for the actual miscarriage to happen, which is torturous. I don't feel pregnant anymore but it's taking its time to happen which is frustrating.

@Presently83 I had this happen twice, a 'missed miscarriage' and each time the treatment was dilation and curettage. They didn't suggest I wait at all. Maybe this would be better for you.

Just to say I'm so sorry to read about everyone's losses. I've also had two losses this past year; one was "straightforward" physically and the other dragged forever. We are trying again now, and just hoping it goes wellquick and successful. I hope this for everyone else who is trying at the moment. It's so painful, and I had no idea. ❤OP I went to get checked for Asherman's, as that was my main fear; I think if you have the money/time, it's worth getting any test you can getwhy not eliminate anything you can....for me, I'm pretty sure it was chromosomal and just hoping for a healthy egg (or sperm! that gets forgotten!) next time.

Not sure why it crossed out load of my message...not intended!

Oh, and just to add that I did wait...well, I had medical management 4 times! because I was desperate to avoid the surgery. All in all, it took 2 months. If, god forbid, I have to do it again, I'd prob opt for surgery straight away.

@LASandOtto @DappledOliveGroves would you mind sharing which private clinics you used? I'm also in London. I've been speaking with / having scans at a few but not sure which one to use if we have to get expensive testing / IVF....

@taykitty20 yeah nothing seems to be happening yet, there's still a heartbeat but slowing down and not growing fast enough. I'm just desperate to be out of this limbo. I think I'll opt for d&c if I can.

Hello - I had a healthy pregnancy at 38 and then lost two babies at age 40. Then went onto have a healthy baby age 41.

I had private treatment for my miscarriages as I have work insurance and saw a consultant after the second who I think reassured me there was only a 2/3% chance of losing again

It's so very tough when you lose babies as all I wanted were answers and reassurance it wouldn't happen again as it's so awful.

@Presently83 I had an online consultation and was prescribed the medication by Nova Fertility.

@welshladywhois40 thank you, this is reassuring; did you have any treatment with your successful pregnancy?

So sorry. The waiting is so tough, I hope you are ok, as well as can be x I should have also said that following investigations and diagnosis at the recurrent miscarriage clinic I was under, my next pregnancy was successful. I know a few people who had 2 miscarriages, and went on to have complication free pregnancies after those, one of them has 4 children now so even if tests don’t give you any answers it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong. X

@Presently83 we were on the ttc aoril/May thread together and I'm having a miscarriage too. I've been searching Mumsnet looking for any kind of info on an early loss and I recognised your name. I only got to 5 weeks 2 days. I'm really just writing to let you know you aren't alone, it really does feel like the loneliest grief xx

Pregnancy tests are still hugely positive for me and I've been bleeding for a few days. I lost a pregnancy at 8 weeks but thought because I was so early they would drop sooner

I hope you're ok xxx