Two miscarriages - should I panic?

[Presently83]

Hi all,

I'm currently going through my second miscarriage in 6 months. I am completely heartbroken and now panicking that this is going to happen every time. I don't have any children yet and I'm 39, so it's all making me incredibly anxious that it's never going to happen for me.

Should I worry after two and seek specialist help, or is it probably just a case of bad luck and age and next time might be ok? I can't believe the stats say that only 2% of women have two consecutive miscarriages, because I have so many friends who have had 2/3 miscarriages and gone on to have a baby without treatment.

Really just looking for some friendly reassurance I suppose.

@MrsGrealish oh hi! My MN got SO weird and I couldn't find that thread anywhere! I searched and searched and searched but it was completely lost to me. I was so sorry to get a positive test and run.

I'm so so sorry you're going through this too. I remember you had a chemical earlier this year which must feel like a horrible double whammy. I'm so sorry love.

Things with me are so inconclusive.

I'm technically 8+2 now and still so confused about what's going on. Was having the pregnancy monitored because I was nervous after the October MMC at 11wks, and this time HCG wasn't doubling properly by about 6wks. They told me to expect a miscarriage. At 7wks I went to hospital and had a scan and they said I was measuring a week behind, so back to 6wks, but there was a heartbeat. Another scan on Monday revealed a fast heartbeat and relative growth BUT a very small gestational sac which isn't much bigger than the baby. In 95% of cases this leads to miscarriage.

But still nothing yet. I'm drinking gallons of water but don't have a good feeling at all. And I'm going on holiday on Friday. I'm so reluctant to cancel because I feel like my life has been on hold since the last MC. It's such a waiting game. But then I suppose all of pregnancy is.

How are you feeling about things? Are you going to get any tests done or do you just think it's bad luck and us being a bit older? I'm so sorry for your loss love xxx

@Presently83 I feel like my age has played a massive part in this loss. To me this feels like a little more than a chemical (with my first chemical the lines went negative immediately) I've still got a strong line on a one step today after 3 days of heavy bleeding.

No don't cancel your holiday! I'd say you need it now more than ever.

I won't try again. I say this now and hopefully mean it. Im sick of living my life in 2 week intervals if that makes any sense.

I hope 🙏 you are the 5% that makes it! So good seeing a fast heartbeat but I'm sure you're living on the edge at the mo. So much luck to you ❤️ and enjoy your holiday xxx

@MrsGrealish how are you getting on, lovely? Any news? Xx

@Presently83 I rang epu in a panic last Thursday. Clear blue test increased to 2-3 weeks so they booked me in for a scan tomorrow. I've been bleeding for 11 days and one day was really bad so I'm just really expecting them to confirm the loss. Still feel bloated and have achy boobs but I imagine that's just the pregnancy hormone. I'm absolutely bricking it though

How are you doing? Any update on your little bean?

@MrsGrealish oh god poor you, how scary. Hopefully you should get some answers either way.

I've managed to make it through the holiday without going to hospital, scan back at EPAU on Monday. Again, not hopeful, just want some closure either way. X

Hi all, I'm just at a bit of loss really a bit like some of you guys I imagine.

I've just had my second miscarriage, I had my first one in January. Took my body along time to recover from the D&C as I expect it will this time. My partner and I are lucky in the fact we find it easy to fall pregnant. I have an almost three year old and after the first mc I didn't expect to be in the same boat again a few months down the line.

Because I'm 29 and haven't had three mc in row even though I also had one before I had my son, I get know advice/help just try again they say. And at this point I just don't no what to do for the best! This will be my third d&c and it's just can't be good for me physically to keep having them.

Any advice welcome at this point!

@izzyroo92 I’m so sorry. In your position I would push for a referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic, as even though you’ve had a successful pregnancy in between, your history shows a pattern of recurrent miscarriage. 3 miscarriages out of 4 pregnancies is not common and many hospitals are starting to recognise this and will accommodate you, others you might need to be a relentless thorn in their side. When you have your D&C, insist the hospital refer you to the RMC and go to PALS if they refuse. The waiting lists for the recurrent miscarriage clinics are long, made worse by the pandemic, so important to get on the list now. It’s only the U.K. that classes recurrent miscarriage as 3 in a row, in Europe and the USA it’s 2 miscarriages, even if there has been a successful pregnancy between them. Thinking of you x

@Littlegoth thank you for this message. I'm heading to the hospital now for my d&c and I'm going to push for it today your message has given me the push/confidence I needed. Thank you so much I'll let you know how I get on!!

If it’s any comfort, OP, my dd had 2 early misses (one at 8 weeks) before having her first baby at 38, her 2nd at 39, and her 3rd at nearly 43 - the two last without even trying.
All best wishes - do remember that early misses are extremely common, and please try not to worry. 🤞

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER thank you for stories like this! So helpful. After a MMC at 38 and now 39 I am despairing totally, but this gives me hope ❤️

Don't get discouraged. A friend had I think 3 miscarriages in 2 years. Now she is getting ready to welcome her baby girl. She's 38 or 39.

💐 For you all.

I had five miscarriages TTC my first, and I know what a horrible place it is to be in.

I eventually had a healthy baby on my 6th attempt, and am now pregnant again.

Had my d&c yesterday all went well. Zero bleeding today though very strange my last two I bleed a lot after.

The hospital refused to refer me as I haven't three in a row. The nurse said I should try my gp and lay it on thick how it's affecting my mental health and maybe they might refer me. Crazy system in my opinion x

@izzyroo92 I'm so sorry, love. It's so brutal you have to have three before they care. Two has almost killed me. Sending you enormous love xxx

Hi all, I know this thread has stopped but I just don’t know where else to go. I guess I should start my own thread but don’t have the headspace. I’ve just started to bleed this week at 10 weeks. EPU scan showed 6 week old embryo no heartbeat but they said that’s normal for 6 weeks. But the dates being out and the amount of bleeding means they’ve said it’s likely a ‘failing pregnancy’ I have a scan next Wednesday. This will be my second MMC, my last was diagnosed 25th of April. I’m lucky as I have an 18 month old son who gives me great joy. I conceived him after 16 months of TTC and a couple of CPs. I am 39 and I guess that’s against me but two MMCs in a row has gotten me very down. Any positive stories would be welcome. All my friends have had their kids. I feel like the last one left trying and I just feel that being older you get judged. I started trying at 36 years old. I never realised it takes years to complete your family, so naive.

Hi @Dragon82 I'm so sorry. I remember how I felt after my second MC in a row at 12 weeks. It's a horrible lonely place. Take time to take care of yourself. And to grieve for your loss.

I had DD1 at 37 and then had one CP and two MC both at 12 weeks. I went on to have DD2 at 42, the week before I was 43. It took a long time to get pregnant with DD2 and we'd given up when I fell pregnant.

Look after yourself.

Thanks for this. I’m glad you got your two babies xxx My previous MMC was picked up at 8.5 weeks (embryo was 7 weeks not heartbeat detected). The physical aspect wasn’t too bad at home. I’m a bit worried this time as although embryo is 6 weeks my body is 10 weeks pregnant. I’ve got feminax and co-codomol to hand, didn’t need them last time. Midwives say bad period but my sister had a MMC at 7 weeks and 11 weeks and she fainted with the 11 weeks miscarriage. I was with her at time. So I’m a bit apprehensive. I don’t want to ask her too many questions as she’s 17 weeks pregnant at moment and doesn’t need the stress. I guess at 12 weeks it was bad for you in terms of pain. I guess it’s different for everyone. I was thinking about giving up, but I’m going to try again I think. I’m not that old I guess at 39. And I was lucky once with my boy. Maybe I’ll get lucky again.

Neither of my MC were especially physically painful. I do have a high pain threshold though. I took paracetamol. Everyone's different. Take good care and hang on to those who love you. X

So sorry @Dragon82 it totally bloody sucks. I had a d&c almost 3 weeks ago. My second one this year. I'm almost 30 so have time on my side which I'm grateful for and my almost three year old does keep me busy but I'm also always surrounded by new babies and pregnant women and it's a nightmare. I'm scared to try again. I manage to get my gp to send a referral to the early mc unit but it got pushed back yesterday. Sending lots of love and hope your way.

Hi @soupmaker, high pain threshold and paracetemol. Fingers crossed I’ll be ok then, feeling less apprehensive about it now. Thank you for sharing. @izzyroo92 time is on your side but after two miscarriages I’m not surprised you’re feeling a bit unhappy around pregnant mums and new babies. And I’m sorry they pushed back your recurrent miscarriage referral. Three miscarriages in a row seems a lot to have to go through to get a referral. It helps me to know it’s normal to be devastated even though I have a little boy. I’m absolutely sure it’s more scary if you have no children and have 2 miscarriages, but even knowing I have my son, I’m still scared that I might not be able to have another. I will try to fight the negative thoughts and stay positive. Thanks xxx

Sadly don't have my own success storythough I know of others who havebut saying hi and I'm so sorry for your losses. I am nearly 39 and have had 3 over 9 months. I do have two older children (same partner). I've been referred but as it's nearly a year's wait I may go private as don't feel time is on my side. Hope you are all ok and thank you to those who shared success stories, it has helped.

Not sure why it crosses things out--not intentional! Meant to be dashes.

@Ganesh2022 I’m so sorry for your three losses. That’s so hard and must be incredibly difficult for you. Sending best wishes to you for a positive line. I can’t believe it’s a year long wait. I think private is definitely an option and it sounds like the NHS isn’t able to support in time. But having to go private is just an extra thing I’m sure you don’t need right now. Sending lots of thoughts your way x