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Original poster

Too posh to push c section comments

44 replies

Orangessunshine · 01/05/2022 00:17

I had an emergency c section last month and have had a couple of too posh to push comments implying c section is the easier option.

The c section was an emergency to ensure my child and I both survived which i know I don’t need to explain to anyone however the comments still annoy me.
does anyone have any facts or stats I can use to show exactly how rude and wrong these comments are.

thanks

OP posts:
Fizzyfish · 01/05/2022 00:21

Just tell them exactly that, it was an emergency to ensure you both survived!

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/05/2022 00:21

Congratulations on your baby 😊

Don't ever argue with stupid. You won’t win, even armed with stats, and it’s a waste of your time.

Ignore anyone so stupid and nasty.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/05/2022 00:22

You don't need facts or stats, you need boundaries.

If it's someone thinking they're funny, "it was pretty traumatic so I don't really see the humour in it".

It's another mum who's trying to say you had it easier, "I was just happy my life and baby's life was saved, hardly about being 'posh'"

If it's a close family member, "well I suppose I could have been common and died".

If it's a friend, I wouldn't have a friend like that. What you don't need is ways to justify your birth.

MajorCarolDanvers · 01/05/2022 00:25

Tell it to them straight. That you and baby would have died snd you find their rudeness distressing.

LovelyYellowLabrador · 01/05/2022 00:28

Anyone saying that is a knob and not worth the headspace

TashieWoo · 01/05/2022 00:32

If it's a close family member, "well I suppose I could have been common and died".

Love this @MrsTerryPratchett I’ll be sure to use it if I have a similar comment from anyone.

I agree with @AnneLovesGilbert in that you can’t argue with stupid, I’m going through the asserting boundaries phase with my MIL and it is rather frustrating. Just feel sorry for them that they’re so ignorant and don’t listen to them or their opinions further down the line.

Congratulations on the safe arrival of your baby and I hope you recover quickly from the surgery x

Bubbles021 · 01/05/2022 00:34

Gosh I'm so sorry, people can be so rude and insensitive.
I've just had a date given for an elective section in August. My first baby passed away when I was 33 weeks pregnant last year, and although it wasn't related to his birth, I'm terrified of a natural delivery this time and a c section seems so much more controlled in my mind, so I'm doing what I need to for my own sanity and having a section!
Regardless of how your baby is born it's hard bloody work! Some people need to read through the risks associated with a c section and then see if it's about being 'too posh to push'.
Congratulations on your baby, there's absolutely no shame in how your little one entered the world 💖

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/05/2022 00:35

If you’d had an elective section purely because that’s the delivery you wanted they’d still be arseholes to judge you btw.

Given it was an emergency and I’m sure not at all the delivery you were hoping for it’s properly horrible they’re giving you hassle. It’s not funny, it’s none of their business and it’s cruel.

Bunnyfuller · 01/05/2022 00:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fedupmum21 · 01/05/2022 00:56

@Bunnyfuller “flappy fanny”
I just choked on my tea!!! 🤣🤣
so sorry people are being so awful OP, I had two emergency sections (41+6 with my first due to us both having sepsis and 28+6 with my second due to severe, fulminating pre-eclampsia) and if anyone ever makes any comments trying to make out that it was the easy option I am very quick to shut that rubbish down!! Me and my daughters all almost died- neither were an enjoyable experience in all honesty!!!

Sonaive10 · 01/05/2022 01:06

They are all just jealous and are best ignored. There is no need for you to justify anything.

Sonaive10 · 01/05/2022 01:10

Bubbles021 · 01/05/2022 00:34

Gosh I'm so sorry, people can be so rude and insensitive.
I've just had a date given for an elective section in August. My first baby passed away when I was 33 weeks pregnant last year, and although it wasn't related to his birth, I'm terrified of a natural delivery this time and a c section seems so much more controlled in my mind, so I'm doing what I need to for my own sanity and having a section!
Regardless of how your baby is born it's hard bloody work! Some people need to read through the risks associated with a c section and then see if it's about being 'too posh to push'.
Congratulations on your baby, there's absolutely no shame in how your little one entered the world 💖

Sorry for your loss Bubbles021 💐. You are absolutely doing the right thing going forward. An elective C-section will seem totally under control and your precious baby will be in your arms very quickly indeed. Very best wishes.

ALittleBitofVitriol · 01/05/2022 01:37

The only comment you need is 'wow, that's rude!'
You don't need to justify your medical decisions.
Congratulations on your new bub!

heartofgoldcoins · 01/05/2022 02:14

Another thread on this....?

DogsAndGin · 01/05/2022 16:10

Let it go OP.

There’s no point arguing with ignorant people. Move on and choose happiness.

And for the record, there is no way I’ll be pushing one out!

Badbadbunny · 01/05/2022 16:14

The more annoying thing was when I had my C-section (not an "emergency" but no choice either due to pre-eclampsia), I saw my file and on the front was a rubber stamp with a choice of "elective" or "emergency", the elective box having been ticked. So the statistics would show I'm one of the "too posh to push" women but in reality, I had no choice in the matter. What do they say about lies, damned lies and statistics??

TheSnowyOwl · 01/05/2022 16:17

Do you feel sensitive about the method you gave birth? I only ask because I’ve had four c sections (sadly they didn’t always save the life of my baby) and only one person (who ran an NCT course) had anything other than positive or neutral things to say about it.

RandomQuest · 01/05/2022 16:20

Too posh to push is a reference to private consultant lead care, in a private hospital, where elective c-sections by maternal request are the prevalent mode of delivery. It’s a completely stupid, judgemental turn of phrase but it also has zero relevance to an EMCS like you had. Listen to @AnneLovesGilbert because she’s right, you can’t argue with stupid. And congratulations on your baby!

TheSnowyOwl · 01/05/2022 16:23

Badbadbunny · 01/05/2022 16:14

The more annoying thing was when I had my C-section (not an "emergency" but no choice either due to pre-eclampsia), I saw my file and on the front was a rubber stamp with a choice of "elective" or "emergency", the elective box having been ticked. So the statistics would show I'm one of the "too posh to push" women but in reality, I had no choice in the matter. What do they say about lies, damned lies and statistics??

It’s classed as elective because it’s a pre-booked appointment, not because it’s not under medical advice. It’s only an emergency if it has to be carried out within a certain timeframe eg a category 1 needs to be within 30 mins of the decision being made to go ahead. It’s why sometimes a GA is used instead of a spinal, because of time constraints.

Yummymummy2020 · 01/05/2022 16:25

I absolutely hate the whole too posh to push thing. I have no idea why people think it’s ok to say. But honestly with these people even if you had a vaginal birth, they will find something else to criticise such as how you feed your baby or naps or basically any stupid thing they have no business passing comment on in the first place.

SoggyPaper · 01/05/2022 16:26

I’ve had 3 babies, the last of which was an emergency section. It’s definitely not the easy option. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

people just talk rubbish.

roadyt · 01/05/2022 16:29

my VB (without much pain relief) recovery was far easier than my elective CS. I honestly have no idea where the narrative comes from.

roadyt · 01/05/2022 16:32

They are all just jealous and are best ignored.

I also don't understand this narrative, why would you be jealous of a CS?

PeekabooAtheZoo · 01/05/2022 16:39

Maybe the best response is "Too posh to push? Wow I haven't heard that phrase since 2003. What a throwback!"
Who's saying this to you? Have they ever given birth? Are they projecting their birth trauma onto your experience (wishing they'd been taken for a CS when things went bad) or are they a clueless idiot who thinks they're funny?

ComDummings · 01/05/2022 16:47

When nosy people ask why I had c-sections I actually say ‘I’m too posh to push’ to shut them up. Ignore rude people. How you birth your baby is no concern of theirs.