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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnant and terrified. I am 35 hubby 45yo

33 replies

Pregnantandvworried · 30/04/2022 08:01

Hi everyone .
I have 2 children who are 13 and 11. Eldest has suspected autism otherwise healthy children .

We've tried for 3rd child for few years but it was not happening.

I am now 4 weeks pregnant and I am so worried that I can't sleep . I ve been up all night worrying that the child will be born poorly due to our age.I also had CT scan not knowing I was pregnant and that adds to the worry .
I am now thinking that maybe we made a mistake having child that late in life.
I thought that I will be very happy to find out that I am pregnant but actually I am not happy now :(
I don't know how to help myself stop worrying.
Will this feeling pass ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Frogslegsbigfeet · 30/04/2022 08:04

Op. Is there a typo? It says you’re only 35? Which is a perfectly normal age to have a child.

if it’s not a typo is there maybe a back story Ie do you suffer anxiety etc?

stairgates · 30/04/2022 08:06

I think CT scans have been found to be ok in pregnancy? Is it the big tunnel machine? Which area did they scan?

Annatinks · 30/04/2022 08:09

I’ve had my second child at 37
My first was at 18

This pregnancy was better in so many ways and I’m a better/more experienced mother.

I had extreme anxiety (previous birth trauma and Covid fears) so I was referred to the Perinatel mental health team and received very good support. Now he’s one and life is brilliant - you deserve this after all this time and 35 is in no way to old. Good luck with your pregnancy!

girlmom21 · 30/04/2022 08:14

Lots of people don't have their first child before 35. You're not old, at all. Don't worry!

DappledOliveGroves · 30/04/2022 08:15

I had my first DD when I was 19 and I've just had DD2 at 39 (I turned 40 9 days after she was born). She's now 10 weeks and I have to say the whole experience of pregnancy, birth and babyhood has been so much better than first time around. The pregnancy was much easier, I had an elective C-section and parenting DD with a partner is an amazing experience. 35 is still comparatively young - I'm sure you'll be fine.

worriedaboutmoney2022 · 30/04/2022 08:18

I had my first at 35 you'll be fine and congratulations 🥳

SilverPeacock · 30/04/2022 08:22

OP your level of anxiety about this is out of proportion so you should speak to gp about it if it doesn’t resolve. There is always going to be a slight risk at any age and 35 is a very normal age to be having a baby. I was 36 when I had my first perfectly healthy child which is 15 years ago now.

ZarquonsSandals · 30/04/2022 08:22

I was much older than you when I had my child. 35 is a perfectly average age.

devildeepbluesea · 30/04/2022 08:25

I had my only at nearly 40. Sailed through pregnancy. She’s now 9, I’m 49 and we do loads of stuff together: cycling, trips away, days out, I’m forcing her getting her to start couch to 5k this weekend and we’re both starting Taekwando in a couple of weeks. I might be an older mum but that doesn’t make me decrepit.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 30/04/2022 08:27

35 is not old, op.

Footballsundays6777 · 30/04/2022 08:31

Your 35…. Nothing to worry about.

CT scan wise where did they scan?

CheeseBoard2022 · 30/04/2022 08:34

35 is not old. If you had said 47 + then yes but 35 is when most people are having their first child!

Daisycrown · 30/04/2022 08:40

Ahh...I had my first at 18 and my last at 38. Best ...thing ...ever!! Relax and enjoy the contrast

Original poster

Pregnantandvworried · 30/04/2022 09:14

Thank you everyone. Your messages are very reassuring .

It's not a typo I am 35 and my husband is 10 years older. He will be 63 when our child is 18 .

I remember when I was pregnant with my other 2 ladies over the age of 35 were offered extra tests due to age. It may have changed now.

The CT scan I had was on my head.
It was not the tube machine (MRI which I think is safe ). It was the doughnut shaped machine which I read is equal to 100 single x rays.
It was about 10 days past ovulation . I asked the Doctor to make pregnancy test and it came back negative (or that's what they said ) . The following day when I was discharged from hospital I've done test at home which came back positive. Clear blue digital (1-2 weeks )

OP posts:

clairemaddox · 30/04/2022 10:32

Is there anything out there that says a man's age affects a foetus? Sorry, I don't know.

I had mine at 34 and to say she is healthy is an understatement. She was born completely healthy, absolutely not one problem to speak of.

Don't stress, that certainly won't help.

I want another baby too and am trying. I'm 40.

Notwithittoday · 30/04/2022 10:42

My husband and I were a year older than both of you when we had a baby. I had the same concerns as you. I think I read older dads are more likely to have autistic children and I was particularly worried as one of his other children Shows signs of autism and delayed speech. I paid to have nipt done at the earliest opportunity which was fine. That put my mind at rest a bit but obviously doesn’t tell you whether they will have autism. Anyway she is 17 months now and appears to be fine. Very advanced and bright in fact. Speaks in short sentences, will come up and kiss you and do role play with dolls so I’m not worried about autism. Chances are your baby will be fine.

TheGirlWithTheGreyBunny · 30/04/2022 11:30

My mum had me at 36 and I’m fit and healthy. My dad was 9 years older than her too. So don’t worry it’s not even uncommon to have children later in life but 35 isn’t old.
as for the mri. We’re you injected with anything prior to your scan?
obviously there is a reason they won’t do a scan or X-ray unless necessary on a pregnant woman but you do need to bring this up with your doctor. I had a hida scan on day 8 of of my cycle then convinced on day 13/14. I was injected with radio active dye. I am 18 weeks now Iv had extra scans and all looks so so far. Im waiting for my 20 week scan then I have another in fetal medicine at 21 weeks to check again

Icecreamandapplepie · 30/04/2022 11:35

3 in mid to late thirties here. No problems at all and certainly no extra tests or anything of the sort offered!

SirChenjins · 30/04/2022 11:40

DH was 44 when we had DC3 (a ‘happy surprise’!) and I was 38 - DC1 was 9 and DC2 was 7. Honestly, it’s been great - tough at times as all new babies are, but he’s the most adored child and incredibly happy and laid back, probably because we’ve been through it all and are v laid back as a result. He’s 15 now and DH is 59 - while he’s obviously one of the older dads he’s not the oldest by a long stretch. So many people are having their families later in life, or it’s not unusual at all. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

DressingGownofDoom · 30/04/2022 11:45

35 is ok. Go for a harmony test if you're worried.

catsnore · 30/04/2022 12:02

I've just had my second DD at 42. Had first DD at 33. Only difference was that they kept a closer eye on me second time around as after 40 there are higher risk factors for some conditions. 35 is perfectly normal age to have a baby - don't worry!

wiiinoforever · 30/04/2022 12:08

Excuse me? Late in life? You're 35!

I had my first baby at 35. Like lots of women I know and see in antenatal where I work. Perfectly healthy YOUNG women. How insulting.

Thursday37 · 30/04/2022 12:20

wiiinoforever · 30/04/2022 12:08

Excuse me? Late in life? You're 35!

I had my first baby at 35. Like lots of women I know and see in antenatal where I work. Perfectly healthy YOUNG women. How insulting.

Yes 100%

I was 41, DH was 46, when we had our DD we were not considered old in our circles either. A average age of our NCT for first baby is 36.

Original poster

Pregnantandvworried · 30/04/2022 12:23

I didn't meant to insult anyone. This was not my intention at all.

I mentioned both of our ages as my husband is 45 - 10 years older than me.

I lost my dad when he was 60 (2 years ago), our child will be 15 when my OH will be that age.Maybe that's what makes me so sensitive.

Thank you everyone who shared their stories. Really reassuring.

OP posts:

Original poster

Pregnantandvworried · 30/04/2022 12:24

Also I think I may be extra worried due to having CT scan. All things combined with hormones all over the place making me more anxious /sensitive.

OP posts:

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