just need a rant- so FED UP of the 'hopefully it's a girl' comments

[2022xx]

I am pregnant with baby number 2.

I have a little boy and we never found out the sex with him, and we are having a surprise this time around as well

i am literally sick to death of getting comments 'hopfully it will be a girl' or 'it's definatley going to be a girl'

when we told me FiL the first thing he said was 'oh hopefully this time it will be a girl' and it makes me so annoyed and upset

yes a girl would be lovely, but it it's a boy myself and my husband are not the slightest bit bothered, it's actually getting to a point where we are saying we want baby to be a boy!

I know sometimes people don't mean any harm by it, but it really is frustrating when we hear it EVERY DAY from the same people . before i even got pregnant with this baby , my MiL would say things like 'oh you will have to try for a girl next time' - like there is actually something you can do for this to happen!!

it makes me feel like my son is not good enough for people, or if i have another son they will not be as loved

rant over

People seem to say pointless comments about pregnancy and babies all the time. Everyone wants some sort of opinion, no matter how irrelevant it is.

Try to ignore them as best you can, or just tell them you are more interested in having a happy, healthy baby than about gender.

I understand. I had two daughters first and when we found out the second was a girl I got asked if I was disappointed by my parents. I really didn't care and was very happy with a girl! I eventually had a boy and everyone was so pleased. I didn't care if they were all girls. To encourage you though, girl 2 was just as loved as girl 1.

People are still so worried about the gender of a baby in this day in age? Very weird to me! Ignore you mil.

I've got two boys now and virtually everyone said they hoped the third was a girl for me. I've started asking them why every single time and no one has a decent reason, it's all just sexism. Meanwhile the reasons for wanting another boy make so much sense (sharing rooms, passing down clothes, same schools, etc.). Bizarre.

I had exactly the same. We found out the sex woth DC2, after loads of those comments and I was actually furious when i was told they were a girl because it felt as though all the comments were justified. And predictably, when we told people we were expecting a girl - 'ohhh how lucky a little girl now'. Well, yeah (and cant imagine my now 6 year old little mini me being anything else but who she is). But I'd have LOVED two boys.

I had that.
I used to say actually, I want another boy. My son is brilliant.

Not that a girl wouldn't have been great. I just said it because they fucked me off.

I have 2 DS's and I'm pregnant with my third. I'm getting a lot more 'were you trying for a girl, Bet you hope it's a girl' comments this time round. It's annoying, but I guess people like to make comments.

People said the same to me, then when I actually did have a girl and then a boy, they said "you can stop now, perfect set"
When I was pregnant with my third, one of my friends actually said to me "you stupid cow, what did you go and do that for?"
Meant as a joke, apparently, because I was "wrecking perfection." It seemed to be general consensus that baby three was hoped to be a girl because my oldest is and that would round it off nicely. He's a boy. A brilliant little boy.

People are arseholes no matter what

The obsession some people have with 'one of each' is madness. Having 2 of the same sex can actually be better logistically!

@knifer oh yes you're only allowed a third if the first 2 are of the same sex. Ridiculous.

This was my way of dealing with that situation.
Give the person a very puzzled look and ask “Really? Why do say that?”
if they insist you need one of each just say
”But a healthy baby is what I’m hoping for.”

People have to say something when you tell them you're pregnant as you'd be annoyed if they just said 'that's nice' and moved on. Thing is it is really hard to think of something to say so people try and make the usual small talk. Nobody cares if your baby is a boy or girl. They really don't. Nobody cares if you have another baby at all. People are just trying to look interested when they say 'oh, maybe it'll be a girl this time and you'll have one of each and it'll be great.' Cut them some slack and don't look for ways to get offended. I'd just say it would be nice if it was a girl and also if it was a boy. What fun finding out will be!

@Ohmygoshyoudontsay but they can have a stock response like 'how lovely, have you thought of any names yet?' Why jump straight in with 'eurgh, imagine if it has a penis too, boys are awful!' which is effectively what they're saying now....

Oh God, I can't stand the inane comments people make around pregnancy and new babies. My sister has four boys and when the fourth was born one of her colleagues had the audacity to say "Oh, you must be so disappointed"! Pillock.

When I was having my 3rd son people kept asking me if he was my attempt for a girl. All our boys have their own little quirks and amazing personalities I'd never change them. We're currently expecting number 4 and just hoping we're lucky enough for this little person to get here safe and sound whatever the sex.

Unless and until you have the perfect boy-girl pair with the ideal 2.5 year age gap (18 months to 3 years broadly acceptable), you are going to get comments. Trust me! I have two boys, four years apart. I know of what I speak.😁

PS A pair of brothers is lots of fun! (I am sure one of each would be too…)

Yep annoying. It happens with either sex though. And if you have two the same and are pregnant with a third people will assume (and say) you are only doing it to get the flavour you don’t have.

It’s strange. It’s small talk more than thought talk though.

I was surprised at how many people asked if we’d consider a third, sometimes followed by “to try for a girl”. Most took one look at my face and have not asked again. Apart from my mother who seems to think DH just needs persuading. He would probably prefer a vasectomy with the kitchen scissors. We are two and done in this house.

I have 3 girls and got this a lot when I was pregnant with my 3rd. It was almost all centred around DH and how awful it would be for him if we had another girl. It was really fucking annoying!
The worst comment I got though was when my then 5yo DD2 was telling my friends mum about something. She spoke for maybe 1 minute and it was lovely to see her coming out of her shell a bit because she’d always been pretty shy but when she finished what she was saying my friend’s mum looked at me and said “you’ll be hoping the next ones a boy, they don’t talk so much”. 😒

I got this when having my boy/girl twins - "oh you're so lucky" "that's perfect you don't don't need to do it again now" "oh you've hit the twins jackpot" - I generally reply with I'm very lucky I'm pregnant at all after losing 7 babies and it shuts them right up

Sorry you’re having to put up with this 🤦🏼‍♀️ I only have one baby, a boy, but have already had comments like this about ‘next time’. Not to mention the fact I might just be happy with one, whether he’s a boy or not 🤔 When I was pregnant at the same time as a friend, I knew mine was a boy and she hadn’t found out the gender. She said she wasn’t finding out what it was in case she was disappointed if it was a boy. It turned out she did have a boy too but I’ve always thought what an insensitive comment to make 🤦🏼‍♀️ There were other friends saying ‘I’m guessing it’s a girl but I think that’s because I’m hoping it’s a girl’ as if I was sitting there with a second place prize! If there is a ‘next time’ for us I’ve sworn I’ll get to 16 weeks without telling anyone I’m pregnant so we can know the gender before that conversation even comes up! Can’t stand people making such rude comments 🤦🏼‍♀️ It’s a baby regardless of ‘what’ you get, equally as exciting and lovely whether it’s a boy or girl!

It’s so unbelievably annoying. I had so many comments like this when I was expecting ds2, and open disappointment when he was a boy. I felt so upset by it because I was very defensive of him. I was very happy to have 2 boys. We decided to have a third child and almost everyone assumed we were trying again to get a girl. In fact I actually wanted another boy and really had to wrap my head around the fact that it’s a girl this time. And predictably I’m getting loads of comments about how amazing it is that I’m finally getting a girl. And it’s annoying me because it makes me feel like my boys aren’t ideal and that having a girl is so much better.

Sorry to tell you but this will never end of you do have one of each. It just turns into:
“oh one of each! The dream..”
“Will you have anymore? You don’t need to try for a bit or a girl now!”
“aren’t you lucky to have one of each”

it’s tiresome.

It's so rude isn't it!

I had these comments on my fourth pregnancy after having three boys - no I was just happy to be pregnant and have a healthy baby (who was in fact another gorgeous boy!).

Its so annoying when people say things like this. I have 2 boys, somebody asked if we’d have another if we knew it would be a girl. I said I’d have another if I knew it would be a boy just to shut them up. In reality it struck a nerve as I’d have loved another baby but my DH doesn’t want more, and I wouldn’t have minded whether it was a girl or a boy, the same as with the first two who I love so much and feel so lucky to have x