Does anyone find the phrase 'the bump' annoying and or triggering?

[lisaneedsbraces]

Hi everyone! This is my first time posting here, but I wanted to see what other opinions are.
I am 18 weeks pregnant (with my first!) and I am a larger lady...(okay I'm overweight and I like cake! )
Does anyone (or did) feel under pressure to have a bump?
I have had countless friends/family ask me have you got a bump yet? To which my reply is always, no, I just look and feel fatter than normal. Or just generally when people are making conversation they ask 'how are you and the bump?'
Is it just me being weird and finding the word bump triggering and extremely annoying, or does anyone else feel the same?
And did anyone feel under pressure by others to look physically pregnant, as I feel embarrassed that I'm not yet!
Thanks!

'Triggering' implies Triggering traumatic memories/behaviour. What could possibly be 'triggering' about the use of the word? Why did you choose the term 'triggering' and what does it trigger for you?

I don't find the word bump triggering. First baby's can take a bit longer to show. First baby i didn't need maternity clothes till 15 weeks. Second time I couldn't fasten my trousers at 9 weeks.

What reaction does it trigger in you?

I don't follow. What past trauma or emotional issue is getting triggered?

No, this is weird.

Triggering? Seriously? (Also 17 weeks pregnant)

Took me 15 weeks plus to realise I was pregnant. Even after that I was just “thicker” for a while.

No and I hate looking pregnant so I don't want a big bump! I'm 15 weeks and have nothing yet and last pregnancy my bump was tiny. Triggering no.

I HATED my family referring to the bump when I was still in the earlier stages of pregnancy because I didn't have one. I think they just use bump because it's a word to use, and when I was in the early stages and worried about things going wrong I didn't want them to be referred to as a baby. Some people never really get a bump, even slim people so I don't think your size is a factor, although can understand why that might make you worried about not getting a bump and maybe a bit more annoyed by the use of the word?

Yanbu, it really got on my nerves.

1. Don’t comment on my body…

1. Don’t ask about gynaecological things happening inside my body…

1. My child is a developing tiny person not a frickin “bump” like some kind of blemish…

The worst is the people who just reach out and touch your lower belly as if it’s some mind of open access area, I had a male client do this, he seemed to think he was being friendly to the baby 🤢 Watch out and be better than me at stepping away fast!

Triggering in the sense I'm not what they want me to be.
I don't look pregnant.
It makes me feel anxious and that I'm already doing a bad job. I

so yes, triggering seems an appropriate word to me. A trigger can be defined as a stressor.

I didn't really get a bump because I had low PAP-A and DD was smaller than usual, that coupled with my saggy tummy left over from losing some weight meant I didn't show for about 6 months and barely looked 6 months pregnant at full term. On the other hand my very over weight friend had a really clear bump by 12 weeks.

How much you show has nothing to do with your size, it's different for everyone and there is no judgement attached to it.

Triggering seems very strong language unless there is something you aren't saying.

I don't think it's triggering, unless there's a drip feed coming.

Being obese obviously a 'bump' would take longer to show or may not even be an obvious pregnancy belly depending on your body type and shape but surely you knew that going in. It's a very generic way of talking about the pregnancy/foetus, if there's a way you'd prefer people to address it just say (be prepared for eye rolls if you want a twee cutesy name though)

They won’t all mean it literally. How are you and the bump is twee small talk, nothing more.

I know my friend who’s very overweight felt self conscious of her shape not changing in a typical way, which is what I think you’re referring to. It’s just one of those things though, we’re all different shapes and sizes, but you’re not alone and I’ve seen plenty of threads on here from bigger women worrying about when they’ll get a bump that’s noticeable.

Are you otherwise finding pregnancy okay? It can be an emotional time.

@lisaneedsbraces

Triggering in the sense I'm not what they want me to be. I don't look pregnant. It makes me feel anxious and that I'm already doing a bad job. I

so yes, triggering seems an appropriate word to me. A trigger can be defined as a stressor.

Everyone is different, all shapes and sizes. I've known women who are very obese not look pregnant even when overdue, and very thin women (I'm talking size 6 and painfully thin) either have tiny bumps or none at all and everything in between. one friend who is super thin and fit had a very lopsided bump and was so self conscious about it she rarely left the house because she didn't feel it looked 'right'. 2 who didn't even know they were pregnant until they gave birth. It's such a huge range.

There's no failure, take care of yourself and baby and don't compare yourself to anyone else. Enjoy your pregnancy, embrace your body and love yourself

I'm with you OP, I didn't think I'd feel this way but I absolutely hate that everyone I see is looking for a bump on me. It just makes me want to hide away/wear giant clothes so they can't see anything at all. I spent yesterday evening googling the best clothes to hide the bump!

I feel really conscious, I don't like to be the centre of attention at the best of times, least of all when people are scrutinising my body.

I get this OP, currently 17-18 weeks and feel under pressure to have a "bump" and some days I look pregnant and others I don't (usually depending on how much I've eaten)and then I panic I look too big for this point! So yes, At this point I get annoyed if anyone asks me anything to do with pregnancy or bumps 😂 the only person I want to talk about it with is my partner, everyone else can keep their nose out of my uterus.

You will need to grow a thicker skin or learn not to over think every comment made to you. Or kindly but firmly state you don't like talking about your pregnancy.

Could you just be upset rather than triggered though?

I am a slim person. My bump showed, but it was pretty small. In fact clinically it was small and I was monitored. People commenting on how small by bump was did upset me because the reason it was small was because I was in an abusive relationship and under a great deal of stress.
It upset me even more if people thought I was deliberately trying to grow a small baby for reasons of vanity.

The chat about small bumps, high bumps for boy/girl, ‘are you carrying two’ it’s all annoying

Sadly people have opinions around pregnancy

I kind of get what you mean - I found it irritating when people would refer to “the bump” as if it was some kind of separate entity instead of part of my body.
Weirdly my MIL used to refer to the actual baby as the bump… she’d say “how are you and bump?”.

I think generally people should keep their questions/comments/thoughts on your body to themselves.

And don’t worry bumps of all sizes are perfectly normal, especially for a first pregnancy when the muscles haven’t stretched before. I had so many (really helpful) comments about not looking pregnant etc.

Comments on your bump (large/small etc) - annoying.

"How are you and the bump?" - just a nice way of asking after your wellbeing and acknowledging you're pregnant while doing so.

There’s so much twee terminology around pregnancy that winds me up. ‘The bump’, referring to ‘baby’ minus the definite article, indeed ‘bump’ minus the definite article, calling me ‘mummy’ when I have a perfectly good given name, going on about how magical it all is, telling me to rest and put my sodding feet up… not to mention the grotesque invasion of privacy and body autonomy when people grab your stomach. I cannot bear it. Magical time, my arsehole.

@Herejustforthisone Agree. I HATED all the twee terminology. I bit anyone's head off who called me Mum and not my name. I am a person, not a vessel. See also:
Potty shot (you're just putting your child's genitals on the internet. Get the fucking blood test if you care that much)
Sticky bean (No. And I was supposed to be infertile. Still not cute)
Baby Bump (also no)
Baby Dancing (I'm an adult and I have sex)
Babymoon (it's a fucking holiday)
Mum (I have a fucking name. Fucking use it)

I'm slim and got downright skinny during pregnancy due to HG and still didn't have much of a bump because DS jammed himself into my back. I just looked fat for ages and used to HATE it whenever anyone referenced my bump or lack thereof. Didn't find it triggering, but did find it deeply irritating.

[quote allfurcoatnoknickers]@Herejustforthisone Agree. I HATED all the twee terminology. I bit anyone's head off who called me Mum and not my name. I am a person, not a vessel. See also:
Potty shot (you're just putting your child's genitals on the internet. Get the fucking blood test if you care that much)
Sticky bean (No. And I was supposed to be infertile. Still not cute)
Baby Bump (also no)
Baby Dancing (I'm an adult and I have sex)
Babymoon (it's a fucking holiday)
Mum (I have a fucking name. Fucking use it)

I'm slim and got downright skinny during pregnancy due to HG and still didn't have much of a bump because DS jammed himself into my back. I just looked fat for ages and used to HATE it whenever anyone referenced my bump or lack thereof. Didn't find it triggering, but did find it deeply irritating.[/quote]
Can't imagine being filled with that much hate over words other people use 😂

I think you just need to get to the bottom of why you’re feeling this way because it’s normal phrasing. If you’re really worried about how you will look whilst pregnant etc or about people judging your ability to parent , maybe see if there are some Facebook groups you could join that might bring some comfort.