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Original poster

Triggering things MIL say...

29 replies

motherof3bambinos · 19/03/2022 19:11

Currently 39 weeks with our third baby which MIL has been asking for the longest time and after a visit telling me to plan her 4th gc in a few years 😳 😂

What is the most shocking thing a MIL has said to you?

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Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 19/03/2022 19:14

Just after telling mil I was pregnant she waited til dh had left the room and hissed in my face that his ex had wanted his dc!!
Shwbsnubeedbds altogether when he was born. Been nc since he was 3 months.

Original poster
motherof3bambinos · 19/03/2022 19:19

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

Just after telling mil I was pregnant she waited til dh had left the room and hissed in my face that his ex had wanted his dc!! Shwbsnubeedbds altogether when he was born. Been nc since he was 3 months.
What did other half say to that...?
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Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 19/03/2022 19:41

I didn't tell him til years later. She had commented that accidents happen.. I made dh ring her later that night and tell her ds was actually planned!! I would have fumed all night if he hadn't!!

NameChange74567 · 19/03/2022 19:54

After we decided not to get our DC baptised she said, if we didn't want Jesus looking after the DC we didn't want or need her in their lives. Then she called them zombies. I've been NC with her for just over a year, best thing I've ever done.

mindfulmotherhood · 19/03/2022 23:27

@NameChange74567
Her own grandkids? Can't believe she'd call them that! Seems NC is probably the most peaceful way but try to make effort for Dh's sake but don't think he seems that bothered either way,

MissM94 · 19/03/2022 23:36

After mithering for GC for ages.. She'll only babysit GC if it doesn't interfere with her playing golf every Sunday morning 🙄

Jamboree01 · 19/03/2022 23:44

Even though she wanted grandchildren, she’s still entitled to her own life lol.

This is coming from a person who probably experienced one of the worst MILs ever to have existed (ex now thankfully).

MissM94 · 19/03/2022 23:51

@Jamboree01 I'm guessing that reply is to me? That's very true but when she straight up tells us she's too tired after working all week to baby sit on a Friday & there there's no Saturday baby sitting due to her golf on Sunday when she goes golf multiple times in the week aswell, it's a little bit shit & makes me feel like my child is a low priority 🤷🏼‍♀️

Original poster
motherof3bambinos · 19/03/2022 23:58

@MissM94

I feel you on this one, my kids don't have much of a connection with them.

What is this obsession with popping GC, is it just for banter?

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WarrickDavisAsPlates · 20/03/2022 00:03

This isn't a bad one but I was pretty shocked...

Chatting to MIL about how I'd love another baby but would have to wait as I couldn't get pregnant at that time even if I wanted to. (Meaning that as my periods hadn't returned since my last baby I physically was unable to get pregnant.)

MIL assumes that I was saying I couldn't have another baby yet as DH wouldn't want one. She then tells me that if I want another baby I should have another baby when I want and not wait for DH "after all accidents happen and he would grow to love the baby once he found out"

Of course only a few months after her suggestion that I trick DH into another child I actually did get pregnant. When we announced the pregnancy it was mentioned how we were a little surprised that we would have 2 under 2, I always wonder now if MIL thought I'd actually planned it all along.

MissM94 · 20/03/2022 00:03

@motherof3bambinos 😂😂 has to be! And the sheer entitlement of them that we owe them something 🙄🥴

Jamboree01 · 20/03/2022 00:26

[quote MissM94]@Jamboree01 I'm guessing that reply is to me? That's very true but when she straight up tells us she's too tired after working all week to baby sit on a Friday & there there's no Saturday baby sitting due to her golf on Sunday when she goes golf multiple times in the week aswell, it's a little bit shit & makes me feel like my child is a low priority 🤷🏼‍♀️ [/quote]
Can she not see your child without having to babysit?

PiesNotGuys · 20/03/2022 00:31

“Well it’s a blessing really.”ExDH’s mother, After my miscarriage at 18 weeks of pregnany, her first grandchild.

Original poster
motherof3bambinos · 20/03/2022 00:34

@PiesNotGuys

“Well it’s a blessing really.”ExDH’s mother, After my miscarriage at 18 weeks of pregnany, her first grandchild.
Wow truly sorry for that! How hurtful?! What did ds say to that? I hope he stuck up for you.
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CoffeeBeansGalore · 20/03/2022 00:37

Looking at dd2 as a newborn & saying I don't know who she looks like but it's none of mine (implying dh was not her father - he is & impossible not be as never been with anyone else). Dd2 was & still is spitting image of me!

MarmiteCoriander · 20/03/2022 00:40

In passing conversation mentions ' well, you clearly never wanted children!'

We've TTC 12yrs, 3 losses, 2 failed rounds of IVF and almost zero chance of our own children now. Her attitude is the reason we never told her anything about out struggles.

MissM94 · 20/03/2022 07:15

@Jamboree01 we live 5 minutes round the corner and she couldn't even be arsed to drop a birthday card off for her son.. she has never been to the house me and her son have lived in for 3 years.. so no, she isn't capable of seeing us OR babysitting

GrowBabyGrow · 20/03/2022 07:26

My MIL and GMIL won't stop going on about how easy pregnancy was for both of them, how GMIL didn't show and how active they could be right up to delivery. When I had really bad nausea first tri they didn't seem to believe DH and think I'm being precious when he makes sure I have a different chair at dinner because their dining chairs aggravate my pelvis and I was sore for a day after the last time I sat on it. Just because they had these perfect symptom free pregnancies the IL think that is what all pregnancies are like and anyone experiencing anything else is just soft.

Jamboree01 · 20/03/2022 10:23

[quote MissM94]@Jamboree01 we live 5 minutes round the corner and she couldn't even be arsed to drop a birthday card off for her son.. she has never been to the house me and her son have lived in for 3 years.. so no, she isn't capable of seeing us OR babysitting[/quote]
As I said l, I have experience of a terrible MIL. She didn’t come to see me when my Mum died, didn’t look after my 6 week old baby when I arranged FIL funeral, or registered his death and has been pretty vile to my children and in general. We went NC a couple of years before my divorce. If she’s not interested, she’s not interested. Go to see her, or accept her how she is and leave her to it, or go NC.

Bulbasaur90 · 20/03/2022 10:56

My MIL has no tact and tends to make everything about her. She has ASD and tends to lack the ability to hold her tongue. When I was having my son (now 10) she was vile to me about the fact that I wouldn't let her visit at the hospital, calling me vindictive and saying I was controlling her son, taking her grandson away from her. The reason I didn't allow visiting was because I knew full well she would have muscled my mum out and would have tried to pull the baby out from between my legs herself if she had half the chance!
She has said many things over the years and my husband is pretty good at telling her now that she's out of order. She doesn't tend to say as much now.

RedPinkRose · 20/03/2022 11:00

‘At least you’re not fat this time’ 8m pg with no.3.

MimiArm · 20/03/2022 12:46

"How could you not have known ... a mother would know" when I had a missed miscarriage.

Original poster
motherof3bambinos · 20/03/2022 12:53

Wow all these make MIL seem like a saint. Can't believe how hurtful some people can be just with their words and without filters.

Just hope I can be a better MiL once my sons get married without interfering in their lives.

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Chanel05 · 20/03/2022 16:22

You don't need any more children X is all you need. I couldn't love another one so it wouldn't be very fair.

MarmaladeToastAndAMarmaladeCat · 20/03/2022 18:08

Ds1 was 6 weeks old, I’d gone through a terrible birth which I nearly didn’t survive, was left with painful birth injuries and ptsd and was suffering from flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety. Mil knew all of this. She was holding Ds1 and held him up, pretended to do a baby voice and said ‘mummy I need a little brother or sister, I’m lonely!’ What the actual fuck. I was too shocked to say anything.