Navigating pregnancy after loss

[Cruz86]

Just setting this up so we can move all pregnancy-related stuff from the TTC after miscarriage thread.

@aesgriff @speake @Bridgey8 @Prayingformyrainbow93 @mrshodgy21 @Skl2021 @Ganesh2022 @HoneyLemon29 @bunnykins123 @theblueflowers

Please tag anyone else I have missed, this is as much as my brain can handle 😂

Thank you all ☺️ @aesgriff I don't remember any of these symptoms with my first so I really wouldn't worry at all!

Congratulations @LittleMrsMama!! It is really hard dealing with pregnancy after a loss but we're all here for each other 🥰

@barneymcgroo my tummy is also ridiculous already. I don't remember this with my first!!

How are you @Skl2021?

Xx

@Cruz86 A friend of mine - mum of 4 - says she ended up pretty much the same size with all, you just end up getting there much earlier. I was pretty neat with number 1, felt huge with 2 early on but still ended up neat. I'm quite tall, so a fair bit of room to store babies, as it were... And any elasticity has gone from my tummy, so the slightest pressure and whoop! I'm huge!

@aesgriff I’m not having too many symptoms pretty much exactly how you said, boobs are really sore and do get the nausea but nothing that I can imagine “morning sickness” to be? It is worrying for me too. I should be 6 weeks today but that’s dated from a chemical pregnancy so don’t know how far I would actually be? I will also get a private scan but not sure how long to wait since I don’t know the dates! How far along are you? Xx

@Cruz86 had a bad few days. Getting to that point now we're I'm fed up I feel so low and tired just a struggle to get through the day! But then I feel bad for moaning when I should be happy. My mind is in overdrive xx

@barneymcgroo 🤣🤣 too funny! How far along are you? I’ve heard nothing from the midwife team xx

@Prayingformyrainbow93 I’m 8+1 today! Furthest I’ve ever got but now I’m very anxious. I do sometimes get nausea but honestly not sure if it’s due to the progesterone I’m on. Fingers crossed we make it to 12 weeks xx

@Cruz86 I am sooooo happy for you 😀🥰 thank you it’s just hard not to! Xx

@Skl2021 stop being so hard on yourself my love. Just because you’re not finding it easy at the minute doesn’t mean you can’t moan about it ♥️ Xx

@aesgriff thankyou 💕 I just feel so guilty about moaning when I know how blessed I am for being pregnant when so many people want it. I'm just not feeling myself lately. I feel down with not being able to do anything and feeling crappy all the time. Just gets to you after a while I hope it gets easier 🤞 xx

Hi. Wondering if anyone can advise me. I'm 7 and a half weeks and just found out I have covid. I've been feeling really sick and tired and put it down to pregnancy. I'm really worried if this is a risk factor for early pregnancy. I think I'll get another scan when I am out of isolation. Would the EPU do this for me?

@aesgriff No idea - first period post baby in Oct, miscarried end of Oct, various odd bleeds between then and jan. Place your bets!

Hi @Raindrops2015 I hope you're feeling better soon! It's hard enough having covid and hard enough with the anxiety of pregnancy after a loss without both combined! I'd definitely speak to your EPU and ask them. I don't think mine would do a scan but they're all different and no harm in asking! Otherwise private is another route if you can afford it.

@Skl2021 I agree with @aesgriff , you're being really hard on yourself. Just because others may wish they could be pregnant doesn't mean you can't have days where pregnancy is hard and you're feeling low, especially when you've had a loss before. Please give yourself permission to feel how you do, and we're here when you want to talk.

I've only just found out I'm pregnant and would love to hear any thoughts on when to tell people. I waiting until after the dating scan with DD1 and planned to with my last pregnancy before miscarriage. I told my best friends about the miscarriage as needed their support but I didn't feel they understood as they weren't on the journey with me. I also told my mum because she asked when I was having another baby a few days after the MC and I just started crying. But then it feels so early to say something and I don't feel ready to hear people saying things like 'see I knew you'd get pregnant again' and 'you got the baby you wanted' etc

Oh that's good to know @barneymcgroo! I was looking at pics of my first and had a sudden worry of oh no, I'm going to be bigger than that 😂

@Skl2021 I'm not surprised you're feeling fed up! You have every right to be moaning about how hard it is. Just because we're all delicate with our pregnancies after loss doesn't mean it's all sunshine and rainbows! It seems like things are getting worse for you in the lead up to your scan. You need to look after yourself ❤️

Aww thank you @aesgriff 🥰 I'm just about to go to sleep because I've got a banging headache and I think it's an adrenaline crash from such a big day!

@Raindrops2015 sorry to hear you've got Covid 😩 I'm afraid I don't know much about the effects of it in early pregnancy, but I hope you feel better soon.

I've told only a few people, my mum, sister and one close friend. With all of them, before my scan today, I said straight away don't congratulate me because it's still early days and I'm not ready to hear that to then be told something has happened. I won't tell anyone else until 12 weeks (at least). But if you feel a pull to tell certain people, do it. They will be there to support you either way.

Xx

Sorry that last bit was to @LittleMrsMama, I'm tired 😂 x

Thanks @Cruz86 and @LittleMrsMama
I phoned my GP and he told me to ring EPU so I've left a message. Not sure what's covid and what's pregnancy but I'm like a piece of wet nauseous lettuce.

@LittleMrsMama it's good to have support by telling people but it makes me anxious when they get excited and then there's this expectation from you and you don't want to disappoint on top of all the pregnancy anxiety anyway. It's very difficult when people figure it out by your lacking of drinking and feeling so rubbish.

@LittleMrsMama thankyou 💞 just having a rough time sometimes u need to let it out that your not ok! X

@Cruz86 I thought it would be easing by now but yes seems to be ramping up! Suppoce I will panic when it stops tho 🙈 can't win! X

How is everybody? Xx

Fine thank you! Had midwife today for booking in appointment. Usual stuff. And it's finally feeling a bit spring-y here today, which is a definite mood enhancer.

How about you?

@Prayingformyrainbow93 feeling awful tbh. I feel depressed, just want to sleep all day, no motivation, waves of sickness. I think it's all the anxiety for Tuesday scan.
How're you doing? x

@Prayingformyrainbow93 fine thank you, still a nervous wreck 🤦🏻‍♀️ My parents have my daughter overnight for me tonight so I can get some rest (she doesn’t sleep through & is in with me every night) but I just want her back. Wondering if it’s normal after losses to become so attached to your living child, I cannot stand her being out my sight! How are you doing?

@aesgriff is if tomorrow you have another scan booked? Praying all is ok if it is 🙏🏼 Will be thinking of you xxx

@speake I can relate to that, my little boy can go to nursery now and I've held back filling the forms in. I just can't bare to see him go 🥺

@Raindrops2015 & @Cruz86 thank you so much you've been a huge help! I'm not ready to 'celebrate' and feel so anxious and down and I just don't think people would understand so going to leave it for now

@Raindrops2015 did the EPU get back to you about the scan? I hope they're able to do it do you

@HoneyLemon29 keeping everything crossed for you for Tuesday and hope the weekend goes quickly before then!

@speake I hope you got some rest! I am exactly the same with DD, I've been holding her that bit more tightly and don't want anything to happen to her.

My cycles were so messed up after the MC (AF was early and only 2 days) I have no idea how far along I am apart from knowing the 5 day window we DTD a few times. I want to get a private scan as early as possible but equally don't want to be turned away if they can't see anything!

@barneymcgroo Doesn’t the sunshine make everything seem a little bit nicer! It’s been lovely here too! Hope it continues throughout the weekend 😊

@HoneyLemon29 sorry you’re feeling down, the nerves will definitely be playing a part so hopefully after your scan on Tuesday you’ll be feeling a little bit more positive! Got everything crossed that it all goes well, keep us updated 😘 although not pleasant, the sickness waves are positive! I haven’t had too much feeling of sickness, I think we will over analyse everything regardless! I’m still trying to blank it all out, at least until I can get a private scan to confirm!

@speake I don’t have any children so can’t relate but I can 100% imagine that this happens to most existing and expecting parents who have experienced loss! Don’t beat yourself up lovely, I hope you managed to get a good rest! And I’m sure your little girl has had fun playing with her grandparents, maybe they will have tired her out so she will sleep for you tonight 🤞🏼

I’ve taken a CBD today, been scared to take it but I got a 3+ so I do feel a slight bit of relief. With our 1st pregnancy loss at 7 weeks we never actually got a 3+ And the second we lost only a week after finding out! I’m around 6 weeks so I knew I should get it, but why do we look for every bit of reassurance 🤦🏽‍♀️ Hope everyone has a lovely weekend xx

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. I'm trying to ignore my anxiety and enjoy the sunshine... 12 weeks today. Feels like a little milestone. Just hope they are ok in there! Xxx

Eeek it is a real milestone! Amazing congratulations @Bridgey8 have a lovely weekend xx

Thank you @Prayingformyrainbow93

The waves of nausea have turned into me heading to the toilet this morning 😮‍💨 none of my prev healthy pregnancies have made me sick before so now I'm over analysing that and thinking what if it's a Molar and my HCG is through the roof doing this 😰 x

@Bridgey8 amazing you're at the 12 week mark 💕🌈

Sorry some of you are feeling so anxious and rough but I totally get it my nerves are shot 😬

I'm 15dpo today 4+2 going from O and got a lovely dark FRER this morning I cried my eyes out 🙈 how daft!