Feeling broken after miscarriage

[TenBees]

It's been 2 weeks since I miscarried, and I don't seem to be getting any better emotionally. I went from so excited and hopeful, to completely destroyed. I know it's wrong, but I keep admonishing myself and saying I shouldn't be this worked up about it because I was "only 7 weeks along", but I can't stop crying. Or if I have a day where I'm not crying, it's because I'm completely empty and can't feel anything.

I have a support network. My mum had a miscarriage before me, my aunt had 2 miscarriages before my 2 cousins. It's not hush hush. But my DH, who also isn't fine, just can't get it. He says that his heart breaks everytime I hears me cry, and that he can't do anything to fix it, but realistically, he can't feel the same as me because he wasn't the one cramping and bleeding and having an ultrasound probe shoved up him. He wasn't the one feeling the changes to my body, and then the changes back to "normal".

I just want to know if it's going to stop feeling like this. I'm terrified to start trying again, but I want to, and that's one of the worst parts.

@TenBees I am so sorry, sending you a big hug.

I've been there. It's horrible, the sadness is so heavy. It does ease though, ever so slightly as the days go on. I wouldn't have believed you if you'd told me that at the time, I felt so consumed with this overwhelming sadness and disappointment. It took over every thought in my head.

But I'm a few months on now and feeling in a better place. Hoping to start trying again soon.

I did the same, and felt silly for being so upset when I was "only" 7 weeks. It's horrible isn't it, the way we belittle our own experiences.

I started counselling sessions, and it was a big help. I just felt like I needed someone totally impartial to speak with. I would definitely recommend. It feels reassuring to know I'll have that support there to fall back on should it ever happen again.

I know not much can help right now. I look back on those first few weeks and they were such a blur. But just know there's a community of us here, who understand, and are sending you big virtual hugs xx

Adding to the suggestions of help, I found the books and social media of Zoe Clark-Coates truly invaluable. She just totally ‘gets it’.

Really sorry for your loss OP. I know the pain all to well myself, and I truly understand the devastation. It won’t always be this raw and all consuming I promise.

It won’t always be this raw and all consuming I promise.

This. I'm so sorry for how you're feeling now (but not surprised - two weeks is nothing!), but I hope that for you, as it did for me, the pain will ease. I'm currently underneath a sleeping newborn - I wish the same for you as soon as you're ready. Be kind to yourself

It won’t always be this raw and all consuming I promise.

This. It will take time lovely. Keep talking

I'm so sorry OP. This was me and it was the worst thing I have ever been through. Two weeks is so soon and raw, at that point I was still spending most of the days in bed, mostly crying.

I never thought the pain would end.

I became pregnant quickly again (each day not being pregnant felt so hard, that's how it was for me personally). I think that's the only thing that refocused my thoughts. Pregnancy after miscarriage has been difficult and I've been so anxious, but I'm almost half way now and all is going well.

At the time, I read something on here about this being so painful just now but the pain will ease, when you have your children.

I am so sorry you are going through this just now. In my experience it was just horrific too, the loss is still there but the pain has dulled with time.

@showmethegin thanks for the details of the podcasts, I will have a listen to them x x