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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnancy announcement, sad about colleagues reactions

53 replies

AnOverthinkerr · 17/02/2022 21:58

Or lack of! I've been signed off work with hg for months, I imagine most of them spoke between themselves and are aware that's why I've been off. I've not had any messages which I tried not to get upset about as I'm not at work maybe they didn't want to reach out, ok. I put a picture up on Facebook a couple of days ago however announcing the pregnancy now I'm half way and not a single person from work has so much as liked it, let alone commented or sent a message. My sickness has started to subside these last couple of weeks and I was hoping to go back to work in a week or so if it carries on getting better, but now I just feel really anxious about it, like all of my colleagues either don't like me that much or are annoyed about how much time I've missed. I feel so scared at the thought of going back now. Am I overthinking it or would it upset you to have every single person you work with ignore such a thing. I just feel like it can't be a coincidence

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Cheekypeach · 17/02/2022 22:02

How close are you to your colleagues? Do you meet outside work? Are they your friends?

allfurcoatnoknickers · 17/02/2022 22:04

They might have been told not to contact you by HR if you were signed off sick. That's what I would assume.

Shmithecat2 · 17/02/2022 22:04

With respect, a) your absence might have created more work for them and b) why do you expect anyone to celebrate your lifestyle choices? I never 'announced' my pregnancy to anyone other than family and close friends. Because I didn't expect anyone else to give it shit.

thebigpurpleone · 17/02/2022 22:05

I wouldn't contact a colleague signed off.

Cheekypeach · 17/02/2022 22:06

@Shmithecat2

Oooooh the race to the bottom begins. 🚣‍♂️

Pebbledashery · 17/02/2022 22:07

I'm not sure what you expect op, these are work colleagues not friends.

Shmithecat2 · 17/02/2022 22:08

@Cheekypeach

No race to the bottom. Just pointing out that no one is obliged to celebrate anyone else's pregnancy

Cheekypeach · 17/02/2022 22:09

[quote Shmithecat2]@Cheekypeach

No race to the bottom. Just pointing out that no one is obliged to celebrate anyone else's pregnancy [/quote]
Of course not but a general ‘congratulations’ is good manners, no? Not obligatory obviously, but a nice courtesy.

Original poster

AnOverthinkerr · 17/02/2022 22:12

Yes I get why they might not of messaged these last few months, but it's just the sort of thing you'd expect atleast a 'like' on. It does sound juvenile but it is what people do these days. I don't know many people that didn't put the news of their pregnancy online. It wasn't some big status or anything saying I formally announce, it was just a picture. I think it's the fact not a single person from the entire office has liked it, it makes it sort of seem like it's not a coincidence and it's just making me feel really anxious about returning. I'm not close friends with my colleagues but we've always been friendly and they added me on Facebook I assume because they had some interest in me/my life so I guess I just feel a bit like somethings going on. I feel like I'm back in school and everyone hates me or something!

OP posts:

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 17/02/2022 22:14

First, congratulations.
It's a bit sad that they haven't liked or commented, but I wouldn't think it's because they're not happy for you. Some people don't interact on social media at all and just use it to be nosey (dh)

Are they the type of fb friends who like statuses/pictures?
Do you socialise outside of work?
Have you had any contact at all while off? Some companies advise leaving people who are signed off alone.

Haudyourwheesht · 17/02/2022 22:16

why do you expect anyone to celebrate your lifestyle choices?

Because it's a nice thing to do? In some customs one celebrates others' marriages, promotions, pregnancy and births, etc. It's a nice idea.

Regularsizedrudy · 17/02/2022 22:17

I think you are over thinking it. I’m sure they are very happy for you but just didn’t want to be seen as bothering you when you were unwell.

SeasonFinale · 17/02/2022 22:19

If they were told that you have been off work on long term sick they may be surprised that you are pregnant!

InTheNightWeWillWish · 17/02/2022 22:22

I wouldn’t contact a colleague that had been signed off, even the colleague that I contact occasionally outside of work. They’ve been signed off, they need to rest and not think about work.

If I was close colleagues, I’d appreciate someone telling me in person before posting on social media. If we weren’t close, I’d give it a like out of politeness and move on. I would guess they either expected a personal announcement or aren’t that polite.

Yes, they’re probably pissed that your absence created more work for them but you were sick and there’s not much you could do about it. It doesn’t matter if your work colleagues don’t like you, they’re work colleagues. Plus you’ll be on maternity leave in a few months. Them not liking a FB post of your pregnancy announcement isn’t a reason to be scared to go back into the office. I didn’t announce my pregnancy but I posted a picture of baby at Christmas. None of my work colleagues liked the picture and that’s fine, I don’t need them to be excited about the baby because I am and my friends and family are. My colleagues were polite enough in the office and those with older teens/adult children had a brief misty eyed moment wanting to do it all again but they weren’t actually invested in my pregnancy just reflecting back on their own experience.

MiddleParking · 17/02/2022 22:23

@Shmithecat2

Really? That’s hard to imagine because you sound so lovely.

MissBPotter · 17/02/2022 22:24

I never announced any of my pregnancies online either. You seem very anxious to get likes - that’s understandable but maybe you need to think about why?

They may be a little upset that they’ve had to pick up the slack. However, it’s not your fault and with HG you must’ve been really unwell so I wouldn’t feel bad, just hold your head up high and style it out when you go back! Really their opinion doesn’t matter at all. I’m sure they will congratulate when baby arrives.

joydivisionovengloves71 · 17/02/2022 22:25

Do they usually like your posts? I have lots of 'friends' but hide the posts of the majority of them, maybe they haven't seen it

Original poster

AnOverthinkerr · 17/02/2022 22:29

It's nothing to do with the amount of likes at all, I don't expect every person from every area of my life to see and to like it and I wouldn't care. It's the fact that it's every single person from the entire office that hasn't liked it, not one. It just makes me feel like I've been spoke about and not in a good way. I do overthink though so I'll take that. It was just a bit odd and made me feel weird.

OP posts:

holibobs12 · 17/02/2022 22:33

As soon as people read Facebook tell right you off as some attention seeking, validating whatever

But it completely makes sense that people would drop a like if they saw the post, I'd also be worried they didn't like me etc

It's a bit of a downer when your so excited. I don't care about strangers pregnancies, but someone I know, of course

holibobs12 · 17/02/2022 22:34

They'll... write 😬

TerribleCustomerCervix · 17/02/2022 22:35

I think the days of regular people getting 200+ likes on a Facebook announcement are gone for the most part. It’s not used as much as it once was, and the way that content for your timeline is organised now means you’re more likely to see targeted ads or random buzzfeed articles. There’s every chance not all of them actually saw it.

PurpleDaisies · 17/02/2022 22:41

Was it a scan picture? Lots of people aren’t fans of those.

I wouldn’t judge them by their social media liking or not liking your post. Go with how they are with you in real life. You really are overthinking this.

WashableVelvet · 17/02/2022 22:45

Congrats. In my workplace I wouldn’t dream of contacting someone who was off sick, not even a like, unless I was very sure I knew them very well outside of work too eg from before we worked together.

SummerInSun · 17/02/2022 23:03

You are overthinking this. I absolutely guarantee that when you are back there in person people will say congratulations, especially if you mention first that you are pregnant. People are very unsure what they should/shouldn't say these days (especially men) and particularly if you are singed off sick people will have been very cautious. For example they may not have wanted to make a big fuss if they thought the fact you were off for so long meant you were at risk of losing the baby.

Here's my suggestion. You go back. Colleague says "hi, how are you?" You say "feeling much better, thanks, and really excited about baby's arrival in August" (or whenever).Colleague will then know they have permission to say "Congratulations, that's great news".

AfterSchoolWorry · 17/02/2022 23:08

I don't think people use Facebook much any more. They probably don't check it!!

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