Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnancy after miscarriage is.....

50 replies

EllieJai44 · 16/02/2022 19:20

Pregnancy after miscarriage is checking your knickers or TP every bathroom trip.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is wearing only light coloured knickers so you can see any sign of bleeding.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is testing a tonne to make sure those lines get darker.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is worrying about every little twinge or cramp.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is waiting for the first weeks to pass but they are going so slowly.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is spending every day wondering if everything is okay and it taking over every thought.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is not allowing yourself to be happy or even look at baby items.

Pregnancy after miscarriage seems lonely and you think people will think you're crazy.....but you're not alone, there are thousands of women in the same boat! So I'd like to start this thread as a honest, no judgement area for your worries in your pregnancy....wether you're 4 weeks or 40 weeks, you know the whole Pregnancy will be spent wondering when it will go wrong!

Post away ladies! Flowers

OP posts:
Gardenerboo · 16/02/2022 19:24

Pregnancy after miscarriage is never being able to relax.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is buying NOTHING until the baby is here.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is joyless.

Butterscotchbaby · 16/02/2022 20:12

I feel like my MMC had taken away the joy from my pregnancy- the thought of going to that 1st scan to be told that there is no heartbeat just fills me with such anxiety ! I'm trying to remain positive and not over think every little pain but its so hard ! I envy the women that have had straightforward pregnancies I really do xx

Skybooks · 16/02/2022 20:15

Pregnancy after miscarriage is terrifying.

My baby arrived just over a week ago and even in labour I was convinced something was going wrong.

I feel like I was too scared to enjoy it even acknowledge my pregnancy for so long that I wasted it.

Good luck to everyone in this thread, it's tough.

Graphista · 16/02/2022 20:25

Pregnancy after miscarriage is adhering to the rules around food, drink etc fastidiously

Pregnancy after miscarriage is being afraid to exercise vigorously

Pregnancy after miscarriage is being afraid to have sex during pregnancy

Pregnancy after miscarriage is not telling people you're pregnant until you can no longer physically hide it...

Except your boss in case anything happens at work

Pregnancy after miscarriage is not only not buying anything yourself but also not letting anyone else buy anything

Pregnancy after miscarriage is not even discussing baby names until at least the 3rd trimester - or on the labour ward in my case

Pregnancy after miscarriage is only slightly relaxing when you rescue viability stage

Pregnancy after miscarriage is not caring that you feel lousy with morning sickness/headaches/swelling etc cos it means you're still pregnant!

Pregnancy after miscarriage is not caring about being bored rigid when put on complete bedrest (and this was back when internet was barely a thing! Certainly no smart phones or anything) cos all you're worried about is keeping that baby in there!

Pregnancy after miscarriage is still not totally relaxing even when baby is born, toddling, walking...an adult!

We get better at coping with it but it never leaves us. My last mc was nearly 23 years ago. Still with me every day and especially on anniversaries

Thanks to all in the same club none of us want to be in

To those for whom it is much more recent and raw my heart goes out to you.

Original poster
EllieJai44 · 16/02/2022 21:00

@Graphista yes the not having sex is a huge one! As is the wanting every symptom because logically you know it means you're pregnant, and worrying so hard when a symptom dwindles!

Also pregnancy after miscarriage is not having a bath above lukewarm just in fear it causes harm!

OP posts:
Simone22 · 16/02/2022 21:21

Pregnancy after miscarriage is terrifying, secretive and emotional, the joy has been stolen and replaced with overwhelming anxiety 🤍

BorderlineBob · 16/02/2022 21:30

Pregnancy after miscarriage is terrifying.
It is actively trying not to get excited for fear of something going wrong.

For me, pregnancy after miscarriage also led to PPA… I was utterly terrified that my baby was going to die the whole way through pregnancy and labour. And unfortunately that feeling didn’t go away after birth.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is bravery.

DiamondSnow · 16/02/2022 21:31

Pregnancy after miscarriage is days and weeks spent fearing your next scan. Relief for a couple of hours and then back to fear of the next one.

Graphista · 16/02/2022 22:27

Op I kept bleeding throughout my pregnancy with dd and it was worse on the 2 occasions we tried full sex, ultimately we neither of us wanted to try again as it was just too scary

And yes to the hating when symptoms disappeared

Pregnancy after miscarriage is bravery.

Thank you for this - yes it is!

I have ocd. It MASSIVELY ramped up after having dd and has never really gone back down. She is 21 and I STILL worry so much and she doesn't even live at home now!

Original poster
EllieJai44 · 16/02/2022 22:54

@DiamondSnow this one is my biggest downfall! I getbso anxious for those scans and then for an hour maximum I have some relief, all for it to come flooding back!

I actually have a scan next Tuesday and I'm dreading it!

OP posts:
Lilybow · 16/02/2022 23:18

Pregnancy after miscarriage comes with such high and conflicting emotions.
I'm excited and terrified. I also feel incredibly guilty when I don't enjoy parts of pregnancy as at the same time I'm so grateful.

Pregnancy is hard!

CLP86 · 17/02/2022 11:34

Pregnancy after miscarriage is an awful mix of allowing yourself to get a little bit excited and then fear that if you relax, plan or feel that excitement that it'll all be taken away.

Pregnancy is obsessively googling even twinge, cramp, symptom (or lack of!)

Mugcake · 17/02/2022 13:22

Pregnancy after miscarriage is having panic attacks before scans because you're so convinced this time you'll be told there's no heart beat

It's endlessly googled statistics and reading others stories

It's a relentless fear that if you let yourself get excited for even a second you'll jinx it

It's not being able to concentrate on anything else

It's panicking any time the baby doesn't kick for an hour or so

It's exhausting

Littlegoth · 17/02/2022 13:29

All of this.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is worth the fear, the uncertainty, the risk.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is spent hopefully counting down the days, every day, until due date.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is feeling robbed of the excitement that we should feel.

I still feel extremely complicated emotions when I reflect on my last pregnancy (successful after 3 miscarriages). I usually cry.

SunAndSea37 · 17/02/2022 17:18

Thank you for this very touching thread.

I tested positive on Monday. It’s my third pregnancy in 9 months. For me it’s:

Counting down the literal hours it has surpassed my last pregnancy

Squishing my boob five times a day to check it still hurts (then realising I’m in a meeting!)

Imaging every social engagement in the next few weeks and wondering if I’ll still be pregnant or miscarrying

Not daring to hope that I could have a baby this Christmas ❤️

The time is passing soooo slowly and I have no idea how I’m going to get through the next week, let alone beyond.

Lijay1 · 17/02/2022 21:08

Pregnancy after miscarriage is starting every discussion with IF.
IF this one is successful....
IF it happens again....
Won't let myself believe it yet.

itsfreeeeeeezing1234 · 17/02/2022 22:00

Following

20viona · 18/02/2022 07:29

Pregnancy after miscarriage is totally not exciting. I just don't feel any excitement whatsoever which is upsetting me as I was so excited when pregnant with my daughter who's now 2.

SunAndSea37 · 18/02/2022 08:19

@20viona yes that’s really sad isn’t it. It’s my first pregnancy (well third but no DC) and the loss of innocence about it all working out is hard.

I have to share this here (because I can’t tell anyone obvs!), my early scan to confirm viability just got booked, for the same date our first loss would have been due, and the same day of my mum’s scan to confirm her stage 4 cancer treatment is working. Can’t decide if it’s a sign or I’ll just expire of anxiety!!

Original poster
EllieJai44 · 18/02/2022 08:23

@SunAndSea37 congratulations and I hope you'll be holding that baby at Christmas! Flowers

I'm due September and everyday I tell myself one day closer to 12 weeks, then I realise that won't make any difference, I'll still worry just as much to the next milestone- 16 weeks for a gender scan, 20 weeks for the anatomy scan, 24 weeks for viability.....just never ending!

OP posts:
Original poster
EllieJai44 · 18/02/2022 08:24

@Lijay1 exactly this! My mum knows and she sent me a next to me cot that was in the sale- my replie back to her was "if this baby sticks around I'll look at stuff when we pass 20-24 weeks"

OP posts:
Rachae · 18/02/2022 08:24

Pregnancy after miscarriage is improving with time, weekly private scans and that hope that we never let go of.

(18 weeks today after 4 miscarriages. Hang on in there and the time will come eventually Xxx )

Original poster
EllieJai44 · 18/02/2022 08:26

@SunAndSea37 just seen you're second post and I'm sorry about your mum :(

OP posts:
CurbsideProphet · 18/02/2022 08:59

Utterly terrifying 😔
I'm only 5 weeks and so nervy.

SunAndSea37 · 18/02/2022 10:30

@Rachae that’s a huge milestone, congratulations and so sorry for your losses

@EllieJai44 oh thank you! Her treatment is going well so far thankfully but the scan days are insanely stressful, I can’t believe they’ve fallen on the same day! When is your 12 week scan?