Someone shake some sense into me please?!!

[thechocolatefrog]

Hi everyone,

Me again. I've chickened out again :(
Decided this is the month to ttc and I'm fertile from tomorrow according to my app.

I'm so so scared of potentially being sick it's driving me nuts. Currently 2am and I'm lying here going out my mind.

I'm scared of being sick or feeling sick at work as I suffer from extreme anxiety at work as it is and I'm just worried I'm not mentally strong enough. I can cope with nausea at home.

In my head it is now or never due to my age and the fact that the potential for morning sickness is NEVER going to go away. I'm waiting for a miracle cure and the impossible for all morning sickness to not even exist anymore. Arghh.

I've bought all my vitamins (vitamin d, b6, folic acid) and have upped my magnesium intake through my diet in a way of attempting to build up my resilience to any morning sickness. Now I'm just staring at them waiting for the courage to do this.

Please can somebody give me a real good shake and talk some sense into me. I want this so so bad it's all I think about. I don't think conceiving is going to come particularly easily due to endometriosis which is also worrying me. Please please someone talk some sense into me to give me the courage to at least try :(

I appreciate this is a really moany post, I just don't know where to turn as I have nobody to speak to about this.

Op I'm not sick at all. Neither of my pregnancies either. I don't even feel sick. I just feel tired!!

@BabyOnBoard90

Oh how I wish this was nerves over a bit of sickness.

It hurts me that you put this comment on every post I make, especially when you've also commented on the post where I have stressed my infertility fears regarding my endometriosis and complications I have recently had.

I completely appreciate that women suffering with infertility might view this post as me being selfish/dramatic/downright pathetic. Trust me I torture myself with those feelings too!

My phobia controls my entire life, every single second of the day. I haven't had one day in 30 years where I haven't been paralysed by my phobia. My phobia isn't just regarding pregnancy. It controls every aspect of my life from eating, work, friends, going out of the house, holidays etc. My life is extremely limited because I have struggled to find any way to get past this. I've wanted children for over 10 years and every single day I've told myself that I can't even try because of the phobia. I desperately, desperately want a child. If I had a choice of being rich/famous/whatever I wanted or for this phobia to be gone - I'd choose the phobia without question.
The amount of nights I've spent crying to my husband about what a failure I am because I'm scared of being or feeling bloody sick! So please don't try and hurt me with comments like that. This isn't a pity me response either - I post on Mumsnet because 95% of the responses I get genuinely help me. I have never met another emetophobe in real life. In my head I'm the only one in the world! So coming here and finding so many people who understand and get it completely is invaluable.

I appreciate emetophobia is a really difficult phobia for non-sufferers to understand, but trust me this isn't a worry about maybe feeling or being sick.

[quote Aubyone]**@BabyOnBoard90* please don't belittle her, she had a very real phobia that if she isn't able to cope with, will prevent her having children. She also has fertility fears with endometriosis. I completely* get that fear of infertility is not the same as actually years of infertility and those fears should be expressed sensitively. But its very clear from OP's posts that she has severe emetophobia - she's not just wanting to avoid a bit of 'sickness', she's paralysed by fear, it gives her panic attacks and has so far preventing her from trying.

Infertility is deeply painful, but so too is this.[/quote]
It's not belittling. Just a fact.

Something seems terribly difficult, until you're told you can't have it

Just wanted to update everyone..we are officially ttc.
After years and years I've finally started! Not feeling too anxious at all atm either, obviously not expecting this journey to be quick or easy but I've taken the first (and biggest) step forward.

Thank you all for the push I so desperately needed! X

congrats and good luck!

Hi OP, you sound exactly like me with emetophobia. I have let it control me my whole life and I too put off having a family because I was scared of sickness amongst other things. I'm 31 now.

I hate flying on planes because I'm scared of turbulence because it will make me feel sick, I don't over eat, I have stopped being able to drink much alcohol, I don't like long car rides, I don't like roller coasters, I don't like boats (I do but I'm scared I'll feel seasick) the list goes on and on!

I just wanted to let you know I am currently 6 weeks pregnant after finally deciding to take control and start a family regardless of my fears. So far I have had no sickness at all. I have felt mild nausea when hungry or have indigestion but really I think that has been down to my anxiety. I'm expecting to feel sick because that's what we hear women experience so my mind and body is creating this feeling. Anyway the point I am making is you won't know how you'll feel until you actually get pregnant and I haven't felt sick or been sick yet. I know it's still early but I'm half way through the first trimester and so far so good!

Hope this helps x

@HRHXO

Exactly. Every single thing you've listed there is exactly what I do!!! And the list really does go on!!

Have you been taking or been prescribed any antiemetics or are you just seeing how you go?

Thank you so much. Xx

Just read your thread.
I’m glad you decided to face your fears and go for it!
I have a phobia of being sick. It’s really impacted my life. The feeling of being sick brings on panic attacks for me and it makes everything so much worse.
It put me off getting pregnant but I’m currently 31 weeks! I didn’t feel sick until I hit week 9 but I must admit it didn’t feel anything like I expected it to.
It didn’t bring the normal panic j usually feel. I wasn’t massively sick and it passed fairly quickly.
I was told by my midwife to not go too long before meals. To snack regularly and try to eat something as soon as I woke up- like a ginger biscuit and I must say all that helped.
Even if you’re unlucky and do get quite sick, there’s things you can take, from midwife, thag can make you feel better.
Best of luck ttc!

@Hiddenvoice

It's amazing how many of us there are out there with this phobia!

I also can feel a slight, slight twinge of nausea/indigestion/any form of feeling 'off' and I completely spiral into a panic attack! Yet no matter how many times I actually end up not being sick (100% so far) I never seem to learn from the panic attack that the perceived danger isn't there.

Congratulations on your pregnancy 🥰🥰 xx

@BabyOnBoard90

I'm have read your comments and I am so sorry if you have suffered infertility, I can only imagine how painful that is / must have been for you. However, I am surprised that, if you know the mental anguish it seems you do, have no compassion for others and their struggles, which, although different from yours, are just as real and painful.

I am also a sufferer of emetophobia and such a phobia, one where you fear your own body and cannot escape / get respite, is extremely debilitating in every aspect - as OP said, from eating, going out, holidaying, having children etc...

I truly find it upsetting that you say you think you're stating facts when it comes to "wishing" for sickness. Whilst I get the sentiment and your thought process, it's born out of ignorance and bigotry. You allude to your own struggles and I'm sure would be awfully offended if someone belittled your struggles - so why do the same?

I truly hope everything works out for you but also think if you can't stop yourself from being bitter and angry at the world then you shouldn't comment, or at least educate yourself before you do.

OP - my inbox is open at anytime. I completely understand you and know how much courage it takes to TTC. xx

[quote NinaJames]@BabyOnBoard90

I'm have read your comments and I am so sorry if you have suffered infertility, I can only imagine how painful that is / must have been for you. However, I am surprised that, if you know the mental anguish it seems you do, have no compassion for others and their struggles, which, although different from yours, are just as real and painful.

I am also a sufferer of emetophobia and such a phobia, one where you fear your own body and cannot escape / get respite, is extremely debilitating in every aspect - as OP said, from eating, going out, holidaying, having children etc...

I truly find it upsetting that you say you think you're stating facts when it comes to "wishing" for sickness. Whilst I get the sentiment and your thought process, it's born out of ignorance and bigotry. You allude to your own struggles and I'm sure would be awfully offended if someone belittled your struggles - so why do the same?

I truly hope everything works out for you but also think if you can't stop yourself from being bitter and angry at the world then you shouldn't comment, or at least educate yourself before you do.

OP - my inbox is open at anytime. I completely understand you and know how much courage it takes to TTC. xx
[/quote]
I'm certainly not seeking pity and not sure why you would presume I have fertility issues (none of your business, though quite opposite). I just posed a potential reality in which OP would deprioritise her fears.

I've seen your PM; I hope you don't harass everyone who makes a post you don't like. This is an online forum full of strangers, not utopia.

It sounds like you are in a difficult position @thechocolatefrog. I am on baby #3 and never been sick with any of them. So don't focus on that aspect as it may not even happen to you. Also as others have said if there are anti sickness medications you can take then surely your therapist can understand in these circumstances, if it eases your worries during pregnancy so you can start a family.. surely that's a very good reason to take them?! Good luck on your pregnancy journey x

Hey @thechocolatefrog 🙋🏻‍♀️
I read your post, and just wanted to say - please do not be put off TTC purely because of the potential chance of being sick.
I was never sick, or even nauseous, and a few of my friends were the same! It’s not a rule that pregnant = sick. Some people do experience some nausea but are never actually sick/puking.
I hope this gives you some reassurance! Good luck!

@thechocolatefrog - hey! I suffer from emetaphobia and my baby has just turned 2 months old.

I've seen so many therapists and all sorts as I was terrified too. I did get sickness in the evenings but was never actually sick it wasn't fun but honestly it's so worth it!

I also had to have an emergency c section and I was more scared of being sick from it than actually having the surgery!! But just make sure you tell everyone you come across and they will be able to help you.

I was so scared that my fear would ruin my life having a baby but so far having a baby has taken my mind off it so much and I'm currently 2 months into not having a panic attack about my fear!

Best of luck! Xxx

Good luck OP! Do you know if your mum ever had morning sickness? Mine didn’t and neither did I. The only thing I had that was even close to nausea was a feeling like when you get so hungry you feel hollow and a bit odd. Low blood sugar I think. But it never made me nauseous. I just had to eat quickly and it went. Fingers and toes crossed for you!

@Snoopy28x

Yes I have decided I will be getting anti emetics regardless even if they just give a placebo affect!

The more I read from people it actually seems that being sick is the minority rather than majority! X

@Danani

Thank you. I am now finding more and more people who haven't suffered with morning sickness! Due to the media/online/general 'knowledge' everybody seems to mention morning sickness as standard in pregnancy but it is seemingly not the case!

Let's hope if I do get pregnant that I'll be one of the lucky ones ☺️ x

@LouLou0505

Thank you for responding.
So pleased for you that you've managed pregnancy!

What types of therapy have you had out of interest? I've been seeing a therapist on and off for years and years. I have made some progress but nowhere near the amount I need to. I do know that this is a long, slow process though.

Xx

@Pamparam

Nope mum had no morning sickness at all. Ive discussed with this her and she has mentioned never even feeling sick at all and loving her pregnancies!

In my head I expect the nausea to feel like extreme stomach bug (not that I'd know what that feels like!) that just does not stop. Xx

I've not been sick with either of mine. I've felt a bit nauseous but not like I would be sick - it's always been more that kind of dull hangover feeling you get the next day, just a bit queasy and off and tired. Definitely nothing like the Norovirus that I got when 10 weeks pregnant this time round, thanks to DD bringing it home from nursery!

@thechocolatefrog - I went through hypnotherapy, multiple medications and multiple CBT therapy. Hypnotherapy did nothing for me sadly, CBT helped a bit but for me when I get an attack the only think that works is meditation 🤷🏻‍♀️

I believe it is the worst phobia to have because it tries to consume you. I haven't actually been sick since I was like 8 so pregnancy was scary for me but I learnt how to get through it and I lived off lemon water 😂

My mum never got sick with me or my brother so that must have filtered down to me.

The scary thing for me now is I know with having a baby and once he goes to nursery it's a given the sickness bug will make it's way to us and I am terrified but I do know I'll get through it and hopefully once I've had it, I'll get over my fear! I do think exposure therapy might be the answer for me sadly! Xx

Yes I think it's one of those things that people associate with pregnancy, when actually it's not a guaranteed symptom. I get all sorts of other weird and wonderful symptoms instead.

Good luck! Keep us posted, I'd love to hear how it goes for you xx

Hi everyone,

So I've been ttc this month - then today I've had a bit of blood like spotting.. period isn't due until next week so it isn't pre period blood

I've now gone into overdrive panicking that I am actually pregnant and how will I cope with the potential sickness. Im in such a state I just keep crying. Im so so angry at myself for feeling like this so please don't judge me, im just so so scared of being sick.

I know it’s easy to say but please don’t panic. Wait a few days and take a test to see what it says.

You are strong and can do it! I panicked so much at the thought of being sick that it put me off getting pregnant for years. When I finally found out I was pregnant I panicked to which just made me feel unwell.
I have panic attacks when k feel sick.
The first lot of morning sickness made me worry and I was shaky.
Once it had passed j realised it was no where near as bad as a normal feeling sick. I also wasn’t sick that much and could tell when it was going to happen. Sickness for me also didn’t hit until I was 8 weeks!

You can get through this! Take it one step at a time. If you’re pregnant then amazing news! You can speak to a gp and tell them about how you are feeling.

Oh no, please don’t panic. I know it’s much easier said than done but try to take each day by day.
Just another person to add that I was never sick at all in my pregnancy. Movies etc make it look like it will be awful and whilst I don’t have any chronic fear I was worried about sickness too, and it was never a problem.