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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Gender mix up nhs

63 replies

Mamascone · 06/02/2022 10:38

I am currently 33 weeks pregnant, I already have a 5 year old DS and we decided to find out the gender at 20 weeks anomaly scan, we were told girl and absolutely over the moon as we were really hoping for a little girl. We then had to have another scan at 22 weeks as the baby had their hands over the face so all the checks couldn't be done and a (different) sonographer told us again definitely a girl.
Fast forward 3 months and we had to have a growth scan as she was measuring a little big... To be told that we were in fact definitely having a boy (couldn't hide from that fact 😂). Has this happened to anyone else? We've been so upset, trying not to be and to embrace the positives that he's a healthy little boy but we'd had lots of lovely girls clothes gifted to us and I'd really bonded with my baby girl in my mind. Has this happened to anyone else?

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Trinacham · 06/02/2022 10:41

I don't know the details on which scan and for how long they thought it but it did happen to my sister. She already had a DD and they were told that the second was a boy, only to find out later that she was a girl! More unusual for them to get it wrong that way round aswell!

WallaceinAnderland · 06/02/2022 10:43

Yes this happens a lot. Did they not tell you it's never 100% certain?

grey12 · 06/02/2022 10:50

We were told it was a boy and then it was a girl. So I've been through that. I know people just don't understand....

You need to take some time to grieve your girl. Even just a couple of days. And then start fresh again with your lovely boy Smile

I've always daydreamed a lot! So of course I daydreamed my boy's whole life Hmm it felt like my baby had died and I was suddenly miraculously pregnant with a new one

LawnFever · 06/02/2022 10:52

This happens all the time, just be happy you have a healthy baby on the way.

Baby clothes are baby clothes aren’t they?

grey12 · 06/02/2022 10:53

I remember the drive back from the hospital..... my mum saying how lovely it was to have a girl! And I just wanted to run away and cry! Sad and she's such a chatterbox Confused it was torture

Nikki037297 · 06/02/2022 11:07

This happened to my cousin but she was admitted to hospital for pre eclampsia and was being scanned all of the time and even the day of her c-section at the scan was told a girl, he was born 4 hours later and was a boy.

Spitspotsput · 06/02/2022 11:08

Please love your child whatever sex it is. My friend is traumatised because her Mum has told her all her life she should have been a boy.

driftcompatible · 06/02/2022 11:18

You'd have been more upset if there hadn't been a heartbeat. The sex of the baby is absolutely inconsequential. If you didn't want the 'risk' of a boy, don't get pregnant.

Clothes are clothes.

Bonding with the IDEA of a girl based on stereotypes is silly.

You have a healthy baby. Be glad of it.

grey12 · 06/02/2022 11:18

@Spitspotsput

Please love your child whatever sex it is. My friend is traumatised because her Mum has told her all her life she should have been a boy.
At the first scan I really didn't care about the sex 🤷🏻‍♀️ but after being told it was a boy, I imagined his life, I started looking at names, grandparents bought clothes,..... he was a person. And then suddenly he was gone and replaced by a different person!

Now I have 3 girls Grin and honestly at each scan I was super happy to know they were girls! Yes, it would have been nice to have a boy but they were very welcomed by all their family!!

I understand what you're saying, but it wasn't the case for me and I don't think it's the case with OP Wink

trunktoes · 06/02/2022 11:43

I was told that it's not easy when it's a girl to be definitely sure - they are far more certain with a boy. I think they should have told you that. I can understand it's disappointing but it will be wonderful in the end

Trinacham · 06/02/2022 11:48

I think people are missing the point. I didn't care what sex i had, genuinely. Luckily I was told the correct one (of course it is our choice whether to be told at scans or to wait until birth). But had this have happened to me, I feel like I would feel disappointed if I was told boy/girl, only to find out later it is actually the other. As through my pregnancy I was imagining life with my little boy. I would have been thrilled to find out I was having a daughter, but equally grieving for the son I thought I was having. If people can't understand that, why bother posting. Of course she is going to love her son. Just try to have even an ounce of empathy.

Cakecakecheese · 06/02/2022 12:03

I think with all this 'gender reveal' stuff it's a bit easy to get carried away with it all. The scans can only give you a pretty good idea, quite often they can be wrong. However I can see how confusing it's been for you so just take some time and I'm sure you will get excited about having a boy.

mammaaa · 06/02/2022 12:16

The comments on this thread 😳😳 I'm sure
If the poster had found out at the 20 week scan baby was a boy she would be over the moon! It's the fact she's been told girl twice and had 3 months to bond with her baby girl to be told she is actually a he!

Just know your not alone, this does happen!
I'm 31 weeks pregnant with my second boy and everything I have is blue including my pram😂

Good luck with everything and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, on the plus side you have a couple of months left to prepare for your baby boy, congratulations ♥️

ChloeHel · 06/02/2022 12:18

I love the comments about the clothes…maybe OP doesn’t want to dress her baby boy in dresses?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 06/02/2022 12:23

I know two people this happened to and they didn't find out until birth! One of the reasons I didn't ask the sex at any scans.

Honey2 · 06/02/2022 14:42

Wow some people really get on their high horse at the mere hint of a gender preference!

@Mamascone totally understandable that you would be upset. I am sure if you had been told boy from the outset you’d have been over the moon at another healthy baby. But to be told twice even though it’s not 100% - of course you’d start to daydream/ plan. I agree you are perfectly aloud to feel sad for the girl you thought you were having. But I promise you multiple boys is great (I have 3) and just because it’s another boy it won’t be the same as the first time.

And to those saying aren’t ‘baby clothes baby clothes’ 🙈🤣

madeleine85 · 07/02/2022 05:10

This happened to my friend! Even worse than yours, her dad is a top level consultant at a hospital and had his friend do the private scan at 20 weeks which said “girl”. At 38 weeks along came a boy! Weirdly she said she always thought it was a boy as no symptoms and it was her gut feeling. It’s amazing how often it’s wrong! Congratulations on your little guy ❤️

AlternativePerspective · 07/02/2022 05:19

You need to take some time to grieve your girl. Even just a couple of days. And then start fresh again with your lovely boy vile comment. On a topic where many women suffer actual pregnancy loss you’re telling a poster to grieve a girl who never existed? Horrible.

motherknowsbest1 · 07/02/2022 05:58

Currently 32 weeks pregnant
Thought I was having a second boy turns out it's a girl! I had a few boys clothes not a lot and had spent at least a good few months day dreaming about my "son" and even ordered personalised items with his name on and matching outfits for him and my 2 year old son!

Obviously the only things that's really important is that the baby is healthy but it definitely did feel like a sort of loss and took me a few weeks to adjust to the idea that my son was actually my daughter

I sobbed in the scan when I found out she's a girl and I know they were all looking at me like I was crazy and probably thought I was disappointed she was not a boy but I really just was in a massive shock and felt a form of loss and to be honest there were a few tears of joy
I mean one of each is the dream ❤️

I definitely did grieve my son before I started to celebrate my daughter
Now I'm having the time of my life buying everything pink and girly and I cannot wait to hold my beautiful girl and future best friend

sandgrown · 07/02/2022 06:07

It’s better not to find out and avoid all this unnecessary trauma.

Totalwasteofpaper · 07/02/2022 06:09

@motherknowsbest1 super unusual to get it wrong that way round!!!

OP not super helpful butttttt....
-5% of "its a girls end up as boys. So not supercommon but also not that unusual.

  • totally totally normal to feel the rug has been pulled/a sense of loss.
  • you will love this baby either way
  • this happened to a couple I know. They had 4 boys(!!!) already. This was their 5th!!!!
4 different scans (they got extras to be sure) said it's a girl. They eventually got rid of the boy stuff and wider family made a huge deal (lots of new pink things including an egg stroller!...) at the birth it transpired it was indeed a boy!!!
Unescorted · 07/02/2022 06:12

My DD wore a lot of blue for the first few months. I think it is more common that people realise.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 07/02/2022 06:23

When I had my kids in the 80s they were reluctant to tell you for that very reason.

motherknowsbest1 · 07/02/2022 06:23

@Totalwasteofpaper I know! That's why I had no doubts it was a boy haha 🤦‍♀️ it doesn't matter anymore now I'm just excited for my baby ❤️

Marmm · 07/02/2022 06:28

Must have been a shock.

You could probably ask people if you can exchange the clothes or most of them are suitable anyway? A babygrow is a babygrow.