Freaking out about 20 week scan please help!!!

[S0987]

Hi all,

As the thread says I am completely freaking out about the 20 week scan which isn't for another 3.5 weeks and I just don't know how I can go on like this.

I keep reading horror stories on Google about people getting bad news at the scan even though their 12 week scan was absolutely fine and I have just convinced myself I am going to be one of those people.

Does anyone have any coping techniques? Has anyone had a positive 12 week and then bad news at 20? I just keep trying to convince myself that if there was anything really bad it would become apparent at the 12 week scan but I know deep down that's not always the case.

I know there's no real way to solve this other than waiting until the time comes but I just wondered if there's anything anyone can say or recommend to help me not spend the next 3.5 weeks in turmoil.

Thanks in advance

You can do it, keep positive! I'm not sure what to say to help you, but honestly you just have to trust everything will be well.

I was pretty anxious with both pregnancies and everything was good, but I was afraid it was mothers intuition when in fact it was just anxiety. And regarding being sick in the first trimester, I wasn't with the first pregnancy and there were no issues.

Anxiety doesn't solve anything, if everything is good you were anxious for nothing if anything is bad anxiety wouldn't have helped you either..

Just get a private scan, you can sometimes get vouchers on Groupon if cost is an issue.

I work in maternity and more specifically with women who have had concerns raised at their 20 week scans. It is more likely that everything will be fine than not, so try not to worry.
Usually there is some indication at the 12 week scan if something is amiss or from screening tests *if you chose to have them.
However, I am also pregnant and can understand your anxiety around it as if you look/read all the negative things it will naturally make you think that will be your journey and it will likely not be.

If you can afford to have a private well being scan in between for peace of mind I would look into that but other than that, rest assured that the % of women who have problems found at their 20 week scan is small compared to those where everything is okay. Also bare in mind that even if something was found at your 20 week scan, a follow up referral to a fetal medicine unit or a consultant could also have a positive outcome, the scans can give an indication of a problem but not a diagnosis and most women who have referrals from their scans end up going on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies.
If you are feeling this anxious and like you cannot get through the next few weeks, please reach out to your midwife who will be happy to talk through your concerns or put you in touch with a specialist midwife who will be able to help.

@cookie67 is this your first? I've read you don't feel much movement with first but earlier with second. Only 3 days to go for you! I just have this horrible sense of impending doom
(God forbid) I just wish someone could reassure me :( xx

I'm scared of my next scan, but that's because I had to have a cvs test after my 12 week scan, thankfully everything was OK after. I'm only just coming up to 16 weeks now.

Try to use some grounding techniques to disperse the anxiety as stress won't be good for the baby. X

I agree that this worry is normal.

I'm anxious for my 12 week & already worried about 20 week and potential issues. I'd say more so than with my first as I think I was a bit blissfully ignorant 1st time.

However now this is my 2nd pregnancy I'm reassured that anxiety is a very normal part of parenting. I worried about scans, then movement, then birth, then feeding, I always did and still do check DC in the night to make sure they're okay / breathing etc. I worried about illnesses and milestones & weaning. It goes on forever. So whilst I acknowledge those thoughts and feelings I largely let them go and focus on what's within my control and enjoying all the wonderful things.

Hope your partner can listen to your worries & support you.

@VeronicaFranklin thank you so much for replying to the post it's really reassuring that someone who works with women in that position can vouch that's it's only a small percentage. I'm just so worried I will be in that small % god forbid :(
I did have a well-being scan not long ago but because I'm just an anxious mess / massive worrier that's not enough to reassure me. Especially as I've read some people had perfect 12 week scans, great bonding / gender scans then bam it all goes downhill at 20 week. I mean isn't that just awful? Why and how could they not pick up on anything until then what is it about the 20 week mark that's so distinguishable that means you can't notice something at like 17:18 weeks?! Im just working myself up - sorry for the rant. Thank god for all of you on here I think I'd cope a lot less better without forums like these xx

I think you will have had your scan by now @S0987. How did it go?