OP
In my 7th pregnancy (after 6 MMC) I had no morning sickness (which really worried me), I had one scan at 18 wks and had a straightforward pregnancy and delivery and a healthy baby. I kept a diary and there wasn't one day where I didn't express worry about the baby. It's a lottery.
My other two pregnancies I was frequently in hospital with dehydration because of severe morning sickness. I was very worried about harming the pregnancies because of being so sick.
Looking back, I had never been so well in my life as when I was carrying my son - although still fraught with worry about the health of the baby.
When carrying daughters - really bad sickness. Saying that my daughters have had bad morning sickness carrying sons and daughters.
A lack of morning sickness is not always a sign of something wrong.
I think women are being disingenuous to say they don't worry about their pregnancies. Some wouldn't admit to it to prove a point.
I know there is little point in worrying until something has happened. But as you say OP many people like to be aware of the risks - forewarned is forearmed. Some people worry very little - some people worry until they feel ill. Everyone is different.
My daughter's MIL is so superstitious, she will not 'acknowledge' a pregnancy until the baby arrives due to her own experiences. She also thinks that private scans are indulgent and frivolous as do many people on Mumsnet.
As others have said, private scans are often done by current or ex NHS sonographers. Everyone's reasons for having these private scans is valid. Everyone will breathe a sigh of relief when all is well with baby.
We kept in touch with the sonographer who diagnosed a problem with my daughter's pregnancy at 30 wks - she later said that she had scanned another 4 ladies who had had to receive 'sad news' that particular day.
My daughter had counselling after her daughter's birth. A lot of it dealt with how to cope with anxiety. This part of the counselling did not appear to work as she is still an anxious person, but is she more or less anxious than the next person? - we will never know. She has also been told that being anxious and having negative thoughts is normal.
She is expecting her second baby now and as you can imagine - she's extremely anxious. But the point is - she is prepared for this because her experience didn't put her off wanting a larger family. She's dreading her scans and because of a recent miscarriage she's decided to book an early reassurance scan.
There is nothing anyone can say to stop someone else worrying (apart from don't worry, which doesn't help).
Statistics about pregnancy are freely and widely available. Like you, I would rather know the odds. I know that ignorance bliss - I would rather not be ignorant.
I wish you a smooth and healthy pregnancy. I'm sure, like me, you will look back in years to come from a different perspective.
I genuinely would like to think that every pregnancy was uneventful and successful - but that is not the case. My best friend was a midwife (she does Botox now) - she said it was the most stressful job, but very rewarding.
What hurt my daughter quite significantly, were all the reassuring people who insisted that everything would be 'fine' when it actually wasn't. Her midwife measured her at 28 wks and said she was 'spot on' for dates and baby was average size. Her baby wasn't average size - baby was so small she was off the charts at 30 wks and she had polyhydramnios which made her appear to measure correctly for dates at previous check ups. My daughter was then told she had a 2 in 5 chance of having a baby with DS after having a very low chance after her 12 wk scan.
We have no control over the things that lead us to being an anxious personality type.
I think my family background has led to us being slightly more anxious than others. My mother taught me to be anxious by her actions and perhaps I've taught my own daughters to be the same. We are the products of our own experiences. My mother was told that her brother, who was 12 yrs old, found his father trying to drown my mother in the kitchen sink shortly after her birth. Perhaps that knowledge made her anxious? And that's another thread entirely.
It would be far too easy to assume we can assuage everyone's fears by 'not worrying'.