MIL and co trying to pick our son's name. How do I pleasantly tell them to p*** off?

[Mumblesmummy]

We found out yesterday we're having a boy which we're over the moon about and had picked a name as soon as I become pregnant which we're really settled on and I associate my bump with that name! So my family have said it's nice (Though I doubt they like it especially but it doesn't really matter and I'm happy they've said it's nice). However, DPs family have tried to take over with the name which REALLY riles me every time. I've made it very clear for some time that WE are picking our baby's name and no one else will influence that. It also has sentimental value to us.

However, today i was at work and my DP went to see his family and they have been trying to talk him out of naming our son the name we like. I'm REALLY upset about it and now they've started discussing it with their work colleagues and deciding what an appropriate alternative would be, including swapping the names round the other way and chosing all kinds of different names and stuff. Then they ring us to tell us what we SHOULD call OUR baby. All I wanted them to say was 'that's nice'. I know they're going to put doubts in DPs mind about our name, and besides all that, I'm fed up to the back teeth of everyone of them having an opinion on every last thing.

Now me and DP are starting to snap at each other over it because I'm getting to irritated with them. I love my DP to bits and don't want to upset him, or them for that matter, but how do I find a way around it? At the moment I want to scream and shout at them all for ruining it when we've just found out what we're having. How can I make them but out?

Blu- Please remind me of this on my next baby because I'm not telling them ANYTHING at all. They're pains in my rear end.

Collision- lol at heave. I love the name evie!! It's amazing how they think they get a say eh?

Winnie- Totally my point of view on it too.

Flllight- Thanks. I'll keep standing up to them! I don't think they've twigged that the more they push me away the more they push DP and baby away too!!

MIL has now decided to stick spanners in the works when it comes to our wedding. She's decided she can't possibly afford to go (it's in cyprus as that's where we got engaged, and it's so much cheaper for my parents if we do it abroad as they're paying. Plus they get a holiday too then.). She'd led us to believe she could afford to go and threw us an engagement party, and now this!! She knows DP won't get married without her there because his dad's dead so he's close to his family and wants them there.

Also she was bitching about someone who turned up to a family party without their Dp the other night and so my DP said 'that's horrible. If [mumblesmummy] came to a family do with the baby and without me because I was ill, and you started bitching about her like that I'd be furious.' and MIL goes 'well that's different because she'll be my daughter in law and anyway, if you DON'T end up getting married, it's still my grandchild.'

Cue me endlessly hormonally thinking about those words and how my once nice MIL is slowly and secretly trying to stop my wedding.

Hi mumbles - maybe moving to Cyprus with DP and LO would be a good way of having a quiet life (and i'm being serious).

Mumblesmummy, your mil sounds like a bit of a nutter all round. I'd be going crackers if I had to deal with somebody like that and it sounds like you are handling the situation very well.

Might work to try treating her very kindly and patiently, as if she is somewhat senile - it will either make her settle down in her basket, or drive her completely up the wall. Either outcome would be a result, no?

My dad in law is doing an OU history degree, and he wants us to call the baby Thor if it's a boy, Persephone if it's a girl. Right. My mum objected to the name Eva on the grounds that Hitler's girlfriend was Eva Braun. It's not like we suggested Adolf or Idi is it? I like the name Rose too, I think it would be a bit unfair if the wags' names of mass murderers were all banned.

Some friends think it's really funny to suggest 'humorous' names such as those that ryhme with our surname, but even that gets a bit wearing after a while. Will now be leaving room when the topic arises, best all round just to avoid the whole thing. That is one reason I decided not to ask baby's sex at the 2nd scan, as it would mean 4 whole months of arguing about the name with husband, family, friends, complete strangers etc. Wheras finding out at birth means you have to make a snap decision- and also you can see if a name is suitable when you meet the baby, as someone else has said here.

agree agree NEVER TELL ANYONE THE NAME UNTIL YOU HAVE THE BABY IN YOUR ARMS AND SAY "HERE IS X"

this is vital

your dp sounds like a good sort, I don't think he is going to let them walk all over you

if someone tried this on me I think I would laugh "ha ha ha ha ha how funny, the thought that YOU would be choosing my baby's name ha ha ha ha ha"

oh when nosy family ask we always say "Herod"

has worked so far

Hi think they have a bloody cheek!!!

When i was pregnant with both my DD's, my MIL kept throwing names at me. Names I couldnt stand. I kept telling her that we hadn't decided, but really the whole time, I knew exactly which names I had in mind. We never told a sole. It was another "something special" for my husband to tell the family once our baby's had been born. Like-it-or-not attitude - we loved our DD's names and no-one could change his mind cos he was on cloud nine by that time.

Good Luck, with the MIL and ignore her!!!!

Thanks everyone, I'm so glad everyone has said it's not just me being unreasonable as I wasn't sure if I was just been REALLY hormonal. Clearly not. ILs really are hard work! And I guess we've all been in this boat at some point. I definately know for next time to keep my big gob shut and never tell anyone any name ideas ever again other than Herod, Agnes, etc. I hope none of us turn into these awful over opinionated MILs! It's like some sort of 'I am Legend' stylee disease!!

Franny-I just laughed my head off at that, it's definately brightened the whole situation up!!

Lovemymum- I've actually tried to raise that before!! Had we have had any money at all, I'm sure we would have seriously considered it!

Hello again!
Just wanted to echo the general consensus that your MIL sounds nutso. And the bit about not giving you the cot? How horrid can you be?!
Anyhoo. Deep breaths and fake smiles all round. She'll find the dosh for Cyprus too I'm sure.
I might try the Herod line too...