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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Awful experience at the Early Pregnancy Unit

41 replies

Carebear99 · 18/01/2022 18:29

I was thinking should I post this on here but I have a I wanted your opinions.

I'm 39, shock pregnancy. I'm overweight, have endometriosis and pcos.

Last Wed I went to the EPU and saw a lovely lady as I was worried I was having an ectopic due to cramps. I wasn't and was told I'm 5 weeks. The sonographer was lovely and kind.

I had more cramps and having a presumably high risk pregnancy, I called the EPU on Monday and was booked a scan. I had a horrible experience with this week's sonographer. She asked me why I was there, I explained and she said "well you shouldn't have been booked an appointment as you came last Wednesday and I can't diagnose a miscarriage for a week after your last scan". She was so matter of fact and rude, it upset me. She acted like she was going to send me on my way (I want going without a scan). So she agreed to scan me, reluctantly. She talked through the scan but she just made me feel like I was wasting her time. I'm very anxious, I have been trying on and off for 20 years to get pregnant. Thankfully the fetus is growing, she saw the fetal pole and heartbeat.

Anyway has anyone else had an experience like this? If I need to go back to the EPU I'm not sure I'll want to go if she's the sonographer again.

OP posts:

JustWonderingIfYou · 18/01/2022 18:31

I'm surprised you were able to self refer to an epu twice for just cramps. They are very normal early in pregnancy. I had to wait over a week when heavy bleeding.

Maybe book some private scans if you are feeling anxious.

Nailsbythesea · 18/01/2022 18:32

She was probably overworked and seemed to think you want a scan for a miscarriage ??

You had a scan last week all good - please stop worrying I know it’s hard but even a scan to determine a mc won’t stop one. You aren’t ectopic and I know it’s hard as you are on watch but please you are pregnant and your body is doing it so relax!! Yes get any bleeding checked out but so far and so good

Nailsbythesea · 18/01/2022 18:33

I had to wait two weeks between scans minimum

DysmalRadius · 18/01/2022 18:35

Have you been told its a high risk pregnancy and what the risks actually are? Cramping and ligament pain is very common in early pregnancy and wouldn't normally require a scan- what were you hoping for from going to the EPU? Did your midwife recommend you go?

Original poster

Carebear99 · 18/01/2022 18:35

First time the doctor referred me. Yesterday I called and they agreed to see me. The appointment was at 9.30am, no one side was waiting.

The do normally need a GP referral, but they accepted my call as I had been in the week before. The cramps were really severe over the weekend, no bleeding.

OP posts:

Teenylittlefella · 18/01/2022 18:37

The cramps are the uterus stretching. A good sign, if unaccompanied by bleeding, in early pregnancy.

Original poster

Carebear99 · 18/01/2022 18:37

I think I had convinced myself it was a blighted ovum. My anxiety is quite bad atm.

Having not been pregnant for 21 years (and I was 18 at the time) I can't remember what normal pains are in pregnancy.

I've wanted another baby for so long

OP posts:

Diditopknot · 18/01/2022 18:37

That’s not the best is it.
I’ve had horrendous experiences.

You at the very least deserved some reassurance even if they didn’t offer you a scan.

It’s not unusual for people to go for weekly scans in high risk pregnancies, I did.

All the very best with this wonderful news through op, everything crossed for you here x

Original poster

Carebear99 · 18/01/2022 18:38

It's so lovely to have all of you knowledgeable ladies advice. Thank you

OP posts:

kittykat33 · 18/01/2022 18:43

I can see both sides. I understand your anxiety as I am feeling the same at the moment waiting to see if I've had yet another miscarriage - if I have it'll be number 3 in a row.

It's so hard BUT I've already had two miscarriages in the last year and also persistent bleeding and I still have had to wait two weeks between scans to see if the pregnancy is progressing or not.

They can't clinically diagnose a miscarriage until it hasn't progressed for 11-14 days and thus scanning in between is not actually effective and they can't offer a reassurance service. If I have had a miscarriage it'll be a missed miscarriage or similar as pregnancy is still there so I'll need intervention etc.

I think you need to book private scans if you just need reassurance really.

Original poster

Carebear99 · 18/01/2022 18:46

Fingers crossed for you, I really hope your pregnancy is progressing.

OP posts:

RelentlessForwardProgress · 18/01/2022 18:51

Hi, my heart goes out to you reading this....20 years....what a long journey you have had. I'm so glad the scan showed a heartbeat today.

Its difficult because you feel like EPU are doing you a favour by scanning you, and you don't want to rock the boat and risk not being scanned, but I would very politely contact them, and ask if you could be scanned by someone else next time and explain why.

I unfortunately had a lot of experience with the EPU, met many lovely staff, but I did encounter one bad apple who was deliberately unkind to me..

I'd lost my last baby at 20 weeks into the PG, and at the 20 week scan for my next pregnancy, the sonographer asked me about this before the scan.
When she started scanning me said 'oh no, this really doesn't look good i'm afraid'
and of course I said 'why?'
and she said, can't you see I must concentrate, be quiet'
and I stayed silent, tears rollng down my face for about five minutes.

Then she looked at me and said 'what on earth are you crying for?' 'All I meant was the picture quality didn't look good, the baby is fine' she knew EXACTLY what she was doing.....

I was in complete pieces about having this awful woman again, so when I went back I asked the receptionist if it was possible to have someone else scan me. The receptionist went into a side room, conferred with a doctor and then came back and told me I could see someone else who was lovely.

It was only afterwards on the way home that my husband pointed out that when I'd asked the receptionist, I hadn't given my name, or appointment time (it was a big unit at a large London teaching hospital so lots of people arriving for scans) and so the receptionist had known who it was I'd wanted to avoid without having being given their name. So it was obviously not a one off, if the receptionist could guess which sonographer I was referring to.

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 18/01/2022 18:54

Beyond 12 weeks you will be seen at the normal ultrasound clinic - not EPU so you won't have to see them again and it sounds like you shouldn't need to be seen before then as everything is fine.

I'm sorry you've had a bad experience- I e had my share with 6 miscarriages. She was probably stressed and sees a lot of women needing reassurance and has become blind to it.

bonetiredwithtwins · 18/01/2022 18:55

I can also see both sides - they shouldn't really have allowed you to be seen twice in such a short space of time and no EPU I know will scan for suspected ectopic before 6 weeks (I nearly died twice from 2 ruptured ectopics and was still refused a scan at 5 weeks). I can imagine it was very frustrating for her as really at 5 weeks very little can be seen and making a diagnosis either way is virtually impossible especially when it's only been a few days . I'd chalk it up to an off day and try and forget about it OP or go for private scans

GizmosEveningBath · 18/01/2022 18:58

It's not your fault her colleague booked you in despite thier policy. She could have been a bit more tactful.

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP!

GirlMama21 · 18/01/2022 19:01

@JustWonderingIfYou

I'm surprised you were able to self refer to an epu twice for just cramps. They are very normal early in pregnancy. I had to wait over a week when heavy bleeding.

Maybe book some private scans if you are feeling anxious.

I have to agree with this poster OP- I was unable to be seen when I was actually miscarrying last year so am amazed you've been seen not once, but twice due to cramping. As others have said, cramping is pretty normal in early pregnancy.

I think rather than trying to come across as unfriendly, the sonographer was probably just frustrated about the above? Glad to hear everything was fine and all the best with the rest of your pregnancy.

It does seem to vary so much across the country whether you get seen by EPU or not. Ours strictly only accepts GP/A&E referrals, you can't just call up and request to be seen.

AliceW89 · 18/01/2022 19:09

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP. I can well see why you are so anxious about things. The sonographer really shouldn’t have projected her own feelings about your booking to you. Unfortunately though, EPU is a ridiculously busy service and a lot of people want scans for reassurance. Sadly even for those having a miscarriage a scan isn’t going to change the outcome. I can see why she maybe thought it inappropriate - but it wasn’t necessary to tell you this. She should have discussed this with her colleagues.

Greenmarmalade · 18/01/2022 19:13

Some midwives can be really harsh and insensitive. I’m sorry you had this upsetting experience.

Original poster

Carebear99 · 18/01/2022 19:15

Thank you, some really helpful advice. Very true that they are busy and I didn't want to waste their time, but I can see everyone's point.

Now I know the cramping is normal (film on here, no one at the EPU said that) I'm OK.

Very true that a scan won't change the outcome and I'm trying to live by the motto "what will be will be" and trying not to worry so much. I've calmed down a bit now I've seen the fetal pole and heartbeat and I know my baby is hopefully growing. I may go for private scans of I need reassurance but even then like you've said it won't change the outcome if something bad happens.

OP posts:

3WildOnes · 18/01/2022 19:20

I am surprised they saw you when you are so early to be honest. I have had a few miscarriages but have never been to the EPU for scan unless they were over 10 weeks as that’s when I have been in the system. Before that I just passed them at home with no medical intervention.

Original poster

Carebear99 · 18/01/2022 19:37

@3WildOnes

First time I went, last week, I thought I was 7 weeks but I've got pcos so I guess I ovulated later.

The criteria for them is 6 weeks usually, which I am now and cramps is a reason they accept will see patients

OP posts:

WonderfulYou · 18/01/2022 19:42

She sounded rude and there was no need to be rude but in theory what she was saying is correct.

Original poster

Carebear99 · 18/01/2022 19:46

@WonderfulYou

She sounded rude and there was no need to be rude but in theory what she was saying is correct.

Thank you. I didn't know that then but I do now so she did teach me something. It was just her manner, I was crying when I was there. They are dealing with people who are worried about their pregnancy.

OP posts:

EmmaPaella · 18/01/2022 19:52

@RelentlessForwardProgress

What a horrible woman! I also came across a vindictive midwife, who seemed to enjoy making people feel upset. Though most were lovely.

OP I can sort of see the sonographer's point, if not the way.it was made. I would look into private scans for reassurance.

Conspiracyornotr · 18/01/2022 19:54

That's horrible she should have been doing everything to comfort you I would make a complaint hun x

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