Awful experience at the Early Pregnancy Unit

[Carebear99]

I was thinking should I post this on here but I have a I wanted your opinions.

I'm 39, shock pregnancy. I'm overweight, have endometriosis and pcos.

Last Wed I went to the EPU and saw a lovely lady as I was worried I was having an ectopic due to cramps. I wasn't and was told I'm 5 weeks. The sonographer was lovely and kind.

I had more cramps and having a presumably high risk pregnancy, I called the EPU on Monday and was booked a scan. I had a horrible experience with this week's sonographer. She asked me why I was there, I explained and she said "well you shouldn't have been booked an appointment as you came last Wednesday and I can't diagnose a miscarriage for a week after your last scan". She was so matter of fact and rude, it upset me. She acted like she was going to send me on my way (I want going without a scan). So she agreed to scan me, reluctantly. She talked through the scan but she just made me feel like I was wasting her time. I'm very anxious, I have been trying on and off for 20 years to get pregnant. Thankfully the fetus is growing, she saw the fetal pole and heartbeat.

Anyway has anyone else had an experience like this? If I need to go back to the EPU I'm not sure I'll want to go if she's the sonographer again.

Don’t spend money on private scans, I’d invest it in therapy.

Scans won’t give you reassurance, but you’d benefit from support to tackle the root of the anxiety.

At the end of the day it doesn't really matter if op 'shouldn't' have been given an appointment because she was. If the sonographer was frustrated she should have taken it up with her colleague and not the patient.
I'v had a mixed bag in EPU, either cold or amazing.
It sounds like everything is progressing as it should so try to focus on that. Congratulations

Congratulations on your pregnacy, and what a long journey it has been for you!

Given your history you were right to go for another scan! I think the problem is that they offer a one solution, 1 plan, for all, but not all our journeys are the same. If you can afford to, then book bi-weekly scans privately, just for your piece of mind

Thank you so much everyone.

@IsabelHerna your comments made me smile. The comment above about therapy, er no thanks. And that isn't particularly helpful.

I had a private scan yesterday just for my peace of mind and all was OK and it was really reassuring.

Reassurance scans were shown to help prevent miscarriage in some women, "TLC" I remember a Professor Reagan saying this.
If you weren't "entitled" to a scan that should be said at the point of booking, that's not the sonographer's business to be speaking to you about it.

Just wanted to say congratulations op I tried for 11 years I got my rainbow after 2 mc

She was rude put in a complaint

Don’t dismiss the poster who suggested therapy, OP. Your anxiety is understandable but it is also not inevitable and there is support available.

@Drunkpanda

Reassurance scans were shown to help prevent miscarriage in some women, "TLC" I remember a Professor Reagan saying this. If you weren't "entitled" to a scan that should be said at the point of booking, that's not the sonographer's business to be speaking to you about it.

I'm sure that they do but EPUs don't exist to provide reassurance scans. OP was right to seek reassurance from a private scan.

I've had 4 MCs and now 14 weeks pregnant. I had bleeding and cramping early on in this pregnancy and avoided the EPU based on all my other experiences. I'm sure thy vary from place to place, but every single time I've visited (probably over 8 times) the women have been cold and borderline mean! Maybe the line of work, as they probably have to deal with so many sad cases? Maybe they just detach I guess.

I agree with the two previous posters about the therapy - you've had 3 scans in less than two weeks due to anxiety. The scans won't change the outcome so it would be wisest to treat the root cause for your severe anxiety instead.

@WitchWithoutChips early pregnancy units don't exist to help women stay pregnant? Now that's a new one on me.

@Carebear99 congratulations on your PG. 20 years - that's a lot.

There is some evidence out there that more frequent scans provide very slight protection against MC - presumably because it reduces stress. A scan won't reassure you forever, but it will give you a few days. Can you afford to keep going privately? I couldn't afford it but would've done if I could!

Have a chat to your MW at your booking appt as well - mine was lovely and after 16 weeks let me have a listen to baby's heartbeat each week as it helped my mental health so much (and stopped me turning up at the hospital every other week).

I do agree with other posters that talking to someone might help. I wouldn't expect it to totally fix anything but it's worth considering as part of a wider plan to manage your anxiety and have the lowest stress level possible in your pregnancy - which might still be quite high!

Oh, and cramping is totally normal. The cramps I had in both MC felt exactly the same as the pains from the baby growing in my successful PG. Genuinely - I was terrified for weeks but it was all fine.

[quote Drunkpanda]@WitchWithoutChips early pregnancy units don't exist to help women stay pregnant? Now that's a new one on me.[/quote]
No, they don't. They exist to provide care for women presenting with problems associated with early pregnancy. Sadly this early on there is often nothing to be done to help a woman to 'stay pregnant'.

The early pg unit provided zero care for me with any of the miscarriages I have had. They diagnosed/observed them whatever you would call it, then you are sent off and not monitored or followed up in any way.

I kind of disagree with a few posts on scans not helping.
After my 4mcs I've been diagnosed with PTSD. Talking to someone helps to an extent (I see a private psychologist weekly)... But the real help is the frequent scans. When you've had MCs, you have the memories and can attach them to everytime you go to the toilet, feel a cramp etc. There's no way around it after such awful experiences unfortunately.
So I had weekly scans - two a week in the early stages- all the way through until 12 weeks. I'm now down to fortnightly as I'm more reassured and after my 16 week one I'm challenging myself to go monthly.

There are lots of coping mechanisms out there and we shouldn't be dismissing the value of frequent scans if it helps the person - especially if you've not had reoccurrent miscarriages yourself. Lots of evidence in how those scans help - NHS offered me them weeks 5-10 because of that evidence.

Hope you are okay @Carebear99 - not sure if you will see this and update us but praying you had a successful outcome x