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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

39, pregnant and worried

39 replies

Callmechar · 14/01/2022 15:22

Hi everyone
I'm new here. Me and my husband have 20 year old daughter but due to my PCOS and endometriosis, baby never 2 was wanted but never happened.

Then this week I found out I was pregnant. My very irregular or non existent periods have been more regular for the last 6 months and I was expecting my period at Xmas. I was getting cramps this week so I took a test....8 in fact. Then a blood test. Hcg showing 8800, so I thought I was around 6 or 7 weeks. The cramps were painful and due to my age and fertility issues I was referred to the early pregnancy unit to check for an ectopic. I had a scan and I'm 5 weeks apparently. I can't quite believe it and I'm googling every possible thing that could go wrong, as I'm still in shock.

Is there anyone else in my situation? My husband doesn't know how this is making me feel.

OP posts:
ParkheadParadise · 14/01/2022 15:29

I had my second at 38
23 years after my first.
I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 5 months. I was in complete shock it wasn't planned. It did take time to get my head around it all.
Dd2 was born healthy, she's 6 now.

Original poster
Callmechar · 14/01/2022 15:43

Thank you. It's not sunk in at all, the baby is very much wanted I just didn't think it was on the cards. Now I'm obsessing about everything that could be wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
Callmechar · 14/01/2022 15:45

Here is a photo of my scan, 5 weeks apparently

OP posts:
ParkheadParadise · 14/01/2022 17:58

I'm sure everything will be ok @Callmechar
Congratulations.

holdonbaby · 16/01/2022 21:51

@Callmechar how are you feeling after the weekend?

I've recently found out I'm pregnant I'm 41 and I'm so worried.
All this was planned so different to you in that respect but I just want to protect and grow this baby to a healthy outcome and being older, I am scared.

I've not even called a dr yet- although I can't remember what the procedure is!

Hope you're ok.

Mattieandmummy · 17/01/2022 05:10

The vast majority of women aged 39 / 40 go on to have completely healthy babies, yes there are increased risk but the risk increases by a very small percentage. There's a fair bit of scaremongering around the risks I think.

If you are still worried after your combined test results you could have the harmony test from ten weeks which is 99% accurate.

You will be fine love x

SquarePeggyLeggy · 17/01/2022 05:15

My beautiful Bonnie babe was due on my 39th birthday. She’s fine!
I did opt for a Caesar and did have a small haemorrhage. My morning sickness was dreadful too. But I recovered so well and much faster than ten years before! And am loving the confidence of being an older Mum. All the best!!!

VitaminA · 17/01/2022 05:43

As a PP said, the risks do increase with age but only slightly. You are still much more likely to have a healthy baby than not. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope everything goes well!!

BaggaTDoubleTroubleDoubleG · 17/01/2022 05:50

I had my first baby just before I turned 38 - fertility issues meant it took us almost 6 years.

I then had a surprise baby at 41! He’s absolutely perfect. I had a lovely and easy pregnancy, the main issue was being tired towards the end but that was with a three year old to contend with on top of an extremely busy job.

You can certainly do this. Good luck!

Forshorttheycallmecomp · 17/01/2022 05:51

Congratulations! I thought number two wouldn’t happen and only had four years between babies, and struggled getting my head around that, so I imagine your brain is completely nuts right now. But many women have babies at around 39 and it is all absolutely fine.

Carebear99 · 17/01/2022 07:06

Hi everyone,
I'm actually the original poster (I changed my username).
Honestly, I'm petrified. I'm overweight, my age... I've spent all weekend on Google. I'm going to can the GP to get another EPU referral so I can get another scan. I should be at least 6 weeks today (scan last Wed showed me as 5 weeks which is off with dates I thought but I have PCOS).I do recall having awful pains around 19 Dec so I was likely ovulating then or about to ovulate. I was not expecting to get pregnant so I haven't been tracking period dates, possible conception dates etc.

Everyone on here is so lovely though and that has helped a lot.

FrangipanFlower · 17/01/2022 07:54

I’m 41 and currently feeding my 12 week old. You will probably be offered consultant led care which may include extra scans to keep an eye on things. If you can afford it I’d recommend getting the harmony test too. Due to my age the combined screening result came back as a high risk for certain chromosome disorders which I found a bit alarming but the harmony test reassured us a lot- plus we found out we were having a girl very early on!
This pregnancy was so easy compared with my elder daughters 6 years ago and the labour a dream. Good luck!

Carebear99 · 17/01/2022 08:21

I've never heard of the harmony test, I'll look into it. Thank you.

I'm waiting for 830am to call my GP get another referral to the EPU. I'm getting cramps.

Carebear99 · 17/01/2022 10:46

Just back from the EPU. They confirmed all is well, they saw the fetal pole and the heartbeat. She said I'm 5w 5 days but that can't be right, they can't be exact at this stage. I was apparently 5 weeks last Wednesday.

The gestational sac is now 15mm, was 10mm last Wednesday and there was only a yolk sac last week not the fetal pole or heartbeat to be seen.

FrangipanFlower · 17/01/2022 11:25

That’s great news! The cramping could just be implantation. Have everything crossed for you.

Poundlick · 17/01/2022 11:30

My only child was born (by choice) a few months short of my 40th birthday. I had a perfectly straightforward pregnancy in fact my midwife used to remark on how fit I was, even when overdue had a CS for reasons unrelated to my age, and DS is a healthy (and impossible) delight aged nine.

I was also pretty much the average age for my NCT group of first-timers -- there were three or four older than I was.

Carebear99 · 17/01/2022 11:42

Thanks, you lovely ladies are so supportive.

aConcernedPrude · 17/01/2022 12:00

Hi @Carebear99 Smile congratulations on your pregnancy!

I had my much longed-for second baby last year after years and years of struggling.

I have endometriosis and was told it was highly unlikely to ever happen.

I'll be honest, I was so anxious throughout but as the weeks went by I was able to relax a tiny bit more, but if you're anything like me you won't be able to until the baby is finally in your arms.

I'm pushing 40 also Wink

My daughter is a teenager so also a sizeable age gap but she is so in love with her brother.

Wishing you all the best Daffodil

Carebear99 · 18/01/2022 18:48

@aConcernedPrude

Hi *@Carebear99* Smile congratulations on your pregnancy!

I had my much longed-for second baby last year after years and years of struggling.

I have endometriosis and was told it was highly unlikely to ever happen.

I'll be honest, I was so anxious throughout but as the weeks went by I was able to relax a tiny bit more, but if you're anything like me you won't be able to until the baby is finally in your arms.

I'm pushing 40 also Wink

My daughter is a teenager so also a sizeable age gap but she is so in love with her brother.

Wishing you all the best Daffodil

That's so lovely @aConcernedPrude, I'm so pleased to hear a success story x
orangehour · 19/01/2022 04:54

Hey @Carebear99, how are things going for you? I’m 38 (and a half) and currently pregnant after issues, miscarriages, ivf (not successful) and obsessing too. I’m letting my unhealthy habits get the better of me I’m afraid because I’m not controlling my stress. And google is not helping!! We can both get through this one day at a time xx

Carebear99 · 19/01/2022 05:25

Hi @orangehour thank you for your message. How far along are you? I'm so stressed out, last scan on Monday this week but I'm thinking about paying for a private scan.

orangehour · 19/01/2022 05:35

Hi @Carebear99 I’m 8w4d now. I had a scan on Monday and it went okay but I have a haematoma, which the gp didn’t seem to know anything about! The heart rate of 160 is also worrying me as everyone on this site seemed to have much higher rates. I should have been pleased to see a heartbeat but the anxiety took me over again. How far are you now?

wedonttalkaboutmyposts · 19/01/2022 05:42

I had my second age 43, 12 years after my first. We'd given up trying and he was a lovely last minute surprise. He runs us ragged but we are so in love with him. Good luck!

Carebear99 · 19/01/2022 05:42

@orangehour I'm 6 weeks. I think sometimes too much knowledge isn't good, first I was obsessing about an ectopic then a blighted ovum and now anything else. Google isn't our friend. How many scans have you had? I don't know about haematomas, have you seen your midwife yet?

I was pleased to see the heartbeat at 5w5d, but like you I felt the anxiety come back on again.

JackieWeaversZoomAc · 19/01/2022 05:44

Congratulations! very exciting news. I had DD1 aged 40 and dd2 at 43. Both healthy babies without complications.

There is so much talk about negative outcomes for older women isn't there? But so many of us with healthy babies and uncomplicated pregnancies.

Focus on the positives and try and reduce the negative intrusive thoughts. If anything comes up you will deal with it but ruminating over all the what ifs is unpleasant & unhelpful. Hypnotherapy can be useful to help break negative thought cycles & relax, also yoga.