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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

39, pregnant and worried

39 replies

Callmechar · 14/01/2022 15:22

Hi everyone
I'm new here. Me and my husband have 20 year old daughter but due to my PCOS and endometriosis, baby never 2 was wanted but never happened.

Then this week I found out I was pregnant. My very irregular or non existent periods have been more regular for the last 6 months and I was expecting my period at Xmas. I was getting cramps this week so I took a test....8 in fact. Then a blood test. Hcg showing 8800, so I thought I was around 6 or 7 weeks. The cramps were painful and due to my age and fertility issues I was referred to the early pregnancy unit to check for an ectopic. I had a scan and I'm 5 weeks apparently. I can't quite believe it and I'm googling every possible thing that could go wrong, as I'm still in shock.

Is there anyone else in my situation? My husband doesn't know how this is making me feel.

OP posts:

Carebear99 · 19/01/2022 05:47

Thank you so much. It is so nice to hear positive stories.

Your username made me laugh too.

orangehour · 19/01/2022 05:49

@Carebear99 I’ve just had the one scan - I assumed I had lost this pregnancy early on so didn’t have earlier visits/tests at all. Maybe that’s why I have such a doomed feeling? I’m trying to get in to see the OB for some information. For me, I also know that I have really bad egg quality, so it seems very far fetched that I caught a good egg this time. Maybe we should support each other to stop googling?

Carebear99 · 19/01/2022 05:52

@orangehour that would be great to support each other. It only needs one good egg.

I don't know if your are like me but when I see stats e.g. risk of miscarriage I assume I'll be one of the unlucky ones in the 10% or whatever % it is at this stage. I'm a pessimistic person I think

TulipsGarden · 19/01/2022 05:57

I had my first at 37 and if I wanted another, would happily have them now at 40. Of course there's a slight increase in risk as you get older, but all my friends are having second babies at the moment and they're all healthy and doing fine. I'm guessing your friend group had babies quite young? It's just what you're used to, I don't know anyone who chose to have a baby in their 20s.

By all means have all the tests, keep yourself as healthy as possible to aid recovery, but you're really not that old.

orangehour · 19/01/2022 06:03

@Carebear99 I am exactly like that!! I have fallen into that category a couple of times and now I assume it will happen every time. When people say to me ‘you have a much higher chance of a healthy pregnancy’ I have the automatic thought that it doesn’t apply to me. I’m superstitious about feeling hope! That’s nuts, isn’t it!!!

Carebear99 · 19/01/2022 06:07

Thank you. I had my daughter when I was 18, and I don't really have a friends group. So I'm feeling quite isolated. I talk to my husband but he doesn't understand how I'm feeling.

TulipsGarden · 19/01/2022 06:40

I'm sorry you're feeling isolated. Keep talking to people on Mumsnet, and maybe when you're further along you could go to some baby classes (NCT or NHS) to meet other mums due at the same time? We had someone having her second at my hypnobirthing group.

18 is very, very young to have a child these days.

Dubgirl1212 · 19/01/2022 07:00

I'm 41 and booked in for a c section tomorrow. This is my 4th baby. Baby was planned but yes I have googled having a baby at my age constantly. Everything has gone smoothly. My children are 10,12 and 14 and to be honest on this pregnancy I've had the time to relax that I didn't have on my other pregnancies as I had them so close together.

We actually haven't told many people that I'm pregnant as didn't want to deal with any negativity. It helps that I'm a SAHM and can turn down invites due to Covid.

Wishing you the very best

Carebear99 · 19/01/2022 10:05

@Dubgirl1212

We actually haven't told many people that I'm pregnant as didn't want to deal with any negativity. It helps that I'm a SAHM and can turn down invites due to Covid.

Wishing you the very best

Awww good luck! That's so lovely to hear. Hope so goes well.

I've booked a private scan at the weekend, as that's my birthday present to myself (I'm 39 at the weekend).

CoastalWave · 19/01/2022 10:13

I didn't have mine til I was 39 and 40 after a miscarriage at 38.

I would come off google though. In all honestly, something could go wrong - its very very early days. Most people don't even know they're pregnant at 5 weeks. But hopefully it will all be ok but I don't think focusing on it too much til you've progressed further is helpful. Stress definitely won't help ! Personally I would be of the opinion if it's meant to be, it will be.

Just get off your phone and laptop - eat healthily, relax, breathing exercises etc. Ignore too much information! Wishing you the best.

IsabelHerna · 23/01/2022 15:43

Congratulations,
I am 40, I've got pcos as well, and at the moment i am waiting to transfer embryo #1 and can't wait to reach the 5 week scan!

Carebear99 · 23/01/2022 15:52

Good luck. I can't help but worry especially with my age, if I get to week ten then the npit test which I'm dreading.

Alfixn · 23/01/2022 15:53

Congrats OP.

In my circles its normal to be mid to late thirties starting your family. It's enormously common for women to have babies well into their forties these days. Yes the risks are a bit higher than in your 20s etc, but you have a greater chance of everything being fine than not.

In fact it wouldn't even occur to me that someone would think 39 is "old" to be pregnant!

Wishing you the very best of luck with your pregnancy.

Tempusfudgeit · 23/01/2022 15:57

Congratulations OP, I had my first at 39! Currently 45 and pregnant with our 4th

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