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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Terrified of pregnancy

51 replies

thechocolatefrog · 03/01/2022 19:47

Basically as the title says - I am terrified of pregnancy.

Wanting to start ttc this year but I'm absolutely terrified of pregnancy. Longing for a baby but I'm seriously struggling to get past this huge obstacle. I'm terrified of the morning sickness and other symptoms that you can get. Not so scared about labour it's mainly the pregnancy.

Please please can someone offer any advice if they've been in a similar situation etc..

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Trinacham · 03/01/2022 20:08

I haven't been in a similar situation but for what it's worth, I am a very anxious person in general and I've absolutely loved being pregnant. It is not a given that you will have a bad time. I had no morning sickness whatsoever and it has been a breeze all the way through. Aside from having my little boy in my arms of course, I think I'm really going to miss being pregnant! I'm going on 37 weeks now. Of course it could go either way for yourself, but just wanted to give my experience - as it may well be an easy ride for you too

Sarah239 · 03/01/2022 20:12

I don't really have any advice as my pregnancy has been very straightforward so far in terms of symptoms (I feel very lucky)... but this video might help you, video talking about dealing with Emetophobia/Fear of Sickness in Pregnancy... Zoe Sugg | It includes some tips about dealing with nausea when you have a phobia (and this person managed it and was never actually sick!)

Somerandomgirl · 03/01/2022 20:36

Well theres not much options really...if you really really want a baby you will have to put up with being pregnant, and remember its only temporary and then you go back to normal hopefully x
Or go through adoption?

LJAKS · 03/01/2022 20:41

I hate being pregnant but it's worth it. There's not much else to it, it's a means to an end for me. I haven't had morning sickness with either of mine, everyone is different

Original poster

thechocolatefrog · 03/01/2022 21:37

Thank you for your replies everyone.

I understand it's a choice I have to decide on and without getting pregnant I won't have the baby I so desperately long for.

I just wish I could flip a switch in my brain that essentially makes me 'man up'!

It's probably the morning sickness that's concerning me the most out of everything - my job is fairly physically demanding. Also understand that nobody can predict whether or not I will suffer from this!!

I think I'm just looking for reassurance and a massive hand hold to let me know I can do this, it is worth it and essentially it isn't as bad as I'm imagining!

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Viviennemary · 03/01/2022 21:41

Maybe having a baby is just not for you if you feel like this. Its not compulsory. But maybe counselling would help. Most people have some worries. So its not a completely irrational fear as things do go wrong.

Sunbird24 · 03/01/2022 21:59

Lots of women don’t get any morning sickness OP, my mum never had any and I seem to have inherited that from her - I’ve gone off tea/coffee and had a feeling like I’ve eaten too much when I know I haven’t, but that’s about it! Don’t let fear of something that might not happen stop you if you really want kids, see if you can have a chat with your GP for some reassurance about all the different things that can help with nausea if you do get it. You can do it!

Original poster

thechocolatefrog · 03/01/2022 22:02

Thank you I'm definitely going to speak to my GP. If I got anti sickness pills I do feel they'd help just to relax me!

Having a baby is definitely for me - it's just my silly phobias that prevent me from making it happen unfortunately, that's what kills me the most x

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MiracleBaby2022 · 03/01/2022 23:34

If it's any reassurance, I've had no symptoms at all to speak of. I had no morning sickness, didn't t even know I was pregnant until almost 16 weeks. Not everyone gets morning sickness. I had constipation and bloating - but you can have that even if you're not pregnant. So if you're anything like me you'll just feel like your normal self albeit with an inflated belly. You'll be fine 😊

Viviennemary · 03/01/2022 23:41

I only suffered very very slight nausea for a couple of weeks. A short boat trip is a lot worse for me. Quite a lot of folk dont suffer at sll from morning sickness. But it seems like you are focussing your fears on this one thing. I did get heartburn but only if I ate before going to bed. So I didn't.

Original poster

thechocolatefrog · 04/01/2022 00:07

Thank you everyone, so much - every response genuinely helps me and does reassure me.

In general I'm not a nauseous/sick person in the slightest and my mother didn't suffer any sickness during pregnancy. I'm just fixated on this and the thought of feeling 'trapped' throughout pregnancy as awful as that sounds. Obviously I know the end result is worth it, just so scared of not coping at all and the pregnancy being a misery. X

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CovidisaThiefofJoyandcandoone · 04/01/2022 00:12

It’s rarely the one thing we’ve anticipated that ends up being our biggest problem.

Aphrodite31 · 04/01/2022 00:27

Being pregnant is an amazing journey and mostly usually absolutely lovely.

Well, that's my experience. It's so exciting, and every day feels purposeful.

Yes up to end of week 12 you will most likely have the nausea and exhaustion to cope with. But from week 16 you'll feel little hands fluttering in your tummy and probably feel great.

Last 4 weeks get a bit tiring.

And that's pretty much it for standard pregnancies. Which are the most common.

Go for it. It's a very special time and you should cherish every moment of it.

Original poster

thechocolatefrog · 04/01/2022 00:29

@Aphrodite31

Thank you for that 🥰🥰

I can cope with nausea - just not vomiting!

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Albgo · 04/01/2022 00:46

I didn't have morning sickness but found pregnancy to be uncomfortable and generally miserable. I think I hated every month of it.
However, it was also one of the best times of my life - especially once I started to feel the baby move around 20 weeks ish.
But regardless, it was totally totally worth it.

Lovefreeman · 04/01/2022 01:06

Getting pregnant for some women Is a beautiful experience while for some women Its the worst. But mind you, our body systems varies. The symptoms I may have experience in my first, second or third trimester might be different from your.you might experience little or some of those symptoms. So there's absolutely nothing to be scared of. Just be prepared for it.

BabyOnBoard90 · 04/01/2022 01:15

Infertility section on mumsnet will certainly help alleviate those fears.

Somerandomgirl · 04/01/2022 07:46

Of course you can make it hun x its only couple of months, and who knows maybe you wont even feel nauseous. And even if you do its just nausea. At least u know the reason for it you know. You can moan in here as much as u want thats what we all do haha x

bollocksthemess · 04/01/2022 12:26

I’m 26 weeks pregnant with twins and I haven’t been sick once. My mum had very easy pregnancies and I’m not a person who is ever sick generally. I felt a bit hungover until about week 18 and went off meat, I also couldn’t eat after about 2pm.
I must admit, I don’t know how anyone could actively enjoy being pregnant! I had a very physical job too, it’s been very odd being unable to do certain things.

I think most pregnant women end up at this middle ground, not feeling like it’s the best thing ever, but also not having a truly awful time.
I’m in a due date Facebook group with about 125 women, about 3 or 4 have been really ill with sickness. Another 3 or 4 have had bad hip and pelvis pain. There have been a couple who have had a scary pregnancy with bleeds, their body trying to go into early labour etc.
Most of us have just been plodding along, not having a terrible time but not having the best time of our lives either.

Firsttimetrier · 04/01/2022 13:07

@thechocolatefrog I have a phobia of vomiting and the thought of throwing up in a toilet sends me over the edge, don’t know why!

I’ve had bad nausea but only been sick a handful of times during my pregnancy and it’s seemed to have subsided now I’m 10 weeks.

I know what my triggers for physical sickness are so have avoided doing those things. For example, brushing my teeth with mint toothpaste kept making me throw up so I’ve now switched to a kids toothpaste which is less minty and doesn’t make me gag and throw up.

You may be lucky and get no sickness at all!

I actually miss throwing up as I found it reassuring that things were progressing and the reduced sickness makes me anxious, although it’s normal for symptoms to subside.

siandavies · 04/01/2022 13:11

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GrowBabyGrow · 04/01/2022 13:14

I don't know if it is actually true but it seems from my family and close friends families that pregnancy symptoms are genetic. My mum and grandma had bad nausea but no sickness first tri which is exactly what I had. Whereas my MIL and her mum both had very easy pregnancies with no sickness and minimal tiredness etc. So hopefully if your mum wasn't sick you won't be either 🤞🤞

nellly · 04/01/2022 13:17

Im going to reply with a slightly different approach! I actually did have constant nausea and overall a pretty shit pregnancy wirh lots of complications so I know what it's like to struggle, not that you necessarily will!!
If you do the things that got me through we're setting small goals, things to look forward to with DH and my family, keeping walking and swimming and apps on my phone that countered down and gave me little facts. It all helped me feel like every day was an achievement moving forward and stopped me feeling trapped. Now it's done I'm proud of having got through it

NorthSouthMiddle · 04/01/2022 13:29

Ooh you should do it! Pregnancy is exciting and the physical stuff is really fine, I had bits of most symptoms and bad versions of some, but it really doesn't stop it being fun. If you're this clear that you want a baby then you really have to do it - you'd so regret it if you didn't.

Most people just get nausea, no vomiting. If you're not usually sick and nor was your mum you're very likely to be one of the lucky ones. Also it's only usually bad between weeks 6 and 12, and even then it's on and off, so you wouldn't be 'trapped' suffering it all the time.

Good luck and enjoy!

Original poster

thechocolatefrog · 04/01/2022 13:34

Thank you everyone again.

I'm actually shocked to read all of these stories with so many of you not actually suffering from morning sickness at all!! This has made me feel much, much more confident in a situation which I'm feeling so alone with. X

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