Terrified of pregnancy

[thechocolatefrog]

Basically as the title says - I am terrified of pregnancy.

Wanting to start ttc this year but I'm absolutely terrified of pregnancy. Longing for a baby but I'm seriously struggling to get past this huge obstacle. I'm terrified of the morning sickness and other symptoms that you can get. Not so scared about labour it's mainly the pregnancy.

Please please can someone offer any advice if they've been in a similar situation etc..

@BabyOnBoard90

Unfortunately due to a health condition of mine I also may not be able to conceive naturally so this comment is really unnecessary and hurtful.
I am completely aware of the pain of infertility. I am not making light of that situation in the slightest.

@thechocolatefrog I want to echo the reassurances you've been given. I'm 8 weeks pregnant now (yay!) and have had a fear of vomiting all my life. I haven't come anywhere near being sick during pregnancy I'm happy to say. I feel nauseous most days, especially in the evening but it's manageable. It doesn't feel like nausea when you've got a bug or food poisoning, it's more like a background feeling of being off food and wanting to avoid certain things. The recommended stuff like ginger and sour sweets work well for me.

I know some women do have a bad time but far from all so don't let it stop you :)

My mum says she was the same as me so maybe it is genetic. If your mum had a good pregnancy I think that's a good sign yours will be similar.

@Givemepickles

This really is so reassuring to hear - especially from another with emetophobia!

I definitely feel so much more at ease now. It doesn't help when everywhere you look it says that sickness and pregnancy come hand in hand!!

Hope your pregnancy goes well 🥰🥰

I’ve had no morning sickness and 23 weeks now; I don’t know if someone’s already said this but you can also help avoid morning sickness by taking the right nutrients, from memory a deficiency in magnesium and b6 can make sickness worse and studies have shown taking a b6 supplement helps . (Look ip Nourish with Melanie on you tube who has informative videos on this sort of thing !)

@Wildrobin

Thank you that's very useful - I knew about b6 but not magnesium! I will have a look now. X

Hi everyone,

Me again. I've chickened out again :(
Decided this is the month to ttc and I'm fertile from tomorrow according to my app.

I'm so so scared of potentially being sick it's driving me nuts. Currently 2am and I'm lying here going out my mind.

I'm scared of being sick or feeling sick at work as I suffer from extreme anxiety at work as it is and I'm just worried I'm not mentally strong enough. I can cope with nausea at home.

In my head it is now or never due to my age and the fact that the potential for morning sickness is NEVER going to go away. I'm waiting for a miracle cure and the impossible for all morning sickness to not even exist anymore. Arghh.

I've bought all my vitamins (vitamin d, b6, folic acid) and have upped my magnesium intake through my diet in a way of attempting to build up my resilience to any morning sickness. Now I'm just staring at them waiting for the courage to do this.

Please can somebody give me a real good shake, if anyone is still around on this thread, and talk some sense into me. I want this so so bad it's all I think about. I don't think conceiving is going to come particularly easily due to endometriosis which is also worrying me. Please please someone talk some sense into me to give me the courage to at least try :(

I appreciate this is a really moany post, I just don't know where to turn as I have nobody to speak to about this.

There’s absolutely no telling at all how pregnancy will be for you.
My first pregnancy with ds was a piece of cake. No symptoms, no morning sickness, didn’t feel him move until 27 weeks, tiny bump. Was a breeze.

This pregnancy dd, has bad morning sickness for a very long time, uncomfortable, very tired.

@Chichimcgee

Thank you for replying.

I realise I really am asking for the impossible - a fortune teller who can also ban me from ever being sick.

It's just plucking up the courage to try.

In most cases morning sickness will only last the first trimester and a lot of it is nausea rather than vomiting.
Eat small meals regularly or graze throughout the day and ask your gp for help if you really struggle.

Thing is, once you’re pregnant, it’s a moot point whether you feel scared about being sick because it’s just another thing that could happen in pregnancy. It’s unlikely you’ll get an abortion? You will find a way, you will become stronger than ever in every way. Just like when you’re holding the baby, nothing else matters but looking after them. You’ll become a warrior I promise.

Not everyone gets GD or ends up with a stillborn, not everyone gets all day morning sickness. Whatever does happen though, you’ll get through it.

myrtleandmaude.com/products/pregnancy-pack?variant=37014303080647&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgpr0qtWA9gIVlOF3Ch0CgwHkEAQYASABEgJCKPD_BwE

Treat yourself to something like this to help ease your anxiety and help you feel more prepared

Sorry if you've answered this somewhere else in the thread but have you talked to your GP about this anxiety you're struggling with? They may be able to help, either with talking therapy or with anti-emetics if you get pregnant? It seems like a big deal, don't struggle on alone.

@NorthSouthMiddle

Thank you.
I've seen a therapist for years and years. It has helped slightly but say my phobia started at 100%, it's probably now at 90%.
Obviously there is improvement there but it's very very slow! I will definitely be getting anti emetics if I do fall pregnant.

However.... This week we have started to ttc! Obviously highly unlikely to happen first month but this is a step I've waited for years to take so feeling quite proud of myself. Xx

This was me before I was pregnant - I was absolutely terrified of pregnancy and I have a massive phobia of being sick. I fell pregnant and totally freaked out, I saw a therapist as soon as I found out because I couldn’t imagine being able to cope with it all and the thought of potential morning sickness. Anyway I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks and was heartbroken, I then had two more miscarriages and 18 months TTC. I then fell pregnant with my Daughter and I absolutely loved being pregnant as it turned out. I honestly can’t wait to do it again. I was sick a few times at the thought of food and felt mildly nauseous for a couple of weeks but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I thought it would be. Honestly in the end it is so so worth it.

You do get eased in even if you do get sick. I’ve had two pregnancies. One was pretty much fine and the other was very very shit but the EXCITEMENT of growing a tiny human, seeing them on scans, feeling the kicks, watching the tummy move, thinking about names.. gets you through. Then they arrive… your own little baby. Best thing ever. Nothing worth having comes easy as they say

OP, have you tried hypnosis to help you with your phobia?

FWIW (if the more factual approach might help you), morning sickness in early pregnancy could just be you feeling a bit nauseous occasionally, but not being sick at all. You might not have any nausea. Or if you are sick, it would not be violent or huge amounts at all because you might not be eating much early on. It's hard to predict, but it's relatively rare to have severe sickness in pregnancy (but obviously on forums like this one you'll see many people like that so it's skewed). Hope you manage to feel a bit more confident soon and give it a go. No one can predict if your pregnancy will be a breeze or a complicated one, but it is worth it. Please believe in yourself xx

I’d just go for it! Worst case scenario it’s as bad as you think…but as you think it’s going to be really bad already then hopefully you’ll be pleasantly surprised!

If you do suffer just remember it’s only a short period out of your whole life. I’m someone who hates being pregnant, suffers badly from sickness and I had a very traumatic birth with first. However what they say is true…it’s all worth it, the love I feel for dc is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and I’d go through it all again for them.

Thank you so so much again everyone. I appreciate every comment.

I'm giving it a go. So far not feeling anywhere near as anxious as predicted. Even the thought of ttc terrified me! Not expecting too much too soon though but trying to keep positive!

X

I have tokophobia, body dysmorphia and anxiety. I never in a million years thought I would have children but here I am, nearly 31 weeks pregnant. I won’t lie - I have hated it. Really hated it, and it’s not just the physical stuff (which hasn’t been all that bad, I’m still running and hiking and apart from heartburn putting me off food and constipation I’ve largely “got away with it” so far) it’s the attention and bodily changes as well. I have also felt trapped, and very low at times (not about the thought of having a child - it’s pregnancy that’s causing the trapped feeling)
I will never do it again - BUT - I have coped, and a lot better than I thought I would. I’m nearly there now and I have done something I never thought I’d be able to do. The support from the perinatal mental health team has been amazing. I’m proud of myself, in a weird way.

I don’t know if this will be a helpful post as I’ve kind of confirmed that you might well hate it 😂 but even if you do, you’ll get support and you’ll get through it. I have! x

@WorryMcGee

Yes still a helpful post! We all have obstacles (full blockages!) that prevent us from doing what we want to!

So pleased for you that you have managed to conceive, despite hating it 😂. Let's hope I can do the same! X

@seasunshine22

I'm so so sorry for your losses. So pleased for you that you have a beautiful daughter.

Your post definitely gives me more courage to try!

xx ♥️

@Notwithittoday

This is what I so desperately want - I dream of those beautiful moments.
I have so much love to give, just cannot let this phobia get in the way! X

I did get sick during my pregnancies (sorry) and I can't say it was a fun time, but time passed and eventually it's over.

Maybe one way to think of it, if you definitely know you want dc, is to think that the sooner the pregnancy is over with, the better. So you can stop worrying and the problems if there are any are in the past.

If you desire to have a baby then pregnancy will be fine. What iv found with me is the first 3 months are hard in terms of nausea a d fatigue. 2nd tri is a breeze and 3rd tri is good but I had physical pains like round ligament pain and also constant peeing due to pressure of the bump but it felt lovely carrying a baby bump around! So 1st is the worst in my opinion. But everyone is different and until you don't experience it you'll never know S everyone's experience is so different!

@thechocolatefrog - I cannot speak for anyone else but I never had any morning sickness / nausea.

I found being being pregnant rather joyful - actual childbirth - another matter but lovely doctors and midwives sorted it all out.

I think if you do want to have a child - just go for it. How much worse would you feel if you did not because of imagined things. That said I have a different phobia ( not pregnancy related and no one could persuade me to to do the thing) - so I do understand phobias ( which I take as different from fears )

If you really want a child - just do it - My mother said to me - if being pregnant and giving birth was so dreadful - I would never have had your brother - that is clearly an anecdote from one family

All best to you