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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

When did you tell parents about your pregnancy??

51 replies

peahe123 · 24/12/2021 07:52

I'm only 4 weeks pregnant, but I would quite like to tell my parents on Christmas that we are having a baby. But my husband wants to wait just in case. Which I do understand but if something bad happened we would tell them anyway. Out of Curiosity what would you do??

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CorpusCallosum · 24/12/2021 12:00

I told my mum at 4 weeks, we waited till 6 weeks to tell DHs family as we wanted to do it in person. I told anyone I felt comfortable talking about a loss with so told a few close friends and my boss around 8-10 weeks too. Then wider circle after 12 weeks.

I think in a world where people are more comfortable talking about and encouraged to share their TTC and baby loss journeys the whole 'don't tell a sole till 12 weeks' advice is really out of date.

Dextersmumhasgotitgoingon · 24/12/2021 12:07

We told my parents a few days before the 12 week scan. Unfortunately, we had a terrible scan (but we have now made it to 38 weeks, thankfully!) but for a while I wasn't sure whether we'd progress any further. At the time, I really wished I hadn't told them before the scan because my grief and worry became their grief and worry too. Like I say, thankfully we progressed past the difficulty and have made it almost to full term but it was stressful.

Do what feels right to you, though!

Porridgeislife · 24/12/2021 12:16

We are telling both sides on Christmas Day. We had our 12 week scan this week and wanted to make sure all was ok first.

Arecklessmanor · 24/12/2021 12:19

After the 20 week scan.
My sister told them she was pregnant as soon as she peed on a stick.

We both did what was right for us and they were equally pleased for us both and no issue with me having waited.

PainAuChocowhat · 24/12/2021 12:20

Parents & siblings - 11 weeks, because we were seeing them at Christmas and my 12 week scan was on NYE. Otherwise would have been after the scan. Everyone else that we told we did so after 20 weeks. Just a personal preference really.

jellybe · 24/12/2021 12:20

Parents we told pretty much straight away - my mum was the one who suggested I tested with my first (long complicated fertility history so my symptoms being those of pg hadn't even crossed my mind)

We were of the opinion that of something went wrong we would want their support. Didn't tell anyone else until the 12 week scan confirmed everything was okay.

IsabelHerna · 24/12/2021 14:49

My sister told me and our mum as soon as she suspected pregnancy, and of course when she took the test we knew as well. I think she told her MIL as well, but she let the men and the rest of the family know after 6 weeks.

WhatsWrongWithMyUsername · 24/12/2021 15:01

After the 12 week scan with DC1 (just before the scan with DC2 as I needed DM to look after DC1).

It would have been nice to tell them earlier, but I wouldn’t have wanted the in-laws to know, so have to be fair.

Also, when my Dsis told my mum her pregnancy news, very early on and in confidence, my mum told other people. I’d already had a miscarriage so didn’t want random people also knowing.

Congratulations Flowers

ponymum1980 · 24/12/2021 15:23

We told immediate family (parents) straight away because we felt they were our very important support network whatever happened. We told siblings, the yard manager at the stables where I had my horse, and a couple of very close friends about 7 weeks when I was struggling with symptoms but again because they were our inner circle of friends and closest support, but the rest after our first scan. I think it's most important to have people you trust on your team but it's a very individual and personal decision.

irene88 · 24/12/2021 15:40

We told both our families as soon as we knew; this includes siblings on both sides. I also told my two closest friends and my manager at 5-6 weeks. I wanted my manager to know in case I was feeling unwell, etc., but I've known him for two years and he's supportef me through some difficult shit. I told a couple of other people from work at about 7-8 weeks. Then... I miscarried. I always knew I wanted those around me to be aware of a baby I was expecting so that if I were to lose them they would know and support me through that pain. I stand by that choice. There was one friend I didn't share my pregnancy news with as she'd had a rough year and I didn't want her to get excited it 'for nothing', but then I felt compelled to tell her about the mc as keeping it a secret from her would have felt dishonest as well as a lack of respect towards myself and my loss. I also asked my manager to tell the rest of the team when it happened, as I wanted to bring awareness to how common miscarriage is as well as not have to act as if nothing had happened.

I did get pregnant soon after and chose to do pretty much the same all over again, except this time around I got to announce my pregnancy to the rest of the team after my 12 week scan.

I personally hate the 12 week rule. It's as if by people not knowing that a precious life existed would make it any less painful that it ceased to exist... it doesn't. If anything, you'll feel forced to act normal while you're breaking inside. But then again, to each their own. I am comfortable with getting vulnerable with others, but understand not everyone does.

mumofEandE · 24/12/2021 15:44

My son told me when his girlfriend was 16 weeks - they had been waiting until me and DH were both around but with work we weren't!
Then they said we weren't allowed to tell anybody/ no social media Hmm
I have told people at my work - those who don't know them / will not meet them!

strawberrysummer19 · 24/12/2021 15:54

The day I got my positive result !

I've told friends also - and work - I've gone through IVF which people also know about so I don't announce it as such but all my close family know. I would tell them and need them if anything were to happen so figured I'll tell them straight away x

Chanel05 · 24/12/2021 16:08

Pregnancy 1 - 9 weeks, just after I found out I'd had a missed miscarriage.

Pregnancy 2 - my now dd - after the 12 week scan.

There is no right or wrong time but for me, 4 weeks is just too early in case a loss happened.

Congratulations! Xmas Smile

Classicblunder · 24/12/2021 16:23

Told my mum at 12 weeks, my dad funded our IVF so knew all along. In laws told about our IVF etc. My mum would have been awful if I had miscarried - she would have told me it was all my fault in some way, diet or being too far or not praying enough, just not worth it

wingingit33 · 24/12/2021 16:43

16 weeks

BillyBarryBoo · 24/12/2021 16:48

After 12 week scan with previous pregnancy.
At 14 weeks this time because we were visiting. I would have liked to wait longer but it was obvious at that stage.

CupCalamity · 24/12/2021 16:55

We told my parents as soon as we knew, as I knew if it ended I'd want their support so why not tell them anyway. Would have been happy to tell the in laws too but DH wanted to wait a bit longer to be more sure.

Meowwwwwww · 24/12/2021 17:10

I told my parents right away and the in-laws the next day. We asked them to keep it quiet and they did. I’m sure my mom let it slip to people in her life but nobody that would affect me. At the point uou are OP I would tell them but I wouldn’t make a whole big Christmas “announcement” about it. If there will be other relatives around and you don’t want them to know you need to make sure your parents can manage that.

To be honest I don’t totally understand why there is this whole big secret around early pregnancy. Of course you don’t want to tell the whole world but if you have a halfway decent family relationship I don’t see why you would hide it. When I had a miscarriage I needed the support of my friends and family and even my boss.

YfenniChristie · 24/12/2021 17:32

We told immediate family (parents and siblings) at around 4-5 weeks. I was a reluctant to tell them that early on, but I had some spotting/bleeding and the whole experience left me feeling quite isolated (even with my very supportive partner).

KaleJuicer · 24/12/2021 17:34

16 weeks - after 6 miscarriages I could do without the “advice” about what I was doing wrong

pradavilla · 24/12/2021 23:07

Tell them. I wld be so disappointed if my daughter didn't tell me and then had to tell me well mum I was pregnant but I've had a miscarriage.

I told my parents, the first time I saw them in person. I found out at 5wks and told them at 6wks. Was around same time for second baby.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 24/12/2021 23:14

Mine was an accidental pregnancy with a man I hadn't known long, my parents didn't even know I had split with my ex. I did marry the man in question and was so happy... but we told his parents around 5 weeks, as it was his dad's 70th birthday party. I told my parents when it was about 4 months, they were actually delighted that it wasn't my ex's, even though they didn't know DH.

Second time round I told my parents as soon as we found out (his had both died in the intervening 3 years) but it didn't stick and I lost it at 4.5 months.

sjxoxo · 24/12/2021 23:16

I told my mum straight away and my dad a couple of days later as my grandma passed away the same day I had a positive test. They did blab but not straight away- more like at 12 weeks & only to close family friends. If they weren’t trustworthy I would have been more cautious x

xx18921 · 24/12/2021 23:21

My folks at 5 weeks as my mum is in wheelchair and my dad sometimes asks me to lift her/help. I couldn't say no without explaining why. Also my BF for supppse of anything went wrong but DF parents/family were told after first scan then friends etc at 16weeks.

ExPatHereForAChat · 24/12/2021 23:23

With DC1 we told parents at 5 weeks and sibling at 12 weeks, after the scan.
This time round, we're all together for Xmas and I've told them as they're wondering why I'm not drinking. I'm only 5 weeks along so hoping all goes well. If not, I know I'll have their support.