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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Attending a wedding with 300 people Boxing Day?

85 replies

HotChocolate16 · 17/12/2021 20:55

Evening everyone

My brother in law is getting married on Boxing Day. There will be 300 people attending. I will be 16 weeks pregnant. I’m really worried about it but it’s not something I can really not attend. What would everyone else do? I’ve had 2 jabs but not my booster

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

heldinadream · 18/12/2021 13:14

I really don't understand why your family think it's ok to coerce a pregnant woman into attending an event that could be a danger to her and her unborn baby's health. It's shit.
I hope you find the strength to tell them you're not going.
Don't forget, with the way things are, a week or so later many, many of them will be ill. At that point they'll know you did the right thing. Please say no OP.

Epli · 18/12/2021 16:49

You really need to focus on facts here and make a decision. It seems to me that the risk of catching Covid at the wedding is quite high:

It is unlikely that among 300 people nobody will have Covid. If you are counting on people being sensible please don't - my grandmother had a 90 birthday party a month ago, just nearest family & friends ~20 people. It turned out one of people had 39 degrees fever and cough just two days before, but they still came. She did not have to be hospitalised with Covid but now she is fighting complications and is close to dying due to kidney failing and blood circulation issues.
You mention you come from an ethnic minority. I am not sure which in particular but you should be aware that some of minorities have lower vaccination rate than the general population, so if anything the risk might be higher. Also ethnic minorities tend to live in bigger cities, which are Covid hotspots.
The fact there is no music, dancing and everyone is sitting at tables does not really change much, unless the event is open-air. What we know since last summer 'eat out to help out' is that closed spaces perfect places for spreading the virus, and that was the case before the current mutation, which is much more virulent (I think one person caught Omnicron through hotel door - they were leaving food for a passenger in quarantine after coming from SA, the passenger did have Covid Omnicron variant)
Even if everyone wears masks then it might be they won't lower the risk significantly- unfortunately the cloth masks majority of people wear are much less effective that FFP2/3 types of mask that are now mandated in some European countries
5 days after booster is better than nothing but not optimal; the efficacy will also depend on which brand you'll receive - mixing brands (ideally Pfizer with Moderna) gives best results.

Now it is true that the overwhelming majority of pregnant women and their unborn babies will be fine even if mum catches Covid durign the pregnancy, but the level of risk an individual is willing to take and bear responsibility or blame is very different. You have to do your own research and decide. So far we know about following complications: lower birth weight, pre-mature birth, blood cloths etc. It's up to you to decide what you feel comfortable with, remembering that, it is almost certain you will come into close contact (and for several hours) with somebody who has Covid.

spinachpie · 18/12/2021 16:54

No way would I be going. If they judge you for not going, they would probably also judge you for going and for risking your own and baby's life.

heldinadream · 18/12/2021 16:54

@Epli that's shocking about your grandmother. I don't know - in your position - how I'd stop myself from being really angry with the person who attended knowing they were ill.
for you and your gran. I hope she's able to be made comfortable.

Badbadbunny · 18/12/2021 16:57

Nope, I wouldn't be going even if it were only 30 people, let alone 300.

Goldi321 · 18/12/2021 20:39

Absolutely no, I wouldn't go. I'm 29 weeks and have cancelled all Christmas events that I was supposed to be attending and am only seeing my close family over Christmas (parents and sibling who are all self-isolating for a week beforehand to protect me and the baby).

I'm a GP. People have stopped connecting coughs/temps/feeling unwell with COVID and I am alarmed on a daily basis speaking to people who are coughing without testing and still going about their daily lives. I've also had patients lie to me that they don't have any symptoms before sitting in front of me and admitting that they do (thanks!). Only you can protect your unborn baby. Don't trust anyone, and I certainly wouldn't trust 300 others who have no incentive to keep you and your baby safe.

shas19 · 18/12/2021 22:13

I had covid at 20 weeks and was fine. Currently 36 weeks. Choice is yours.

BarkminsterBlue · 19/12/2021 05:31

If you really must go (and I wouldn’t, in-laws or no in-laws) get a walk-in booster today (Sunday) so that you are seven days post-jab and will at least have some protection.

2021mumma · 19/12/2021 06:07

I wouldn’t go.

Is your husband going as it’s likely he could catch it and bring it home. I was being extra careful when I was pregnant barely leaving the house and my husband brought it home and we all got it.

Please be careful covid and pregnancy was awful

CurtainTroubles · 19/12/2021 06:15

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

EmmasMum12 · 19/12/2021 06:24

What does your husband say? Because you could fake illness and not go, but if he goes and your little one goes, then chances are you'll catch it from them

Lovemylittlebear · 19/12/2021 06:39

No way I would have gone when I was pregnant. For me it would not be worth the risk of being one of the unlucky people that it affects in terms of the pregnancy. Having said that I pretty much hibernated when I was pregnant, apart from the school run and seeing close family and very close friends whilst socially distancing. It needs to be your choice x

tiredanddangerous · 19/12/2021 07:01

Don't go op. I very much doubt 300 people will be allowed to attend a wedding by Boxing Day anyway so hopefully the decision will be taken out of your hands.

ClaudiaJ1 · 19/12/2021 07:25

Who on earth has their wedding day on Boxing Day? Christ that's a recipe for disaster, isn't it? I wonder if half won't show because they are too hung over from Christmas Day. The bride and groom are risking a lot of people being no show and hence are wasting catering money. Also I don't believe in children being at weddings so if I were you I would have had a babysitter for your 2 year old, and not taken them. The last thing weddings need are kids crying and screaming throughout the ceremony and parents having to run around after them. I definitely wouldn't go. It's too risky for you health-wise, not just risky to you but risky to the fetus. Not to mention the stress of having the 2 year old there if you can't get a babysitter. Normally people don't go anywhere Boxing Day as they are too hung over and/or tired, so the very second I was told it was Boxing Day, I would have declined on the spot. Boxing Day no one does anything or goes anywhere, the day is naturally ruled out for most as a write off. What on earth possessed then to have it on Boxing Day???

Caramellatteplease · 19/12/2021 07:33

No absolutely not.

Noone who intended to see in the 14 days after would be going either. Its putting you at ridiculous amounts of risk.

The social obligations to attend mean that people are more likely to ignore symptoms and/or fail to get a test. So the event itself is a greater risk

ClaudiaJ1 · 19/12/2021 07:34

What does your husband say? Surely he wouldn't want his wife and mother of his unborn child to risk her life and the life of the his unborn child. You don't know if you might just be the unlucky one to end up on a ventilator. Most people who end up on a ventilator don't come off it. And if your husband's 'culture' is more important than your health and the health of an innocent unborn child, then it's not a culture worth having. If I were your I'd walk away if he didn't back me up. It's a test to see how important you and your life is to him.

Madmog · 19/12/2021 07:35

Pregnant or not, I wouldn't be going especially at the moment. Sadly, it might be called off if they have to bring restrictions in.

Soontobe60 · 19/12/2021 07:41

I’d be ‘taking’ a covid test the day before and announcing that it’s positive (even if it’s not) so you’ll need a PCR test, and therefore can’t attend the wedding.

EmmasMum12 · 25/12/2021 07:29

Did you decide what to do, OP?

MintJulia · 25/12/2021 07:40

No, not a chance. Your well being is a lot more important. Tell them you are poorly and keep your dd at home as well. Let your dh go and enjoy himself.

SugarHouse1 · 25/12/2021 07:44

I know someone going to a wedding of 300 people tomorrow. I think it’s insane. Especially given the low vaccination rates in our area.

Uninterested · 25/12/2021 08:07

300 people!!!! Wow that's really idiotic

Dextersmumhasgotitgoingon · 25/12/2021 08:11

Nope nope nope. Several people there will have it.

StampOnTheGround · 25/12/2021 08:15

I'm pregnant and I'd go, same vaccinations as you

muddyford · 25/12/2021 08:19

Acquaintance told me of a wedding last week, forty guests ended up with Covid. No chance I would go and I'm not pregnant.

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