Horrible conversation with recurrent miscarriage nurse

[rainbowsandmagpies]

I'm pregnant for the sixth time, after 5 early pregnancy losses. I'm about 6 weeks now which is the furthest I've ever made it. We're cautiously excited. I've been using progesterone suppositories rectally for almost 4 weeks, since we found out we were pregnant.

Over the weekend I had a small bleed so they scanned me at the EPAU on Monday - pregnancy was in the right place and the right size. No heartbeat or fetal pole but as I was expecting to be about 5.5 weeks along I wasn't too worried about that. I'll be rescanned next Wednesday, great.

Overnight I had another small bleed. Bright red but hardly anything on the pad, it's brown now. I was really proud of myself for being calm and rationale. Had a lazy morning (day off), all was well.

The recurrent miscarriage midwife rang to offer me a reassurance scan at 9 weeks - perfect, I'd love that! I told her about my scan, the one booked next week and the small bleeds I'd had. Her tone totally changed and she started saying things like "when you miscarry", "when you have a negative pregnancy test" and "we'll send the pregnancy tissue off to be tested". I asked her whether she thought the pregnancy wasn't viable and she said "no no, it's just that you shouldn't bleed when you're taking progesterone".

I'm left feeling totally deflated and the sense of calm I've worked so hard to maintain is gone. I just want to get to next Wednesday now. Has anyone else had experiences of bleeding in early pregnancy and everything being fine?

Hi. Hand hold. I’m not sure she’s 100% right about not bleeding on progesterone. Used it in 4 pregnancies due to having ivf. Bled in all of them. 2 MCs, 2 healthy kids. Always started out as spotting, then got heavier with cramps in my MC. But in the early stages the bleeding was the same. My DD - 4th pregnancy - I bled like a period until 12 weeks. With DS I spotted on and off for 19weeks. Hopefully someone who knows more about the progesterone will be along soon x

Is there any chance you can be seen at EPU again with another bleed, before next Wednesday?
Fingers crossed for you. Sounds like her manner wasn't exactly professional. You have no idea if anything is even wrong! I hope it works out.

I bled throughout my pregnancy and was on progesterone until 14 weeks. Some people are just bleedy.

I bled right to 24 weeks with two pregnancies. And progesterone pessaries. Can you be seen sooner? X

I was on progesterone both times (ivf) and i bled a lot in my second pregnancy. Huge trouser soaking gushes and clots. Both times were fine in the end much to my surprise!

Wishing you all the luck in the world

Sorry I don’t have the answer as never took progesterone but I’m sorry that the nurse was like that. Very insensitive considering what you have been thru and also she can’t say definitively at this shame. Try not to loose Hope. I really hope it all works out. I had some huge bleeds with a subchronionic hematoma and still my first pregnancy was fine. I had two MC back to back and it’s very hard indeed having recurrent MC. Wishing you all the best
Xxx

Stage not shame*

Thank you for all your reassuring messages! The EPAU won't see me any sooner because they're looking for growth and they need time for that to happen. My rational brain knows that two tiny bleeds (not even enough to soak a liner) days apart is not too much to worry about but that midwife really got into my head. It's been such a battle to get referred to them and now I wish I hadn't bothered.

I bled from weeks 9-12 and my DD is 14 months now. It was horrible and worrying but my GP told me that it was more common than you think.

Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

I had 3 big bleeds before by 9 weeks and all was fine!

I've had 6 miscarriages and three full-term pregnancies. I didn't bleed in any of the latter, but with those miscarriages I bled in (two were 'missed' and I never bled) it didn't start and then stop, it kept going.

I recall Lesley Regan giving an account, in her book about miscarriage, of having a huge bleed in a meeting when she was pregnant (and didn't miscarry).

What I don't understand is that you think you're 6 weeks, but you found out you were prgnant almost 4 weeks ago, which would suggest you're around 8 weeks now?

I was on progesterone for the first 14 weeks of this pregnancy (now 20 weeks) and bled quite a bit in the early weeks.
I know it's a nightmare but don't lose hope.

I bleed from 5 weeks until 20 weeks with my now 4 month old. I had a subjural haematoma which was the reason behind my bleeding.

@WeDidntMeanToGoToSea, sorry to have been confusing -

last period was 10/10 so those dates would put me at 7 weeks on Sunday, but I ovulate late in my cycle and have a short luteal phase (hence the progesterone) so when I had my scan on Monday I was expecting to be earlier on than my dates suggested. This was confirmed by the size of the pregnancy and my hcg levels.

You've all made me feel so much better. I'm just going to go back to taking each day at a time. @WeDidntMeanToGoToSea's reminder about miscarriages not starting and stopping has been super helpful, having had 5 of them you'd think I would've twigged that!

I've had two previous miscarriages, and am pregnant for the third time, 15 weeks now. I never had any bleeding or spotting in my previous pregnancies, but at the start of this one I had a bit of pinkish spotting, only when wiping, and I fully believe it was because of the progesterone pessaries. Although I was using them vaginally, so could have irritated the vaginal lining or cervix which is what I believe happened. In pregnancy blood flow to the uterus increases which can cause the cervix to become irritated and sensitive to even the tiniest disturbances, like straining to poo or lifting something heavy-ish, and that can cause a bit of spotting or bleeding.

I bled a few times in my third pregnancy- and had a healthy boy (now 19). Then two miscarriages with no bleeding because they were ‘missed miscarriages’

I hope you’re ok x

You are a lot less likely to bleed on progesterone however it doesn't mean to say you definitely won't. I had two early miscarriages - around 7 weeks and 9 weeks, progesterone (rectally) for the this pregnancy and am now 24 weeks pregnant. There is hope! All the best OP.

PALS!!!!! Get that horrible, horrible compassion-void woman reported asap

I had two separate instances of heavy bleeding with large clots and smaller instances of spotting up until nine weeks and was on a high dose of four progesterone pessaries per day. I’m now 22 weeks. I was advised that a heartbeat is unlikely to be seen in a scan until 6.5 weeks. Best wishes.

Utter rubbish from the midwife. I was on progesterone pessaries AND progesterone injections (IVF pregnancy), as well as estrogen, aspirin and steriods and I still bled twice! All was ok and my baby is now here. Extra progesterone can actually make your cervix a bit more sensitive, nothing to worry about.

In pregnancy your cervix becomes very sensitive and little bleeds are very common. At a certain point of my pregnancy I had a tiny bit of blood loss after a bm (sorry for tmi) at least once a week. Because I did Ivf I also have had progesterone supplements and blood loss is actually a very common side effect. Lots of ivf women have some blood loss because of irritation of the cervix and nurses usually advice you to use it as a suppository if this is the case (you must take a supplement where this is possible and even then it won't necessarily stop little bleeds). So I really don't understand why your nurse said what she said. But then I have also been with a recurring miscarriage clinic and they are the most pessimistic people. When I first saw a regular midwife who said I had nothing to worry about I was shocked. At the recurring miscarriage clinic they would say: well for now everything looks ok but... Just ignore her and keep being positive. That sounds such an amazing achievement because I am permanently terrified ever day of my pregnancy. Take care x

DD was my lucky number 6. Crossing everything for you.

You’re less likely to bleed on high dose progesterone, my consultant at the miscarriage clinic told me if I lost it I wouldn’t know till a scan, but I’d had 2 mmc by then and as well as sucking at pregnancy I also sucked at miscarrying and it never happened quickly or “easily” (who knew that was a thing you could be bad at Ffs). As it happened, I had a big bleed with DD at 9 weeks even though I was on ridiculous levels of progesterone and we assumed it was bad news again but a scan at EPU showed a healthy baby and a strong heartbeat. We were so shocked we both got a fit of hysterical laughter which the sonographer seemed to find odd

My consultant increased my prog dose after that but only as a precaution and it didn’t happen again.

Sending all positive thoughts

Thank you all for sharing with me, I'm so sorry for all of your losses.

@AnneLovesGilbert it's been so hard to be positive but if this is the one that sticks, I don't want to look back at this pregnancy and see worry and sadness. We've been buying a piece of baby clothing for every new week we get to and that's been a lovely happy ritual. Hope all goes well 💕

Oops, sorry @AnneLovesGilbert, got you muddled with @matilda128! So glad you've got your little DD Anne!