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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Hiding pregnancy from family over Christmas.

34 replies

FourPlusOne · 15/12/2007 20:20

Will be 10 weeks preg at Christmas. Am feeling awful, really nauseous, tired etc. Have also put on a bit of weight as I've been eating lots to ease the nausea (that's my excuse anyway ). We are spending Christmas and the days following with family in their homes - not much time at our home - so it'll be really hard to hide the tiredness/excessive eating/increased waistline from them! It is our 3rd DC and we didn't tell anyone about the first 2 until after the 12 week scan. I am having a scan in the new year and ideally would wait until then. But then normally I can avoid spending full days with family members!

DH and I don't know whether to mention it to the family - in a sort of 'by the way, we are (hopefully) having a new baby next year and that is why fourplusone is feeling really shit'. Rather than a cheesy Christmas announcment with champers to celebrate etc! (no offence to anyone who has done/is doing this, but I want to see scan before getting too carried away). Also, don't want to take over the family's Christmas with our news IYSWIM.

Has anyone been in this situation? Should we just keep quiet and if people suspect then let them think what they like. Just don't know what I'd say if anyone asked. My mum guessed with last 2 pregnancies but didn't say anything until I told her.

Sorry, v long winded question!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PuppyDogTails · 15/12/2007 20:24

I had the same situation - a boozy family wedding at about 10 weeks. I was convinced that my mum suspected but didn't say anything (she denied it later). I just claimed to be really tired having had a busy time at work etc etc.

poppy34 · 15/12/2007 20:24

congratulatons - you clearly don't feel comfortable saying anything yet (and nor would I in your boat - I've just had my scan and I'm still thinking about whether to say or not as have had previous difficulties after this). If they say something then you can admit it but its probably best for your peace of mind to wait til you've had the scan.

PuppyDogTails · 15/12/2007 20:25

Sorry, yes, congratulations

DennytwasNewYear · 15/12/2007 20:26

2 years ago I was 7/40 over xmas,like you we thought wed keep it quite but if your family are anything like mine not a hope, mine had guessed B4 we even sat down for dinner so not even the refusal of alcohol gave it away. It didnt really change xmas, goodluck whatever you decide.

SantasElasticKnickers · 15/12/2007 20:30

i threw my glass of wine in the plant pot! but didnt let on.

pinetreedog · 15/12/2007 20:31

I was about 7 weeks [pregnant one Christmas and my view was that I would tell family if anything went wrong with the pregnancy like a miscarriage or whatever, so I might as well just tell them as soon as I knew I was pregnant and at least share that initial happiness.

Maybe you'd feel the same, maybe not.

whomovedmychocolate · 15/12/2007 22:21

Feigning flu is always good. Take a good book and insist you go and lie down because you are feeling sick at every opportunity. Or, 'I'm getting over a virus, I feel crap, sorry' is good.

Having said, we told everyone really early because as others have said, if things went wrong, we'd want support not 'why didn't you tell me you were pregnant' accusations.

Waswondering · 15/12/2007 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrannyandZooey · 15/12/2007 22:32

I will hopefully be 12 weeks on Christmas Eve, and didn't want to tell anyone before I have a scan, because I don't want to tell ds before then. My NHS scan wasn't due until the New Year, so we have booked a private scan just for this reason.

Like you I wanted to choose when to tell people and not have them guessing. I hope it works out for you the way you want to - and with luck you will not be feeling so nauseous and tired by Christmas anyway.

hardygirl · 15/12/2007 22:34

I'm going to be 5 weeks at Christmas, so won't even have had a scan yet - and not likely to get one before the New Year. So - no booze, feeling tired, not able to explain why! Excellent!

jinglebug · 15/12/2007 22:38

Congratulations!
I found out I was Prg with DS2 in Nov'05, DS1 had been born Feb'05!
We told Bil & Sil over Christmas dinner.
We didn't tell anyone else until midnight on NYE/NYD . DS2 was born in Aug'06, then everyone was expecting us to announce the arrival of a '07 baby .
I am not having a birth as a yearly event!!

Hope you have a happy, healthy pregnancy

Original poster

FourPlusOne · 16/12/2007 12:32

Thanks for the advice. Think I will try and not mention it if possible - will feign 'flu' and try and get away with looking awful! Will wear smock type things and disguise the tum! Have been living in loose jumpers for the last couple of weeks but that is hard to do when everyone has made a bit of an effort to dress a bit smarter than usual!
Yes, I would probably tell people if anything went wrong with the pregnancy, so it wouldn't be awful or anything if people found out. Grandparents would be pleased, though my main concern is my SIL - she and my brother do have children, daughters aged 13 and 15. So past the small child stage. Think she quite misses them being little (even though they are lovely teenagers) and is maybe jealous that we have little ones now, who I suppose the grandparents do fuss over a bit more at the moment. She was a bit off when we announced the last 2 pregnancies, so I think that us having a 3rd would really annoy her. She is great with the children BTW, just always making comparisons with how hers were at every stage of their development!

OP posts:

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 16/12/2007 13:03

Aaw, we announced my pregnancy on christmas eve last year to all of my side the family, this brings back memories! I didn't know how far along I was (I was 10 weeks along) and my scan wasn't due til the new year so we decided to tell them while they were all together unwrapping presents. They were gobsmacked!

My sister told her dh she was pregnant the first time by wrapping up a jelly baby with a note tied around it and hanging it on the tree as a little extra present for her dh. Apparently he ripped it open, scoffed the jelly baby, chucked the paper (and the note) in the fire and sat there oblivious, going "whaaat???" until the penny dropped. Men!

rmadley · 17/12/2007 09:59

I had the same problem in the summer with parents and in-laws staying whilst I was only about 7 and 9 wks pregnant. We ended up telling them - it was just too suspicious me not having a single glass of wine plus I was feeling absolutely wretched. I was a bit annoyed about having to do it, as I kept my last pregnancy a secret until after the 12wk scan, but it was just easier than lying!

BetsyBoop · 17/12/2007 14:23

you could also tell everyone thast you are on antibiotics, so can't drink, it worked for me at a party, apart from, one friend who twigged but didn't say anything

tinselfairy · 17/12/2007 21:28

i'm having first scan tomorow at 14wks, but enjoying keeping the secret so much we are tempted to keep quiet and test how far i can get before people guess. haing to start watching my clothing though.!

threestars · 17/12/2007 22:39

I would say I was coming down with a bug or something... At the beginning of this pregnancy I had already been on a diet, so just continued with the diet thing to explain no alcohol, avoiding certain foods etc, and feeling faint.
Having had previous baby losses, I've been reluctant to tell anybody about this pregnancy. I told the first batch of people after my 20 week scan! I'm now 24 weeks, and still haven't told a few people, but if they saw me they most definitely would know.
Or think my diet went disastrously wrong .

Mumblesmummy · 18/12/2007 12:41

You've a lot more self control than we had. I did a test and it was faint positive and we rung my mum and told her to come round straight away and told her. Did two more tests in the morning which both said pregnant so we rung her and said 'morning nana', then rang my dad and DPs parents and told them not to tell anyone. Within half an hour we'd given in and rung the rest of the family and told them because we were so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I were you I'd tell them- everyone knows its a bit iffy before the first scan, so not to get too into it. but ten weeks is pretty far on, you're only 2 weeks off 12. Then again, if you really want to wait for the scan maybe be a little 'off colour' and then if anyone asks then don't deny it

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!

nimnom · 18/12/2007 12:59

Haven't read the whole thread but I was in the early stages of both of my pregnancies at Christmas and had to tell people, particularly with the first. We had loads of nights out and a skiing trip planned for Christams so there was no way out. With ds2 I was feeling so rough that a couple of my friends guessed before I'd even told them!
Have a nice Christmas

Mummywannabe · 18/12/2007 13:12

I'm in the same boat and will be 12 weeks on boxing day. Scan not till the 3rd, gonna tell family (parents/siblings know) on Xmas day as will be obvious to anyone that looks! Just goona say its early days and don't wanna get too carried away etc etc. But in reality we are such a close family if anything went wrong they would know anyway. Its personal choice and a decision only you can make. Good luck and Congratulations!

LadySnowsAlot · 18/12/2007 13:17

say you are on anti biotics?

LoveAngelGabriel · 18/12/2007 13:20

I wouldn't say anything. Let them think what they like! Smile sweetly and say 'could be!' if they say 'You're not pregnant, are you?' when you refrain from a glass of wine. Seriously, people generally understand that until that 12 week scan, most folks don't want to say anything.

p.s. the anti-biotics excuse just screams 'I am PREGNANT!'

cityangel · 21/12/2007 00:14

FourPlusOne I am in the same boat 9 weeks.. I really don't want them to guess (my first) until after my scan in Jan... let me know how you get on!

lewy · 21/12/2007 00:29

I was in a similar boat last Christmas, DS born July! Its a tricky situation but we did tell parents, it was like a little secret just amounst the six of us. I totally understand waiting for the scan as we had 2 miscarriages previosuly and felt uneasy about saying we were pregnant until 12 weeks but my thougth behind it was that if something did go wrong I would tell our parents anyway for their help and support.

popkorn · 21/12/2007 00:33

i announced my pregnancy (10 weeks) on xmas day just before lunch... it did wonders to me- i didn't lift a finger all Christmas!

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