Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

38 week scan - Sex found out and now in trouble! DH won't talk to me...

65 replies

naturemum · 15/12/2007 18:32

Hello

I had a scan at 38 weeks on Thursday to see if I was going to have another big baby (DS 9lbs 7oz at birth) and really wanted to find out the sex but DH didn't. So, scanner wrote the sex and sealed in envelope for us to open/or not if we wanted to.

We decided that we would open it together Xmas Day but last night as I was sitting at home on my own (DH works evenings) curiosity got the better of me and I opened it!!

Thrilled to find out I'm having a girl.

DH came home from work and I felt that I should tell him that I had opened it otherwise I would have been hiding something from him for 10 days and we are always very open - no secrets.

He was so utterly disappointed and still is. Has spent all day in bed with a 'headache' and when he did get up he looked as though someone had died. Doesn't even want to think about the baby!

Please help me feel better about the situation!! Was I wrong to want to know?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

naturemum · 15/12/2007 19:13

Perhaps it would be better to wait until the birth now. Fingers crossed she comes early!

OP posts:

SantasLittleStresshead · 15/12/2007 19:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

edam · 15/12/2007 19:17

You're the one pushing the baby out of your fanjo, I think you had every right to open the bloody envelope.

beansprout · 15/12/2007 19:17

I think it was all over from the moment you were handed the envelope. It would be an absolutely amazing feat of willpower on your part not to have opened it. At thia stage you are SO, SO pregnant and can't wait to meet your baby so anything that makes you feel like you are a step nearer to that is a very understandable thing to do. When you are carrying a baby every minute of the day and night, it's a different relationship to the one he has.

SHEENA1 · 15/12/2007 19:30

why are all these people having a go your te one carrying the baby ur the one that keeps u awake kicks you makes you tired men only have the easy bit its us that has 9 months of carrying it maybe i am selfish but i think if the mother wants to know what she having then she should .

noonar · 15/12/2007 19:39

the first thing that occurred to me when i read about your dh's reaction was...was he hoping for a boy???

(girls are fab, btw . i have 2 )

dara · 15/12/2007 19:39

I agree with Edam.
He's being such a child.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 15/12/2007 20:04

You were wrong. He didn't want to know, you'd agreed to find out together on Christmas day and you went ahead and found out by yourself. That's really unkind. Awful.

fishie · 15/12/2007 20:07

i think it was unrealistic for you to have had custody of/access to the envelope. it was waiting to happen really and i think you both know that.

ChaCha · 15/12/2007 20:12

Congratulations

Your DH will get over it soon enough, male ego and is feeling rejected and having a sulk/strop over it. It will all be a drop in the ocean when she makes her arrival soon enough.

Congratulations to you both And don't feel bad, you are about to have a baby, enjoy yourself and relax

Magnolia36 · 15/12/2007 21:01

Congratulations!

I agree - sooo not the crime of the century - and I don't understand why so many folks have said it was awful of you - I wouldn't have been able to wait either.

Original poster

naturemum · 16/12/2007 08:32

Glad to hear the support and understanding - thanks girls! I didn't need to be told I had done wrong - I knew that. But, just to be understood. As, beansprout and Sheena1 said I have been carrying the baby and awake half the night being kicked in the ribs or suffering from pregnancy insomnia, as well as getting up to my toddler who has decided that he wants to stay awake in the middle of the night! I just wanted a little reward and a feeling of getting closer to the end.

He is going to wait until Christmas Day and I can't wait to make it really special for him!

OP posts:

LadyTophamHatt · 16/12/2007 08:39

t What happen if the baby comes before christmas day anyway?? would he wait until the big day to to find out then

My Dh would have laughed at me if I'd done that.
The way i see it its a choice of 2...boy or girl. Its not that much of a surprise. There isn't a chioce of fifty!

He'll get over it, and IMo you should worry about it...

LadyTophamHatt · 16/12/2007 08:41

shouldn't worry about it.

(nice to see my typos havn't changed while being away, eh??)

edam · 16/12/2007 08:42

Good point LTH!

sandcastles · 16/12/2007 09:21

But on the other hand (thanks to my dh for his input) your dh doesn't get the kicks & the movements (not matter how wearing they are for you now), doesn't get to have anything tangible (except your bump of course) so I can understand why this was so important to him.

This is all he had until the birth & I can understand his upset.

I am sure you'd be more than a little upset if it were the other way around.

But I also understand your curiosity. I would have had dh hide it if it were me...I would open it & reseal it long before now!

Snowmond · 16/12/2007 09:26

Not sure I could have waited either, congratulations and good luck.

You can make it really special for him, just don't go out buying pink clothes and leaving them lying around!

Oblomov · 16/12/2007 09:44

I am sure I would not have been able to wait. But, you did make an agreement with your dh. You did wrong to open it. But then you know this. It will all blow over very quickly.

QuintessentialShadowOfSnowball · 16/12/2007 09:52

Our friends had this problem. She wanted to know, he wanted to wait till the baby was born. They agreed that she could know but not tell him. Fine, only that she was sooo keen to share it with him, she were dropping lots of hints by leaving out bags from Mothercare, full of pink and frilly stuff. He was not pleased, but he was able to see the funny side.

Congratulations!

jennymac · 19/12/2007 12:36

I think he is over-reacting a bit. My DH would have been very annoyed in the same circumstances but wouldn't have taken himself to bed over it! At the end of the day, you and the baby are healthy and that is all that matters.

Mistymoo · 19/12/2007 12:45

What I want to know is - are you having another big baby (see OP)?

Janus · 19/12/2007 12:45

I could so see me having a peek too!!! But, I would also understand dp being cheesed off with me but would probably have blamed pregnancy hormones!!
How about getting the prettiest GAP newborn girl's outfit you can find (or similar) and wrapping it up as one of his Xmas presents so he can find out that way?? Ah, sweet!

deaconblue · 19/12/2007 13:01

really unfair to open it without him, he must have been looking forward to finding out on Christmas Day. I think you've got some major grovelling to do.

notmyrtle · 19/12/2007 13:32

Congratulations! I think he's being an idiot and oh so precious ... poor dear.

babylove21 · 22/12/2007 23:16

Your man will get over it, although i can imagine some sarcasim will be floating your way for a while. He has every right to be annoyed. Men feel isolated enough from pregnancy without being deliberatly left out - and yes i know you didnt do it to leave him out, but thats quite likely how it will feel to him.
I hope you've got him a great xmas present to cheer him up and make him feel special .

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread