HELP! Anyone else not meeting up/going out due to fears of covid??24 weeks!

[Tra06]

I should add I’m a doctor but stopped seeing patients face to face as I was constantly getting coughs and fevers booked in around 20 weeks.

For the past four weeks pregnancy has seemed much more ‘real to me’. This is my second pregnancy of 2021- my first time pregnant ended in an loss at 11 weeks. I’ve been pregnant since December 2020 bar 3 months off!!

Throughout it, on and off ive been anxious and extra cautious and chose to meet people outdoors/lateral flow. But as soon as I felt baby kick I’ve become so protective and literally havnt met a soul for a month. All my friends don’t understand my fears and are hanging out in big groups. My husband also isn’t that supportive, and we’ve regularly argued about my concerns because he feels it’s unfounded that I’m going overboard. He often peoples with people for dinners and we sleep in separate rooms on those nights because I’m doing so much to prevent me getting covid that the thought of catching it from him makes me feel silly.

I don’t feel down about it/isolated- if anything I feel positive because all I want is for baby to be safe and I feel calmer knowing I can do this by staying home! But a lot of comments from other people, mainly passive aggressive like ‘oh guess we won’t see you for your whole pregnancy’ sometimes bug me.

Am I the only woman currently pregnant living like this??

To add- I’ve literally done all I can to protect baby. I’m TRIPLE jabbed (got my booster over the weekend) and staying home, masking up at work (still work in the hospital but just doing telephone consults)…am I really crazy?? Am I setting a terrible cycle that I can’t break with a newborn? Advice please!!!

I don’t think you are being overly anxious. I think you are being sensible. I’m 39wks. I reduced contact with my family (early in pregnancy) due to siblings living in London and going on public transport. If I do meet them, I try and meet outside or both of us wear masks inside or ask them to lateral flow test. They might think it’s a bit OTT, but they seem to be understanding. My friends have been great and understand.

I have been to a couple of events with other people - 1 wedding (just went for the church ceremony not party - and wore a mask). And 1 retirement party - the other guests were low risk and tested beforehand and I stayed outside in the garden.

After the retirement party my son got a cough, so we got a pcr test- but turnaround time was quite long, so had to cancel my midwife appt (as they advised that it was too high risk if a member of my household was awaiting a pcr - though I did not have the problem). Short-staffing in midwifery meant that it took another 2weeks for me to get another appt - and there had been about 6wk gap. Things were fine - but I kinda feel justified in my caution.

@Tra06

Congratulations on your pregnancy and you're definitely not alone in being careful!

Fellow healthcare professional here, just starting third trimester and like you I'm being very cautious about COVID risks. I've worked frontline in this pandemic and have seen too many people die from it or be left with long-term consequences to be willing to be blasé about the risks and my baby's safety.

Triple-jabbed, masks, hand hygiene, distancing, regular LFTs, meeting up only with people I trust to take this virus seriously... It's a small price to pay to protect my baby for a few more months. Would I like to go out for a busy evening out in town? Of course, but the town will still be there in a few months, so it's not worth risking the potential complications in my opinion. We have to choose which risks we're willing to take, which potential outcomes we can live with.

@FreshFreesias, @SweetBabyCheeses99, I think working on the frontline has meant a lot of healthcare professionals are painfully aware of the risks of COVID-19 for vulnerable people and in pregnancy, so we may have a different view on the tolerability of the risks of it. I wouldn't consider that health anxiety or something we need to seek help for - it's very much based in reality. The emerging data for vaccinated people catching COVID in pregnancy is reassuring so far, I'd like to see how the next couple of months go before making any big changes to my risk management approaches though.

Risk is part of life, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to mitigate the avoidable risks. We mitigate the risks of car accidents every day, by wearing seatbelts, driving vehicles which a roadworthy, observing speed limits, not driving intoxicated/overtired, etc. Taking precautions to mitigate against a potentially very serious virus is not unreasonable.

I dont think youre being unreasonable at all.

I work in a profession where I didnt have the option to work from home from 28 weeks. I also have to be client facing and whilst all staff wore face masks all day, clients often point blank refuse.
I started my maternity leave at 37 weeks and so far have had 1 week off (god i need it!).
DH works in london but for the majority of the last 18months has been working from home. His boss reinstated office work in september one day a week which DH was obliged to do.
But come the begining of november, he requested home working only as if he contracts covid, he cant be at the birth.
Since november we have only seen one parent because they are housebound. All other family members have been advised that we wont be seeing them face to face and they have been fine with this.
Ive put off seeing friends because i dont want to risk exposure now.
Most people think im being OTT but to be honest, i dont care.
I dont want covid. I dont want DH to get covid. I dont want to risk the midwives or doctors catching covid from me if i were to be unlucky.
At the end of the day youre putting your health and your unborn babies health first.
I dont think there is anything wrong with that.

I am 16 weeks and haven't made any changes to my social plans due to Covid. I don't really meet up with friends that much but I have a 3 year old at nursery, and take her to soft play, discos, museums and other indoor attractions with busy crowds. Use public transport everywhere as we're in London and don't drive, and we're flying overseas on holiday in a few weeks. We've booked for lots of Christmassy theatre shows and festivals over the next month. I don't think it would be fair on my preschooler to cut down on her activities, especially as she's missed out on so much in the past couple of years.

I've just had my booster and I wear a mask when it's mandated on public transport, but don't always wear it in other places.

After today’s press conference and the degree of uncertainty, I’m definitely adopting your stringent measures @Tra06.

What a worry this is.

I’m 39 weeks tomorrow and have been on a personal ‘lockdown’ since 37 weeks...I’ve already got a 2 year old daughter at nursery so I couldn’t really do much prior to this...but decided to take her out of nursery for my last few weeks of mat leave..still taking her to play parks and walks every day as can’t just keep her inside but I think it must reduce the risk a fair bit. My husband is self employed so also working from home...the only exposure we have is my midwife appointments so hopefully can make it to the end now! I don’t think it’s OTT but I can imagine it’s difficult especially when your partner isn’t on board..very rubbish times to be pregnant and have little people to look after :(

Im 25 weeks now and had a very bad cough/cold a few weeks ago to that stage that i had a PCR test to rule covid out. I had been to a show the week before with 1000's of other people so guessing i caught it from someone there even though i wore a mask. I felt like i had let my baby down before she is even born and ended up crying for most of the 20 min drive home from the test place. I am still doing normal stuff that i have had planned but being alot more careful and only really seeing 3 work colleagues for work & my parents/brothers family.

Due to go to a christmas party in 3 weeks, all my company are doing LFT in the morning so only going for the meal when ill be sat with the people in my company then will be leaving once everyone starts mixing.

I'm 31 weeks and have been signed off work for pregnancy-related illness for about a month. I'm due to go back next week, but I'm a high school teacher and it really worries me. Not only are my colleagues generally lax with all social distancing and mask-wearing, but even when the students are supposed to wear masks, they just don't. It's impossible policing it as none of my colleagues ever enforce it, including my bosses. I also work in a tiny classroom that is extremely difficult to ventilate.

I'm seen Covid rip around the schools several times and watched colleagues get sick (one of them, in her 40s, ended up in ICU for weeks and now has severe Long Covid; another colleague lost a brother and father; just this week, another colleague lost her father). I do not want to be one of them, so I think it's sensible. I'm hoping the doctor will recommend that I work from home, especially with this new variant.

[quote Scirocco]@Tra06

Congratulations on your pregnancy and you're definitely not alone in being careful!

Fellow healthcare professional here, just starting third trimester and like you I'm being very cautious about COVID risks. I've worked frontline in this pandemic and have seen too many people die from it or be left with long-term consequences to be willing to be blasé about the risks and my baby's safety.

Triple-jabbed, masks, hand hygiene, distancing, regular LFTs, meeting up only with people I trust to take this virus seriously... It's a small price to pay to protect my baby for a few more months. Would I like to go out for a busy evening out in town? Of course, but the town will still be there in a few months, so it's not worth risking the potential complications in my opinion. We have to choose which risks we're willing to take, which potential outcomes we can live with.

@FreshFreesias, @SweetBabyCheeses99, I think working on the frontline has meant a lot of healthcare professionals are painfully aware of the risks of COVID-19 for vulnerable people and in pregnancy, so we may have a different view on the tolerability of the risks of it. I wouldn't consider that health anxiety or something we need to seek help for - it's very much based in reality. The emerging data for vaccinated people catching COVID in pregnancy is reassuring so far, I'd like to see how the next couple of months go before making any big changes to my risk management approaches though.

Risk is part of life, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to mitigate the avoidable risks. We mitigate the risks of car accidents every day, by wearing seatbelts, driving vehicles which a roadworthy, observing speed limits, not driving intoxicated/overtired, etc. Taking precautions to mitigate against a potentially very serious virus is not unreasonable.[/quote]
Sorry for the late reply- honestly couldn’t have summed it up better myself. I’ll never forget my first patient I saw in a&e with covid who passed away the next day in March 2020, may God bless their soul. It was just the week before lockdown.

I’ve got 2 more weeks of attending work and then I’m working from home and I plan on just totally hibernating apart from hospital visits. If this new strain manages to evade the vaccines I’m sure we’ll hear about it in 5 months time!

Stay safe, and Thankyou for putting your advice
across so eloquently

@Nowinapanic451

I'm 31 weeks and have been signed off work for pregnancy-related illness for about a month. I'm due to go back next week, but I'm a high school teacher and it really worries me. Not only are my colleagues generally lax with all social distancing and mask-wearing, but even when the students are supposed to wear masks, they just don't. It's impossible policing it as none of my colleagues ever enforce it, including my bosses. I also work in a tiny classroom that is extremely difficult to ventilate.

I'm seen Covid rip around the schools several times and watched colleagues get sick (one of them, in her 40s, ended up in ICU for weeks and now has severe Long Covid; another colleague lost a brother and father; just this week, another colleague lost her father). I do not want to be one of them, so I think it's sensible. I'm hoping the doctor will recommend that I work from home, especially with this new variant.

Oh Gosh that sounds so draining - my work has regular meetings where they choose to sit in a tiny room with no masks despite knowing I’m with child…I’ve started refusing to go recently because it’s more exhausting asking each person to put their masks on!!

I sincerely hope you can work from home now. Official RCOG guidance for employers states a pregnant woman can choose whether she has to attend in person or not. It’s clear that you are safer at home.

Hope the rest of your pregnancy passes smoothly

@Roo9875

I’m 39 weeks tomorrow and have been on a personal ‘lockdown’ since 37 weeks...I’ve already got a 2 year old daughter at nursery so I couldn’t really do much prior to this...but decided to take her out of nursery for my last few weeks of mat leave..still taking her to play parks and walks every day as can’t just keep her inside but I think it must reduce the risk a fair bit. My husband is self employed so also working from home...the only exposure we have is my midwife appointments so hopefully can make it to the end now! I don’t think it’s OTT but I can imagine it’s difficult especially when your partner isn’t on board..very rubbish times to be pregnant and have little people to look after :(

You’re doing the right thing for baby in belly and your girl IMO! Home stretch so it would be fab to be able to give birth without the added pain of covid! I know a doctor friend who caught it whilst in labour and ended up in hospital for a week just trying to recover, let alone breast feeding and heal from her c-section.

I tell you- being a woman is the hardest job in the world

As you're a doctor, how do you advise your highly vulnerable patients to live? Anyone on cancer treatment or post-transplant for example (those in the group who had third primary and whose booster will be their fourth jab) Are you telling them only to go out for essential medical appointments?

Pregnant women are not at greater risk than that group

Living in isolation (such as when that group were advised to shield, and with paused and post shielding advice on minimisation) is really, really tough. And of course very hard to achieve unless you live alone or all your cohabitants also choose to withdraw with you

@nether

As you're a doctor, how do you advise your highly vulnerable patients to live? Anyone on cancer treatment or post-transplant for example (those in the group who had third primary and whose booster will be their fourth jab) Are you telling them only to go out for essential medical appointments?

Pregnant women are not at greater risk than that group

Living in isolation (such as when that group were advised to shield, and with paused and post shielding advice on minimisation) is really, really tough. And of course very hard to achieve unless you live alone or all your cohabitants also choose to withdraw with you

Majority of the highly vulnerable patients I see decide themselves on their boundaries and my job is to support them with that.

Last week I had a patient in their 50s who was on an immunosuppressant for arthritis who hasn’t left his bedroom since 2020 essentially. Kids homeschooled. My mother is on that same drug for the same indication and is operating every day since September 2020. Humans have free will

If your question was meant to ask - what do I ‘think’ personally people should do in that category? Weigh up the importance of socialising vs becoming possibly very sick. People’s priorities lie differently - I know mine lie personally with getting baby out as healthy as possible.

Our of interest, have you ever seen someone die of COVID?

No, I have a highly vulnerable immune suppressed person in the household, so I was coming at the question from the POC of shielding for 24 weeks of 2020, and shielding and restrictions thereafter (there was a time when in the immediately preceding 52 weeks, the isolation of shielding was in place for 34 of them)

And my question wasn't 'what do those patients do?' but 'what advice would you give them?' I know a great deal about the former (from various groups) and am specifically interested in the latter. And I take it from your answer that you do not actually advise them - you expect them to make decisions based on whatever sources they have come across and you'll support anything.

Nearly 30 weeks here. I was starting to take more risks I.e. socialising more, but still wearing a mask, before this strain came about. I am pretty terrified now tbh, although I haven't spoken to anyone IRL about it. it feels like there's been a total reset as we don't know how effective the vaccine will be. I have other DC and also keep worrying about leaving them without a parent. These are scary times for the clinically vulnerable.

I’m 34 weeks and I’ve been very very quiet socially during my pregnancy! I’ve been at work so somewhat exposed to others but I’ve deliberately avoided situations that I think are more risk. Seems logical to me. I don’t want to catch Covid now so close to the end & I want a relaxed, simple lead up to meeting my baby. I’m not going on public transport (I have no need to anyway) & wearing a mask in closed public spaces etc. I don’t think you are anxious, I think you are being sensible op!! Xo

@nether

No, I have a highly vulnerable immune suppressed person in the household, so I was coming at the question from the POC of shielding for 24 weeks of 2020, and shielding and restrictions thereafter (there was a time when in the immediately preceding 52 weeks, the isolation of shielding was in place for 34 of them)

And my question wasn't 'what do those patients do?' but 'what advice would you give them?' I know a great deal about the former (from various groups) and am specifically interested in the latter. And I take it from your answer that you do not actually advise them - you expect them to make decisions based on whatever sources they have come across and you'll support anything.

I advise them to weigh up the pros and cons and ideally stay as safe as they can be whilst maintaining good mental health, as high anxiety can have physical manifestations also. I tell people to mask up in closed environments and if they feel it’s imperative they attend a gathering, to all do lateral flows as this can pick up asymptomatic spreaders who wouldn’t otherwise go for a PCR test…

But as I hope you know, a doctors job isn’t to dictate what someone can and cannot do… ultimately as an adult we can only give advice and it’s up to the person receiving it to decide what they would like to do.

@sjxoxo

I’m 34 weeks and I’ve been very very quiet socially during my pregnancy! I’ve been at work so somewhat exposed to others but I’ve deliberately avoided situations that I think are more risk. Seems logical to me. I don’t want to catch Covid now so close to the end & I want a relaxed, simple lead up to meeting my baby. I’m not going on public transport (I have no need to anyway) & wearing a mask in closed public spaces etc. I don’t think you are anxious, I think you are being sensible op!! Xo

So exciting getting closer to due date, isn’t it!! Thankyou so much. It’s so nice to hear I’m not alone in protecting myself temporarily ahead of babies entrance to the world! I cannot wait

I'm 24 weeks and triple vaccinated. I work as a midwife and I am still patient facing. I feel reassured by being vaccinated. I'm going to continue working face to face unless I'm told otherwise. Good luck with your pregnancy!

@Pac35

I'm 24 weeks and triple vaccinated. I work as a midwife and I am still patient facing. I feel reassured by being vaccinated. I'm going to continue working face to face unless I'm told otherwise. Good luck with your pregnancy!

You’re amazing!! I really hope the rest of your pregnancy goes by smoothly - women like you deserve medals. My heart goes out to all the midwives working over Christmas- in my trust it’s evident how stretched thin they are, hoping yours is much better

@nether

As you're a doctor, how do you advise your highly vulnerable patients to live? Anyone on cancer treatment or post-transplant for example (those in the group who had third primary and whose booster will be their fourth jab) Are you telling them only to go out for essential medical appointments?

Pregnant women are not at greater risk than that group

Living in isolation (such as when that group were advised to shield, and with paused and post shielding advice on minimisation) is really, really tough. And of course very hard to achieve unless you live alone or all your cohabitants also choose to withdraw with you

Er, but there is a risk to the child, even if you don't care about the risk to yourself!

To be honest I think you are wise. If you can avoid risk then do it.

Thankyou!! I said the same sentiment- maybe abit to strongly and it got deleted