HELP! Anyone else not meeting up/going out due to fears of covid??24 weeks!

[Tra06]

I should add I’m a doctor but stopped seeing patients face to face as I was constantly getting coughs and fevers booked in around 20 weeks.

For the past four weeks pregnancy has seemed much more ‘real to me’. This is my second pregnancy of 2021- my first time pregnant ended in an loss at 11 weeks. I’ve been pregnant since December 2020 bar 3 months off!!

Throughout it, on and off ive been anxious and extra cautious and chose to meet people outdoors/lateral flow. But as soon as I felt baby kick I’ve become so protective and literally havnt met a soul for a month. All my friends don’t understand my fears and are hanging out in big groups. My husband also isn’t that supportive, and we’ve regularly argued about my concerns because he feels it’s unfounded that I’m going overboard. He often peoples with people for dinners and we sleep in separate rooms on those nights because I’m doing so much to prevent me getting covid that the thought of catching it from him makes me feel silly.

I don’t feel down about it/isolated- if anything I feel positive because all I want is for baby to be safe and I feel calmer knowing I can do this by staying home! But a lot of comments from other people, mainly passive aggressive like ‘oh guess we won’t see you for your whole pregnancy’ sometimes bug me.

Am I the only woman currently pregnant living like this??

To add- I’ve literally done all I can to protect baby. I’m TRIPLE jabbed (got my booster over the weekend) and staying home, masking up at work (still work in the hospital but just doing telephone consults)…am I really crazy?? Am I setting a terrible cycle that I can’t break with a newborn? Advice please!!!

It’s really difficult, isn’t it. I have the same attitude as you - can’t be too careful at the moment. I’m double jabbed and I’m not meeting anyone indoors under any circumstances. I’m having my booster soon, after that I’ll relax a little, and will see 3-4 people indoors after negative lateral flow tests. My partner and I don’t see eye to eye on this either and that’s hard. I really relate to what you’ve said about how you feel. I don’t feel sad, or like I am missing out - I just feel happy to be able to protect my baby! I know triple vaccination is the best protection but ultimately I don’t want a new disease while pregnant, full stop. As you’re a doctor can I ask you how much you know about covid in pregnancy after vaccines? There’s basically no information available on how dangerous it could be, how it could harm baby or not, etc. which drives me to be extra cautious.

Please seek help for your health anxiety.

I’m being extra careful now (28 + 5). Maybe not quite as extremely as you are but I am petrified of catching Covid now. My MW advised to WFH from 28 weeks (which due to other circumstances, I started WFH from 24 + 1). I think it’s sensible to take extra precautions now, even with the booster (I’m getting mine in a week or so).
Thinking ahead to newborn days, I’m making plans for how visits will work. I don’t think anyone can criticise a pregnant woman or a new parent for being extra careful.

I'm double jabbed (waiting for booster) and heavily pregnant and have been going out and about every day and meeting people, unless they've had positive Covid tests or any other nasty infection. That's only because I'm waiting to pop any day now and don't fancy giving birth while unwell! I had the choice of working from home but went into the office most days.

Your thinking is very extreme and I would try not to worry so much, otherwise you're in for a very long pregnancy and newborn period.

Keep going with your caution OP. The niece of DH's colleague died from covid while pregnant - so shocking and tragic. The risks are greater.

It doesnt take much for 1 of the people at 1 of these gatherings to say 2 days later, I've tested positive...

I'm struggling with anxiety about Covid too. It feels like the whole country is relaxing again just when I want to shield more than I ever have done before! Feels like the world is moving on without me. And there's so much on the news about covid being dangerous is pregnancy but I feel it's mainly to encourage unvaccinated women to get vaxxed.

I'm just trying to reassure myself that, as I am double vaxxed, it is still unlikely I would become seriously ill (especially at this stage, 15 weeks) of pregnancy. And there's no evidence of harm to baby either. That's what my understanding is anyway. My understanding is it's more dangerous the later you get/around birth. Until then I'll be safe but still want to allow myself a little bit of freedom. I do worry about socialising at Christmas.

I fell pregnant the month after my second dose and I had a really weird cycle that month before too (my period came very early, which I attributed to the vaccine). I am very much not anti-vax but I can't shake the nervousness about getting booster while pregnant (worried it will bring on bleeding again). I don't want to hurt my baby! But just trying to stick to as much facts as poss and not let myself by scared by unofficial sources. I've got to remember that all the evidence points to vaccination being much safer than actually getting covid in pregnancy!

Wishing everyone who's worried about Covid a smooth pregnancy x

Each to their own. I'm 24 weeks pregnant and quite happily probably constantly exposed to covid. I'm forever at softplay etc with my 3 year old and my nhs frontline dh is always bringing home all sorts of germs. I literally couldn't care less and am glad of the exposure. The way you're living isn't healthy and your body needs to be exposed to bugs etc to build immunity.

I think if you're happy with essentially shielding then carry on.
I'm also a doctor, I'm still seeing patients up until I go on mat leave at 36 weeks. Just no coughs/fevers unless they have a negative PCR.
I also have a 3 year old at nursery. I think it's very different when it's not your first as you can't keep your child away from everyone so there seems little point in avoiding everything else. Plus my husband is currently working on a covid ward.
I'm avoiding big crowds but still taking her to classes and soft plays etc. Also been to a wedding and going to a small comedy gig in December.
I mask wear and am triple vaccinated. The risk is very low so long as you're vaccinated but do whatever you're comfortable with.

Do you still drive to work? You’re much more likely to be seriously injured in a car crash than by covid so if you want to be “safe” you’d just have to lock yourself up at home forever. I think you need to get some perspective or you risk passing on this anxiety to your child.

So far there hasn’t been specific data that I know of looking at covid severity in pregnant women but the only thing for certain is those unvaccinated are ending up in ITU quickly (specially third trimester!), and when I was on obstetrics last year we had so many emergency c-sections in covid positive mums :(

Just like you I’d love to know that getting vaccinated means that I’m no more at threat of harming baby than I would be if I wasn’t pregnant and got covid! But I guess only time will tell. My thinking is physiologically (with my dr cap on), we’re at a slightly increased risk of being slightly sicker because our lungs just don’t get enough space! And being limited on a lot of meds due to baby means probably feeling abit rougher if we got it God forbid.

Thankyou so much for making me feel valid and ‘normal’ in my feelings!! It’s so so nice to hear I’m not alone because often times it truly does feel like I’m going mad! I honestly think I’d feel safer in another country where everyone would be masked up etc, but hey Ho at least we can come home and be safe eh? How far along are you, if you don’t mind me asking!

@FreshFreesias

Please seek help for your health anxiety.

But who does the town clown go to make him laugh - I don’t feel like I have health anxiety because if anything I’m the only one I know who hasn’t had covid yet?

@chillied

Keep going with your caution OP. The niece of DH's colleague died from covid while pregnant - so shocking and tragic. The risks are greater.

It doesnt take much for 1 of the people at 1 of these gatherings to say 2 days later, I've tested positive...

Oh gosh I’m so sorry to hear that. This is what’s happened to me multiple times in my early pregnancies! In fact I’m still getting colleagues tell me their children have tested positive whilst they sit near me unmasked But thank God I’ve managed to scrape through and it’s probably just because I’ve constantly kept my mask on

@Sarah239

I'm struggling with anxiety about Covid too. It feels like the whole country is relaxing again just when I want to shield more than I ever have done before! Feels like the world is moving on without me. And there's so much on the news about covid being dangerous is pregnancy but I feel it's mainly to encourage unvaccinated women to get vaxxed.

I'm just trying to reassure myself that, as I am double vaxxed, it is still unlikely I would become seriously ill (especially at this stage, 15 weeks) of pregnancy. And there's no evidence of harm to baby either. That's what my understanding is anyway. My understanding is it's more dangerous the later you get/around birth. Until then I'll be safe but still want to allow myself a little bit of freedom. I do worry about socialising at Christmas.

I fell pregnant the month after my second dose and I had a really weird cycle that month before too (my period came very early, which I attributed to the vaccine). I am very much not anti-vax but I can't shake the nervousness about getting booster while pregnant (worried it will bring on bleeding again). I don't want to hurt my baby! But just trying to stick to as much facts as poss and not let myself by scared by unofficial sources. I've got to remember that all the evidence points to vaccination being much safer than actually getting covid in pregnancy!

Wishing everyone who's worried about Covid a smooth pregnancy x

Totally related to your first paragraph- with a steady 30,000+ cases daily it seems like the only way is to isolate essentially because at this point anyone could have it, and yet every is meeting up in big groups! It’s super interesting how much the media can influence the masses.

If I can help with anything, I really really hope I can reassure you about getting your booster pregnant!!
Here’s some pro points
Early studies are emerging that show being vaccinated in pregnancy can actually pass on antibodies (protective cells) to your baby!! It’s not 100% confirmed for all but we get the whooping cough with this thought process, so it’s very scientifically viable
Another point- like you I had two AZ for my first rounds and my periods messed up majorly. I just had pfizer 4 days ago and literally 0 issues! Your first vaccine experiences sound like they may have been due to AZ like me, and there hasn’t been any data to show increased risk of miscarriage/stillbirth with the vaccine

As you’re a doctor do you mind me jumping in and asking if you can share more about the effects of covid on vaccinated women and their babies. Part of the issue I think is that all the info out there seems to be aimed at unvaccinated women. Would love to see some stats or data on outcomes for vaccinated women!

@firstimemamma

Each to their own. I'm 24 weeks pregnant and quite happily probably constantly exposed to covid. I'm forever at softplay etc with my 3 year old and my nhs frontline dh is always bringing home all sorts of germs. I literally couldn't care less and am glad of the exposure. The way you're living isn't healthy and your body needs to be exposed to bugs etc to build immunity.

Wishing you all the best with the rest of your pregnancy!

I am 15 weeks 😃

Still working face to face until 34 weeks but I ask anyone I socialise with indoors to lateral flow these days (I'm now 31 weeks) and will definitely be reducing social contact after 36 weeks, I don't want anything to cause more complications for my delivery or my partner being there with me!
Oh and I will be getting a covid booster jab in a couple of weeks time

@SweetBabyCheeses99

Do you still drive to work? You’re much more likely to be seriously injured in a car crash than by covid so if you want to be “safe” you’d just have to lock yourself up at home forever. I think you need to get some perspective or you risk passing on this anxiety to your child.

Maybe I didn’t clarify this in the post- but I have 0 anxieties about anything else…God forbid if I were to go it would be my time regardless, but there are certain things that are realistic to uphold, such as not meeting with groups of friends, and becoming housebound for fear of being ran over. Hope that clears up my thought process!!

Also once you lose a baby naturally (I had to pass the baby out in my bath at home feb 2021, in its sac, completely whole, for my first pregnancy), you never want to go through it again! You just want the next time to be ‘normal’ and hold baby alive in your arms. So willing to forfeit socializing if it means 0.0001% chance of me experiencing that God willing

@SouthwestSis

Still working face to face until 34 weeks but I ask anyone I socialise with indoors to lateral flow these days (I'm now 31 weeks) and will definitely be reducing social contact after 36 weeks, I don't want anything to cause more complications for my delivery or my partner being there with me! Oh and I will be getting a covid booster jab in a couple of weeks time

I’ve tried this tactic but met a lot of resistance! What do you do when friends say no?

@Lagirl20

I am 15 weeks 😃

Congrats!! Hope it’s going easy for you.

Haven’t seen official data apart from that it’s clear all the severe cases are unvaccinated women. So we’re doing the best thing to protect baby by being vaccinated!

@FreshFreesias

Please seek help for your health anxiety.

Thank you for your advice

@Tra06 I guess I have been lucky that all of my friends have appreciated this reasonable request.
Anyone who can't be arsed to swab their nose to help protect me and my baby during just these few months during the time when I'm more vulnerable isn't worthy of my friendship in my view!

[quote SouthwestSis]@Tra06 I guess I have been lucky that all of my friends have appreciated this reasonable request.
Anyone who can't be arsed to swab their nose to help protect me and my baby during just these few months during the time when I'm more vulnerable isn't worthy of my friendship in my view![/quote]
You sound like you have great friends! I probably need to reevaluate my friendships
I let them off because a lot of them don’t have children and have had covid in 2020, so they’re completely over masks and testing- but it just means I have no one to really hang out with. Oh well- still counting all my blessings

@tierneytarny

I’m being extra careful now (28 + 5). Maybe not quite as extremely as you are but I am petrified of catching Covid now. My MW advised to WFH from 28 weeks (which due to other circumstances, I started WFH from 24 + 1). I think it’s sensible to take extra precautions now, even with the booster (I’m getting mine in a week or so). Thinking ahead to newborn days, I’m making plans for how visits will work. I don’t think anyone can criticise a pregnant woman or a new parent for being extra careful.

Oh looks like we’re a month apart - yes I’ll start WFH at 28 weeks. I’ve already had my friends say ‘ I didn’t let anyone near my newborn but when yours is born you have to let us come over in the first week’ and I’m like…sure! Swab yourself and come over! Haha.

Thankyou for your kind words!!