To find out the sex of baby or not?

[caz198917]

Hi all. 12 weeks pregnant with baby number 2. I didn't find out the sex of my first baby. I'm torn whether to find out the this time around. I want to know but then I also want the surprise. Has anyone regretted finding out? Thanks 😊

Surprise every time

Congrats 😀

Didn't find out with DC1. Couldn't decide with DC2 and ended up flipping a coin in the waiting room. Coin said find out but that result made us realise we definitely didn't want to, so didnt. You could try that!

Two surprises here! Have a surprise :)

I'm in the keep it a surprise camp too.

Didn't find out with DC1. Our bonding wasn't affected in any way. Realised I really don't care what I have this time, and DC1 barely recognises there's a baby on the way, never mind if it's a brother or sister.

Found out all three times and never once regretted it. Pregnant with a girl after two boys now and while in theory it would have been a lovely surprise to see a girl born (we were convinced it would be a third beautiful boy), I still can't imagine it would have been worth the wait as I've always been too impatient to know!

Found out second time after surprise first time. For me it spoiled the excitement a bit. I don’t think I will find out again.

Go for the surprise! ❤️ Didn't regret it on either occasion - probably stopped me from over spending beforehand too!

Currently 21 weeks with our first baby, and having a surprise. I kind of want to know, but I know I’d regret ruining the surprise

Thanks all! I think after looking at the responses I will go for a surprise! If I change my mind and find out I'll report back 🤣 xx

A bit different here - we had a surprise with our first who was a DD. Sadly she died which meant that I felt we "should" have a family with a girl in it. We didn't find out for DC2 who was a boy and I must admit I felt a little disappointed when he was born and I suspect it did affect my bonding for a while. With DC3 we did find out so I had 5 months to process that we probably won't have another DD. When he was born I only felt joy and delight. So if you've got any secret preferences I would recommend finding out.

I never wanted to know think it takes away something special
Posted on another thread about this,was told people bond better better with the baby if they know the sex. Suppose it's the Dec you don't want,not talking about me,but know it from others. I had written on my notes I didn't want to be told. The midwives etc,were absolutely bursting to tell me

I didn't find out with either. I think you're in a helpful position having not found out before so you can remember what that feels like. I really loved not knowing and think it made the anticipation much more exciting. Never had an issue bonding either.

I've been swaying with my decision on this! We found out with our son who was born in June 2020 and our families missed out on all of the newborn days with him because of Covid. We have decided to do a reveal at Christmas with both of our families as it feels right and something for us all to celebrate together ❤️

I found out with all of mine!

@caz198917 I'm in a real dilemma too! Found out with DD at 16 weeks as I was just too impatient and this time I would LOVE a surprise BUT I like being organised and I want to know whether we need to get all DDs clothes out of the loft to sell or wash to re-use for the next one!!!!! We're also really struggling with names too so the idea of putting loads of energy into finding a name that there's a 50% chance we wouldn't use is unbearable! 😂

What does OH want? Mine would be desperate to find out from a bonding pov, so I think I'd find out just for his sake.

We had a surprise with DD and always thought I'd find out with a second but when it came to it I enjoyed watching the scans and guessing so we had another surprise with DS.

DH and I take FOREVER to decide on a name and twice we decided after the baby was born absolutely would not make us choose 2 names!!! torture!!

I had no interest in "the surprise" (it was a surprise to me at 20 weeks, I don't really see why it would be more special at 40) and no I didn't regret finding out.

I thought long and hard about this but in the end I felt there are enough ‘surprises’ in the world (good and bad) without leaving things up to chance and actually, it was a lovely surprise when we found out at 18 weeks and a special moment between me and my husband without what presumably will be the added chaos of a hospital ward/ birthing situation/ hospital staff etc. No regrets here but do whatever feels natural to you.

For me, surprise every time! But I know some people think it helps prepare the first born for their sibling if you know the sex, so maybe worth thinking about.

Many congrats, I found out with both of mine. I really wanted a boy first time and I was lucky, second time didn’t mind which, and was told another boy. Right on both occasions, my two are 20 and nearly 19 now, very close brothers and best friends. Good luck OP, it’s a really special time

@aSofaNearYou

I had no interest in "the surprise" (it was a surprise to me at 20 weeks, I don't really see why it would be more special at 40) and no I didn't regret finding out.

That's a good point

Surprise! So many people couldn't understand why we wanted a surprise but it made it really special to announce the birth and meant people could buy some lovely blue/pink clothes as gifts which were much appreciated but the bulk of the basics we bought were neutral which I like.

As a pp said, finding out at 20 weeks is still a surprise! We found out with both DC, it was so exciting finding out and gave us plenty of time to choose a name etc. I didn't regret finding out for a second and would do it again