Can new born sleep in own room straight away?

[dolly1]

Says it all really. We were planning to pop him in the nursery from day one. It's not far from our room and I'd rather get up in the night and go through to make sure he gets used to his own room asap.
Is this a good idea or not? Any advice/experiences would be great - thanks

is it too much to ask to want proof?

I take it you've not had a baby in special care? not all babies in special care have a problem with breathing, the point I was making was that they are not near an adult listening to breathing as you suggested they should, and therefore doesn't mean they cannot regulate their own breathing.

And as a parent of multiples, how would you suggest kangaroo care? It wouldn't be a fact of ignoring but a fact of an impossibility.

And with people suggesting that they would be a bad parent not to follow these 'rules' when they may be physically unable to (any parent to be reading this post) isn't very nice.

I've always looked at it this way:

I would want to feel that if the worst happened, God forbid, that I had everything I possibly could to reduce the risk as much as possible.

Do you think FSIDS are just making it up then, DMTea? Is there cast-iron proof that back-to-sleep lowers the risk? After all, babies who sleep on their backs do still, sadly, die from SIDS.

I moved DC1 out of our room at 3 months, mainly because everyone else at my babygroup was and I thought that I should. It was to the room next door. I lasted 1 night before moving DC back in - was so paranoid and kept waking to listen to the monitor! Slept much better when baby was right next to me and DC stayed until about 8 months. DC 2 stayed for similar time. Personally, I found it easier to sleep with them in the room, and made BF easier - especially when past the tiny NB stage and could feed lying down. Neither was a particulary noisy sleeper though so I never had that problem.

Ok, please direct me to the posts where posters have said you're a bad parent if you don't follow these 'rules'. Because I've missed 'em. No-one has said anything except 'these are the guidelines, it's your choice, you might feel diffrently when your baby's here, it's not something I'd choose to do' etc etc etc

No, I haven't had a baby in special care. I have worked in special care, though. I didn't say that all babies in SCBU have breathing problems. I did say that those that so, have them for a variety of reasons. Breathing problems are not caused by being away from a parent, but they can be helped by being close to a parent. I don't see why this shouldn't be the case for multiples - I have looked after sets of twins where the mother was enabled to do kangaroo care. It's often a question of support and a bit of imagination!

As for proof... yes, I do think it's too much to ask, sometimes. That's why humans have the ability to risk-assess, because most of the time we can't prove that x will automatically equal y.

My personal opinion is that if you are advised to do something to decrease the risk of cot death, you should do it.

Erm, as far as I'm aware, there is lots of evidence to show that having your baby sleeping in the same room as you but not the same bed lowers the risk of cot death. I can't understand why anyone would take the risk, frankly, if they were aware of this. It doesn't make you a bad parent if you didn't know but if you do know and don't do it, how would you feel if your baby died?

?The UK?s largest ever cot death study (Fleming, P et al (2000), Sudden Unexpected Deaths in Infancy ? the CESDI/SUDI Studies, The Stationery Office, London) found that babies who did not share a room their parents were 1.96 times more likely to die as a cot death than babies who slept in the same room as their parents but not in the same bed.?

www.clinicalanswers.nhs.uk/index.cfm?question=6390

Do any other mammals hide their newborn offspring in another part of the family home?

I just can't 'compute' why some people would rather play Russian Roulette than cope with a bit of snuffling and snoring

Oh, what would other mammals know, soupy? They go off into dark corners and have their babies, when everyone knows it's so much nicer to do it in the middle of a brightly-lit room with lots of strangers standing around making comments about your fanjo. We're not animals, fgs!

I've told this story before, but at the same time as my mother had my eldest brother, her cat (called Milly I think) had kittens. Whenever my mother was uncertain about what to do/how to behave with my newborn brother, she'd ask herself "what would milly do?".
Her early parenting was based on that of a cat! But makes sense I suppose

[snigger]

It just seems a very odd thing to want to do. It's always been a wrench for me to move them out into their own rooms and I'm not the most naturally maternal of people.

As for giving birth in a dark corner, I watched a sheep giving birth once, twins as it happens, and the bloody mother never looked more than mildly discomfited. Bah! Mind you, it was a brightly lit barn and there were a whole host of people looking at her fanjo and commenting on the birth...

Um, but I digress from the point of the thread. Sorry

I did as DD used to keep me and DH awake with her snoring, etc! I think she was in her own room from about 8 weeks. Not sure what I will do this time.

So remember that story Pooka...

It's just soooo typical of my mum. Always makes me smile.

In an ideal world I would have my 3 and 5 year old sharing my bed and put dh in spare room, but sadly this is not compatible with marraige

I think it is 'natural' and 'right' to have a newborn baby sleeping next to its mother (and I am not an 'earth mother' (naff shorthand but you know what I mean))

I bet your mum is a gem pooka.

She is indeed. Am very lucky to have had such good (if cat derived) advice from her.

Snaf I absolutely agree - I've also worked in SCBU. Kangaroo works like magic - stats improve, temperature stabilises, babies are much more settled & comfortable. I've seen triplet mothers (and fathers) kangaroo all three at once, having multiples isn't an obstacle.

Human beings are incredibly sociable creatures, we're designed to be in groups & young babies really do need to be with their parents.

Thanks for all the information and advice. We have decided to have him sleep in our room for at least the first two months and we'll see how we go from there.
From some of the books I've read putting them in their own room seems to be the thing if you want a 'routine', but I think you are all right, they are just too little at first to be left alone.
And then there is the ease of not having to get out of bed - the more I think about that the more it makes sense!

ds was in his own room from 5 weeks, simply because i woke with every snuffle or snort he made, and dh moved him cos he was worried i was getting exhausted.

it worked for us. We had an armchair in his room, and did night feeds in there. dh took his turn at feeds.

Why don't you decorate the nursery room and prepare cot for when baby is ready to move? At the same time, try to get or borrow a second hand moses basket or little crib to keep baby next to you for as long as it feels safe. Preparing the nursery - providing that you have one - is part of the nice things one does in anticipation of a baby and also baby can be brought in when small to get used to it. However, I also agree with most people here and expert recommendations that to be on the safe side the best way to monitor baby is to keep it next to you for these crucial 6 months.

I kept DS in a moses basket next to my bed until he was about 4.5 months old.

Eventually we moved him because we were disturbing HIM, lol.

He slept much better in his own room.. can't say i did... took me a week to settle into using the monitor.

dd was 6mo when i moved her to her own room if id known about mn then i probably would have done things different.
she slept in moses basket cpl night moved too much didnt like it co-slept til 3mo then went in cot in our room moved cot into her room 6mo(she babbles and snores when asleep), converted to bed 13 mo

Im sorry but it should not be a wait and see situation, there shouldunt be no option. Baby should be in same room beside you no questions about. Why do you want to have him and then just dump him in a alone room, thats terrible. If you ask me, do you consider your sleep to be more important or do you feel weighed down by him! I dont get why people need to put tiny little babies in an alone room. Personally i would have them by me until they are ready, that can be 1,3,6,9 years of age it dont matter.