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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Find out sex or surprise! What did you do?

64 replies

babyboybluex · 08/11/2021 19:59

We are expecting baby two in May and found out the sex for our first baby (boy). We are in two minds about whether to find out again or keep it a surprise (we are happy with either a boy or girl).

What did you do? Did you find out or wait until the big day?

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Cantthinkofaname21 · 08/11/2021 20:03

I found out with my first. Second one we left as a surprise. Like you didn’t mind what it was. When she was born it wasn’t my first question was ages snuggling her before I even asked! I had a planned csection.

Tittyfilarious81 · 08/11/2021 20:05

I was the other way around baby 1 was a surprise but baby 2 I found out because it would be my last baby

HunkyPunk · 08/11/2021 20:10

Surprise x3! (Different births, not triplets!) Never wanted to know beforehand. I think once they’re here, though, it doesn’t matter whether or not you knew. You could go with not knowing this time, just for the different experience

chelev9 · 08/11/2021 20:10

I have an 8 year old and I found out with him. I'm currently 19 weeks and I found out at 15 weeks I am having a boy.
This is my last baby and I am wondering if I should have kept it a surprise but I'm just to nosey 🤣🤣

crumpet · 08/11/2021 20:11

Surprise

Namechangeisgood · 08/11/2021 20:14

The first was a surprise, but we found out with our second. On balance, I prefer knowing - I feel better bonded to this baby, I've been able to prepare our daughter with talk of her baby brother, and I've had a better idea of what to buy (not that I go in for pink or blue - this baby will be wearing white sleepsuits almost exclusively! - but it does help to know whether to avoid florals and frills!).

ShowOfHands · 08/11/2021 20:16

There's no right or wrong answer, only what's right for you.

JackJack84 · 08/11/2021 20:17

It's a surprise for us! Being induced tomorrow so will find out soon 😊

Nat4392 · 08/11/2021 20:18

DD1 was a surprise! it was so wonderful finding out when she was born. I wouldn’t find out with subsequent children either.

QueenLagertha · 08/11/2021 20:19

We had a surprise with DS. Was lovely. Having number two now and going to find out at 20week scan this time if possible

8dpwoah · 08/11/2021 20:23

Surprise with first as it didn't 'matter' and was lovely hearing all the guesses, even the consultants were having a guess when we went in for induction!

Second we found out via a private scan (which was as much because wasn't sure if DP would be allowed to scans so timed the booking of the private one to aim to find out the sex as well as generally let him see his child) so we could tell DD if she was getting a brother or sister to help her with the context, being prepared etc. Plus to sort out the mountain of baby clothes in the loft, if I'm honest!

Both had their advantages, can't say which was best as it just suited us to do it that way.

jackiebenimble · 08/11/2021 20:23

Its such a personal choice. Its a real
Marmite thing. I didn't find out and just can't understand why anyone does. But find that people who do find out can't get their heads around not doing so. Not many things are that polarising.

You have to do whats right for your family. I had a gender neutral nursery blankets and clothes in the newborn size. Not all white and grey lots of lovely lemon yellow and minty green too. So i didn't feel the need to know for shopping or preparing. And i loved them from the minute they started wriggling around without knowing. And i felt that we are labelled our whole life. Male female. Fat thin. Clever stupid. I thought it was lovely for the baby to not have a label in the whom and to just be 'baby'. We bought the 0-3 months size once they were born in the appropriate pink/blue or whatever.

A580Hojas · 08/11/2021 20:23

Surprise both times.

DaisyandSimeon · 08/11/2021 20:23

If you are genuinely not bothered I think it would be a nice surprise. I really wanted a girl after DS but found out at scan another boy. I'm so glad I did that as the disappointement was fleeting. Couldn't bear the thought of welcoming my newborn with a feeling of gender disappointment. I totally adore DS2 and wouldn't change a hair on his head.

Flutterby8 · 08/11/2021 20:24

We found out at our 20 week scan. Part of me wanted a surprise but i just needed to know because i like to be organised with everything!

Amandasummers · 08/11/2021 20:24

All 3 of mine have been surprises

AreYouRightThereSkippy · 08/11/2021 20:26

Both!

First was a surprise. Second we found out. That was my idea. I didn't like not knowing with dc1. It wasn't a beautiful surprise or amazing moment when she arrived as she arrived pretty sick. I was just worried. Couldn't have cared less if she was male, female or an alien, I just wanted her to be OK.

With dc2 we found out as soon as we could. It was beautiful and calm. Dd was with us and got to share that moment. Definitely the right decision for us.

firstimemamma · 08/11/2021 20:27

With ds we found out.

Pregnant again and due in March. A surprise this time! Dh needed convincing initially.

MrsFoxyplease · 08/11/2021 20:28

Found out for both my dc. I just couldn't wait.
In hindsight I would have liked a surprise for at least one of them just to experience that moment after birth.

Derbee · 08/11/2021 20:33

We’re not finding out. First baby, and looking forward to the surprise

AliasGrape · 08/11/2021 20:35

We didn’t find out - I think DH might have done had it been entirely up to him, but I really didn’t want to and he wasn’t bothered enough to push it.

If we were to have a second (not particularly likely but hypothetically speaking) I’d probably be more inclined to find out this time - really wouldn’t care either way but if DH wanted to know I’d be more open to it this time.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 08/11/2021 20:36

I didn't find out ...was a nice surprise x

MissingGrandstand · 08/11/2021 20:40

Thought we wanted a surprise, turned out I was so irrational that the thought of the sonographer knowing and me not knowing was too much to handle

fancyfrogs · 08/11/2021 20:44

Surprise! I was so impatient and nearly caved at scans but so pleased I didn't. It was lovely to have DH say it was a boy as soon as he was born 😊

MrsSugar · 08/11/2021 20:47

We found out. I just couldn’t wait even though I had no preference. It’s a boy which is exactly what I thought. I know ppl think it’s a nice surprise but it’s 50:50 so hardly a shocker either way haha

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