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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Find out sex or surprise! What did you do?

64 replies

babyboybluex · 08/11/2021 19:59

We are expecting baby two in May and found out the sex for our first baby (boy). We are in two minds about whether to find out again or keep it a surprise (we are happy with either a boy or girl).

What did you do? Did you find out or wait until the big day?

OP posts:

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MarigoldMoonStone · 08/11/2021 20:56

I had a surprise which I’m so glad we did. I think if I had another I might find out in advance tho

MrsSkylerWhite · 08/11/2021 20:57

Lovely surprise first time.
Second, big age gap, we thought knowing would help our hitherto only child to become accustomed to the idea, which it did.

Sandsnake · 08/11/2021 21:05

Found out with both.

With DC1 I really wanted to know and we both had no hesitation in finding out. Never regretted it and loved knowing that he was a boy. With DC2 I quite wanted a surprise as I genuinely had no preference on the sex at all. But DH quite wanted to find out and DS was four and starting to make noises about wanting a brother so we decided to find out (she was a girl!).

Sweetsaremyfave · 08/11/2021 21:31

Found out with first but didn’t with second. It was lovely to have a surprise

Vigg1984 · 08/11/2021 21:33

We found out for both! Loved it

ParkheadParadise · 08/11/2021 21:36

With Dd1 29 years ago they didn't tell you.
With Dd2 I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 5 mths. At the scan, I was in shock to be told we were having a baby didn't think to ask if it was boy/girl.
DH told me it was a girl when she was born.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 08/11/2021 21:37

Dc2 we didt find out as didn't care and happy to wait till the birth to find out.

Dc2 we only found out as everyone and their mums were nagging dc2 about what they would prefer.

We arent planning dc3 but if we did, I'd not find out. I preferred it.

ElfDragon · 08/11/2021 21:38

I didn’t find out with dc1 or dc2, but did with dc3. I wanted to know for a few reasons, and due to those reasons it was right that I knew.

We didn’t tell anyone else, though, it was just for us to know.

I think I preferred not knowing.

Blxo94 · 08/11/2021 21:42

Currently 24 weeks pregnant and don't know babies sex... Not by choice. Baby just wouldn't behave 3 times at 3 different scans! They have clearly wanted us to have that surprise and show themselves off for themselves when they are born, so we are having a surprise 😂!xx

Spottybotty20 · 08/11/2021 21:45

I didn’t find out with either and was really glad as I have a load of white/neutral newborn clothes so it worked perfectly that I had a DS then a DD. If I had found out either time I would have had a major influx of blue/pink respectively from family and friends. I did still have it all but a bit delayed. I loved the time where we had met them and named them but no one else knew anything about them.

TheCraicDealer · 08/11/2021 21:46

I found out, I loved knowing. We'd settled on DD's name by about 30w so I used to sit chatting to her and referring to her by name whilst I was sitting in traffic or having a wee in the work loos- that was about eight times a day by the end so it was quite a lot of bonding time some of my happiest memories of pregnancy those moments! Yeah it's a great surprise if you wait but I was still surprised and amazed when she popped out and I saw her head full of hair and little face for the first time.

We found out through the Harmony test and I asked the consultant who was doing the blood draw what sort of proportion of people found out- he said for first time parents it was 50:50, but for no.2 it went up to about 80%. That's mirrored with my own friends who have had more than one.

ParmigianoReggiano · 08/11/2021 21:50

We found out for all three.

wertheppl · 08/11/2021 21:52

I couldn't wait to find out both times. I honestly don't know how folk manage to wait. I'm just so impatient and I wanted to decorate the room and buy cute clothes (I know this isn't liked on Mumsnet) but oh well, I loved buying lots of baby pink.

I know quite a few friends/family having a surprise with first but finding out for subsequent kids.

Glassofshloer · 08/11/2021 21:54

I found out. I was quite an anxious pregnant woman and wanted the control where I could.

If there is a next time I won’t find out.

DramaAlpaca · 08/11/2021 21:54

I didn't find out with DC1 because it was hospital policy not to tell. I did with the next two, at different hospitals. Looking back, I think the surprise was nicer though I've no regrets.

ThirdElephant · 08/11/2021 21:56

I found out with the first and didn't with the second because people go on about how magical finding out at birth is and all that guff.

It was not magical. I gave not a single shit. If I ever had a third, I'd find out at 20 weeks again.

SillyBry · 08/11/2021 21:58

I found out with number 1. I wanted to be organised and know what to expect.
Number 2, I figured that I probably wasn’t going to do this again, so let’s go for a surprise. I already had lots of clothes, so figured if it was a boy, he’d wear some girly stuff for a bit whilst I got organised 🤣🤣
We ended up having 2 girls, which was amazing. It was lovely to be surprised when I gave birth. I’m glad I experienced that. But lots of people told me it’s not special if you know what you’re having. That’s BS. it’s still special!!!

Chelyanne · 08/11/2021 22:00

Found out with all 6 of ours

Etonmessisyum · 08/11/2021 22:01

X4 all surprises all boys so by the 4th boy I wasn’t really surprised. You couldn’t find out at my hospital and I didn’t want to do the private scan thing and I don’t regret it. My sister found out with hers although the scan of the youngest was so clear there was no doubt it was a boy.

I think it’s personal preference no rights or wrongs and you can change your mind and find out later on if you want. Congratulations on baby

User65412 · 08/11/2021 22:03

I say that it's a 'surprise' whenever you find out. You'll find out sooner or later and whether it's when you're pregnant or when he or she is here it'll be a surprise!
I found out at a private scan so that I could get clothes organised. We were given so much stuff in advance and I wanted it sorted. I never ever thought I would but being pregnant at home during lockdown drove me mad and knowing the sex to sort through all the clothes really helped me.
I have felt very judged by people in real life - lots of 'Oh why would ruin the surprise' and someone actually said, 'We didn't find out because we'll love the baby either way' as if I wouldn't! People are weird. Do what you want!

PurplePizzaCake · 08/11/2021 22:03

We're the same as you OP, have a boy already and due our second in May. We found out first time round partly because my husband wouldn't discuss names unless he knew the sex. This time will probably be the same. Also if we're having a girl I might sort through some of the 'boy' clothes and give them away

Taswama · 08/11/2021 22:04

Surprise x 2.
Like PP I don't understand why you would find out in advance but see that opinions are pretty divided.
I liked having a surprise and also telling others - "it's a boy!".
DB told us sex and name for both his DC before they were born.

KohlaParasaurus · 08/11/2021 22:05

I asked with all of mine. Scans weren't as detailed in the 1990s and I was only able to find out the sex of two of my babies before birth, but I never had any interest in keeping it a secret from myself.

GuidingSpirit · 08/11/2021 22:08

We had our first baby in June. We had a surprise and the midwives held up the baby for DH to tell me what the sex was at the moment DD was born. It was such a lovely moment. If you do have a surprise, be prepared for everyone to tell you their theories on what you are having! :)

Ughmaybenot · 08/11/2021 22:10

Congratulations!

We had a surprise, it was an unbelievably special moment for us when we were shown him when they dropped the screen for us and we were so glad we didn’t find out beforehand, but it is a very personal decision.

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