20 weeks pregnant and not even met my NHS midwife? Is this normal?

[PT1708]

Hi there,

I’m hoping someone can help me, and get some advice really from fellow mums and mums to be!

I’m 20 weeks pregnant, and had my 20 week scan yesterday, everything looked how it should and our little boy is growing beautifully.

Unfortunately tho, I was a whittler before my pregnancy and I’m even more of a whittler now! My anxiety has been horrendous throughout the pregnancy. I’ve been suffering with really awful headaches, and pins and needles in my hands and feet (not to mention the sickness has stayed pretty consistent since week 6 of the pregnancy!)

I’ve tried to speak to my doctor when he prescribed me anti sickness tablets and he said I should be speaking to my midwife regarding all my concerns and worries, and he didn’t really answer anything I’d asked so I thought fair enough I’ll hang tight.

My 8 week appointment was with a community midwife and student midwife, and because of how long me and my husband have been trying for when we fell pregnant I was so so scared of everything, the ladies had really reassured me and were lovely. They’d assigned my midwife to me and said she’d be in contact (which I never really got)

My 12 week scan came around and I was so excited to see how little one on the screen and finally meet the midwife, but instead it involved going straight in for an ultrasound and then a nurse taking my blood, I tried to ask questions to the nurse regarding 2 cysts they’d found on the scan and ask about my sickness and headaches. The nurse wasn’t able to answer anything and had said you should speak to your midwife.

Finally, at week 16, two days before my appointment my assigned midwife text me! My first contact with her. She had text me to say that the appointment needed to be changed as she was on leave. It was pushed back a few days which was absolutely fine I was just happy to think I can finally ask her all my questions and worries.
On the day, I waited and waited, was called up by a nurse, I’d asked if my midwife was in and the nurse said she’s busy with other ladies. I tried asking her questions regarding my symptoms and my worries, and again was pushed back and told to speak to my midwife.

My 20 week scan has been the only enjoyable part of the pregnancy, as the ultrasonographer was so lovely. Our little boy was in an awkward position with his head down and his back to us, but she could see how nervous and anxious I was to make sure he was healthy. She really reassured me but did say I should be speaking to my midwife with my concerns.

So after the scan I thought I’ll try calling my midwife, no response. So I thought right, I’ll drop her a text to say that I’m really getting concerned about my symptoms, that I haven’t felt the baby kick as of yet, that my headaches are causing me to lose balance and dizziness, that my sickness has been non stop since week 6 and that the pins and needles in my hands and feet seem to be happening more and more. No response.

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, I dread to even think how long it’s going to take to get my MATB1 form sorted as if I can’t even get a text pleading for help, how am I going to get a form done. Both me and my husband just feel so let down, is this normal for NHS? Is this just normal in general?

All of my friends said their midwives were amazing there throughout their pregnancies, but I don’t even know who to turn to or ask anymore? Anyone I ask says “speak to your midwife”

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Xxx

Ring day care that is not okay

No that doesn't sound normal. Can you phone the head midwife? MAYBE through triage or the antenatal clinic?

I'm so sorry to hear this has happened to you, that's awful care. I don't know who to call though, sorry

Ridiculous.
You need to speak to head MW.
Find out where your local children's centre is and ring them.

I had no midwife til 28weeks, and only got one because I changed hospital.

Thought it might be standard practice due to second baby, COVID. Nope, just useless admin. Call them and chase it up

Is your midwife with the GP?

The midwife won’t prescribe anything or run tests for anything other than common pregnancy conditions that can be picked up by a general blood test or urine dip. So the sickness would be referred to the GP who would prescribe you something. You can discuss things with them and they’ll tell you which tests you need to ask for from the GP but the GP should still be stepping in and seeing you.

You’ve only missed one midwife appointment. You still had your booking appointment. Midwives don’t tend to be present at scans. I’m not saying it’s right that you’ve missed an appointment but midwives aren’t that present in the early stage and you should still be able to reach your GP. I would ring the hospital and ask about being assigned a midwife and if that doesn’t work contact PALs. All the units are so busy at the minute and I know most of the midwives in my trust are off with covid at the minute. You should also have a maternity assessment number, which you should call if you have worrying symptoms or something you think you need to discuss straight away. The community midwives are for more general questions or something that isn’t time critical as they aren’t going to get back to you straight away. So something urgent or out of hours - maternity assessment, general not feeling great is GP and pregnancy anxiety, wondering what braxton hicks feel like etc is midwife.

At 20 weeks, you won’t necessarily feel baby move yet and the hospital won’t be worried until you’re 24 weeks. Their size, their position, the position of your placenta are all going to affect how quickly you feel them. If you do feel them move at this stage, there’s no pattern yet. I felt baby move about 19 weeks but it just felt like a little twitch so not like what I’d read on the internet and it took a little while to connect that random twitch was actually baby.

I don’t know if you’re at a practice or with a specific GP. I approached the GP about feeling ropey and the male GP just told me to basically suck it up. I got back in touch a few weeks later and got assigned a female GP, on the phone I was honest and told her I didn’t feel very well but nothing specific, she got me to come in, gave me a check over and basically actually gave me some advice about staying hydrated, identified a UTI and put my mind at ease. So some of it is going to depend on your GP too.

Call your community midwife hub and ask them for help and support. If your midwife is attached to your gp surgery call them.

Sadly those who shout the loudest get what they want so start making a fuss. You should of met your midwife face to face by now

Yes GP for anti sickness medication/numbness and tingling in fingers. Maternity triage otherwise for urgent pregnancy related symptoms. Community midwife for non urgent enquiries, they have a huge caseload so aren't able to reply same day necessarily.

I think it's quite normal not to see a midwife at scans, you don't where I work anyway.

You should have an appointment for 24 weeks, then 28, 31, 34 weeks and then every 2 weeks. Usually it's smooth sailing for most women until the third trimester which is why we see you more often then.

You can get your matb1 at 24 weeks

Oh no, that doesn't sound fun at all! I would be filing a complaint at this point! Sorry you're going through this xxx your mw needs to pull her finger out and start doing her job!

And before anyone shouts at me, I know there's a national shortage of midwives and they have heavy caseloads and would want to be doing better and not be pulled at from all directions, but shit service is still shit service regardless of the reasons for it.

@InTheNightWeWillWish

Is your midwife with the GP?

The midwife won’t prescribe anything or run tests for anything other than common pregnancy conditions that can be picked up by a general blood test or urine dip. So the sickness would be referred to the GP who would prescribe you something. You can discuss things with them and they’ll tell you which tests you need to ask for from the GP but the GP should still be stepping in and seeing you.

You’ve only missed one midwife appointment. You still had your booking appointment. Midwives don’t tend to be present at scans. I’m not saying it’s right that you’ve missed an appointment but midwives aren’t that present in the early stage and you should still be able to reach your GP. I would ring the hospital and ask about being assigned a midwife and if that doesn’t work contact PALs. All the units are so busy at the minute and I know most of the midwives in my trust are off with covid at the minute. You should also have a maternity assessment number, which you should call if you have worrying symptoms or something you think you need to discuss straight away. The community midwives are for more general questions or something that isn’t time critical as they aren’t going to get back to you straight away. So something urgent or out of hours - maternity assessment, general not feeling great is GP and pregnancy anxiety, wondering what braxton hicks feel like etc is midwife.

At 20 weeks, you won’t necessarily feel baby move yet and the hospital won’t be worried until you’re 24 weeks. Their size, their position, the position of your placenta are all going to affect how quickly you feel them. If you do feel them move at this stage, there’s no pattern yet. I felt baby move about 19 weeks but it just felt like a little twitch so not like what I’d read on the internet and it took a little while to connect that random twitch was actually baby.

I don’t know if you’re at a practice or with a specific GP. I approached the GP about feeling ropey and the male GP just told me to basically suck it up. I got back in touch a few weeks later and got assigned a female GP, on the phone I was honest and told her I didn’t feel very well but nothing specific, she got me to come in, gave me a check over and basically actually gave me some advice about staying hydrated, identified a UTI and put my mind at ease. So some of it is going to depend on your GP too.

This. My named midwife was off for my booking appointment and was also off for my 16 week appointment - my 16 week appointment was instead put with the same midwife that I had in my first pregnancy and she offered to change me over to her client list. If she hadn't I would only have met her for the first time at 24 weeks (if she was back then). You should've had a 16 week appointment however saying that they only checked my urine and blood pressure - my trust don't listen to the heartbeat until 24 weeks. Its normal not to see a midwife after your scans. Once you're 16 weeks I believe you have open access to maternity triage (at least at my hospital) but I'd contact your GP if you feel unwell. GP's do try and fob you off to a midwife (mine did exactly the same last week, he said I needed a referral to see an obstetrician and I needed to contact my midwife to do it - I called her and she said he could've done that!) however if you feel unwell it is up to them to deal with you, I would only contact maternity triage if I was suffering with for example reduced movements or if its out of hours and the surgery is closed. You mention you suffer with anxiety, could it be worth you asking for a referral to the mental health team if it is affecting you this way? Unfortunately pregnancy is pretty boring, things don't ramp up appointments wise until third trimester really - that's unless there is something wrong or you're high risk so you want it to be boring really! The midwife won't be worried about you not feeling movements until 24 weeks.

Oh and the matb1 form is standard, your midwife will complete it at your 24 week appointment in front of you, it isn't something she needs to prepare beforehand so no reason for you to worry about not getting it.
It isn't critical you have it then anyway depending on your employer, I handed mine in 3 weeks ago and I know it is still in a drawer in the payroll office and nothing has been done with it yet!

I'm behind you at week 16 and just have got in touch with her. She has totally ignored me and I know responded to others. I had to go to hospital and have had problems and they've all said the midwife should be dealing with but nothing She was really dismissive when I said about it and also worries and I left feeling worried about how unsupported I will be through This. I am also pregnant with my first after a long time trying.

So not as bad as you have had but I kind of understand.

Thank you all so much for your responses, it’s probably the hormones but I’ve been so emotional about it all. And reading all your responses as definitely put me at ease!

I’m gonna ring the community hub and see if I can get anywhere with them! It’s just been concerning me so much at how I’ve been feeling in myself (I’m not one to be poorly at the best of times but I just feel like since the start of the pregnancy it’s just been downhill) I know it’s a worrying time for any expectant mother so this forum is definitely helping me with most of those worries! ♥️

I think it's a shame not to have the same midwife consistently, but it's not disastrous. It's not as though your "assigned" community midwife is the one to actually deliver the baby these days, their main role is the routine checks, and as long as you've had those done and any medical concerns have been addressed either by another midwife or by your GP, you've not really missed out on anything other than the psychological reassurance of seeing the same person each time.

I think it's one thing to not see your mw much in the first half of the pregnancy, but she should have a contact for someone who will bother responding. She's being told by everyone to contact her mw about any questions or issues, but the mw doesn't seem contactable. That is a problem.

I'm not even sure who my midwife is. Im coming up for 27 weeks and so far have had:

• a quick phone call with someone else at 16 weeks (who told me to take aspirin as my Papp A is low). Said they couldn't see me for my 16 week appointment the next day as they're too busy/short staffed

• and my next appointment is when I'm 28 weeks. I called about my 25 week appointment when I hadn't heard anything and they said they don't offer that one anymore.

So I'm meeting my midwife for the first time at 28 weeks. I have low Papp A and gestational diabetes, which should be monitored every 2-4 weeks from 28 weeks, but cannot get through no matter how many times I call to arrange my growth scans or any appointments. I guess I'll find out next week....

My 12 week scan ended up being at 14 weeks, so I paid for a private nipt (as nuchal measurement isn't accurate at 14 weeks)

I'm seriously wondering whether the care gets better as pregnancy goes on, or if I need to try to afford private

The NHS has become so short staffed, wish they would actually start training enough staff to meet demand, or stop treating the existing staff like crap to try and convince them to stay in the NHS!

When I was pregnant I had appointments scheduled with my midwife every so often in between scans but if I had any concerns in the meantime I had a phone number for a “community midwife” who I could ring during office hours. Have you been given any phone number that sounds similar to that? If so, give them a call and tell them all your concerns.
As a PP has said though, if you needed to be prescribed anything, such as for sickness, the midwife would just refer you to a GP for that. So I think the GP should have been a lot more helpful than just telling you to contact your midwife instead!
Good luck OP, I hope the rest runs more smoothly :)

It sucks but I think this is fairly standard now. I’m 36 weeks and I don’t have a named midwife. I’ve never seen the same person on any app. No midwives at GPs for the entire area, rather it’s a drop in clinic run at a local pub (it’s actually a v nice pub), i doubt I’ll see the same person for the rest of my pregnancy now, just the way things go.

I took the stance, anything bothering me, call triage. You’re 20 weeks you should be able to do the same i think.

Didn’t see my midwife until 24 week appointment

Sadly this is becoming normal due to the staffing crisis in the U.K. but it’s absolutely not ok and women deserve better care than this.

Please look at the Facebook page March with Midwives and share your story. We are trying to gather evidence of the impact of the staffing crisis to lobby the government to help solve it.

Are you sure those "nurses" you saw weren't midwives? I never saw the same midwife twice in 2 pregnancies.

@RacketeerRalph It might not be. My trust are now using nurses in midwifery as we don’t have enough midwives. We are also using MCAs to do postnatal visits instead of a midwife. It’s a sorry state of affairs!

This is absolutely ridiculous. Even my midwife said at my 16w appointment that (in my hospital) they're considering bringing that second appointment forward because it's such a long time between your booking app and 16w app, so you are not being unreasonable feeling left out in the cold.

The NHS is really limping along at the moment and unfortunately you need to advocate HARD for yourself.

You need to call your hospital and insist they get you in at the earliest opportunity as this is your first pregnancy and you are worried!

I'm a bit of a dog with a bone when it comes to my healthcare (only because of past experiences) but I know some people find it hard to be pushy - but sometimes it's gotta be done!

@teddingtonbearrr We NEED women to be like this. Please have a look at the Facebook page March with Midwives U.K. and help us solve the maternity crisis.