20 weeks pregnant and not even met my NHS midwife? Is this normal?

[PT1708]

Hi there,

I’m hoping someone can help me, and get some advice really from fellow mums and mums to be!

I’m 20 weeks pregnant, and had my 20 week scan yesterday, everything looked how it should and our little boy is growing beautifully.

Unfortunately tho, I was a whittler before my pregnancy and I’m even more of a whittler now! My anxiety has been horrendous throughout the pregnancy. I’ve been suffering with really awful headaches, and pins and needles in my hands and feet (not to mention the sickness has stayed pretty consistent since week 6 of the pregnancy!)

I’ve tried to speak to my doctor when he prescribed me anti sickness tablets and he said I should be speaking to my midwife regarding all my concerns and worries, and he didn’t really answer anything I’d asked so I thought fair enough I’ll hang tight.

My 8 week appointment was with a community midwife and student midwife, and because of how long me and my husband have been trying for when we fell pregnant I was so so scared of everything, the ladies had really reassured me and were lovely. They’d assigned my midwife to me and said she’d be in contact (which I never really got)

My 12 week scan came around and I was so excited to see how little one on the screen and finally meet the midwife, but instead it involved going straight in for an ultrasound and then a nurse taking my blood, I tried to ask questions to the nurse regarding 2 cysts they’d found on the scan and ask about my sickness and headaches. The nurse wasn’t able to answer anything and had said you should speak to your midwife.

Finally, at week 16, two days before my appointment my assigned midwife text me! My first contact with her. She had text me to say that the appointment needed to be changed as she was on leave. It was pushed back a few days which was absolutely fine I was just happy to think I can finally ask her all my questions and worries.
On the day, I waited and waited, was called up by a nurse, I’d asked if my midwife was in and the nurse said she’s busy with other ladies. I tried asking her questions regarding my symptoms and my worries, and again was pushed back and told to speak to my midwife.

My 20 week scan has been the only enjoyable part of the pregnancy, as the ultrasonographer was so lovely. Our little boy was in an awkward position with his head down and his back to us, but she could see how nervous and anxious I was to make sure he was healthy. She really reassured me but did say I should be speaking to my midwife with my concerns.

So after the scan I thought I’ll try calling my midwife, no response. So I thought right, I’ll drop her a text to say that I’m really getting concerned about my symptoms, that I haven’t felt the baby kick as of yet, that my headaches are causing me to lose balance and dizziness, that my sickness has been non stop since week 6 and that the pins and needles in my hands and feet seem to be happening more and more. No response.

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, I dread to even think how long it’s going to take to get my MATB1 form sorted as if I can’t even get a text pleading for help, how am I going to get a form done. Both me and my husband just feel so let down, is this normal for NHS? Is this just normal in general?

All of my friends said their midwives were amazing there throughout their pregnancies, but I don’t even know who to turn to or ask anymore? Anyone I ask says “speak to your midwife”

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Xxx

Did the Gp check your blood pressure OP? Or anyone else? I had pretty low blood pressure through all 3 of my pregnancies (around 90/50 usually) and it can make you feel awful. I was always feeling tired, sick and dizzy.
I hope you manage to contact your midwife, but during the pandemic the procedure in our area was that the first time you saw your midwife was week 24 so it is normal.

I feel you... I'm at 32 weeks and have never seen the same person twice. All my community midwife appointments are with a different person and I do feel quite isolated as this is my first pregnancy and I had early losses and a long journey to get to this stage and just feel there's no support. I have no phone number or contact details for an assigned midwife and it baffles me whenever I hear the phrases "your midwife" or "my midwife" as it's simply just not a thing here to have someone assigned it seems. I also have no maternity notes. Every time i ask about it they brush it off saying "oh you've not been registered for the app because of the time you got pregnant". I know ladies who were pregnant before and got pregnant after me who do have access to digital maternity notes, so why not me? There's also no antenatal classes available still. I'm so thankful I don't have any conditions like gestational diabetes or anything this pregnancy because I have so little support.

@2020mission my hospital don't use the app, I have handheld notes which I like because I carry them round with me. My responsibility sort of thing.

Also @cultkid I don't think your situation is that abnormal. Midwives aren't terribly present in pregnancy until appointments become more frequent. However you should have a number for the community midwife team or day assessment who can answer your queries.

@toadstool32 I'd be fine with handled notes. They havent given me handheld notes so I have nothing. That's what's annoying. When I asked they just reply "oh we can see them here don't worry about it"

Handheld*

I am going through the same thing. I had a booking appointment with my community midwife but my next midwife appointment won't be until I am nearly 24 weeks. I have not even be given a number to contact and I am now 21 weeks.
I was scheduled for my second midwife appointment last week but I missed it due to a family emergency, I naively expected to be able to reschedule it for next week but got told there's no availability till mid-late November. I guess there's not much we can do about it, but if you have concerns definitely voice them like the other poster said the louder you shout...
I'm lucky to not have any worries, I feel my son move everyday which is reassuring. I'm more worried about becoming a mother, practical problems such as housing and finances as I'm still at uni and this wasn't planned at all. I have days where I feel so overwhelmed and cry over nothing, in those moments it would be nice to have a midwife to talk to but at least we have mumsnet!

This is not normal. Do not get fobbed off. Someone should see you, review urine, bp/hr and discuss any symptoms including any anxieties (especially if this is your 1st pregnancy)

Please find out the number of your community team and try them, then try early pregnancy assessment unit at hospital, then maternity triage (this can be another unit for later pregnancy) and ring them. If they don’t reply, ring your gp reception (tell them about your dizziness, sickness and anxiety worsening and inability to get a midwife to assess you). Spell out all your symptoms so that they have all the info (morning sickness can cause dehydration - which can make you unwell).

I say this not because I think there is necessarily anything wrong, but because unfortunately the system is v short staffed and you need to keep pressing to have the checks you should have. I am currently 36wks pregnant and by your stage I had had 1 booking appt with midwife and 1 further appt after my 20wk scan. I am on my 3rd pregnancy.

Currently at 35 weeks - have not seen a midwife in 6 weeks as I was instructed not to attend my previous appt as someone in my household was awaiting pcr (though I was ok and had negative lateral flow - completely understand this was sensible to postpone, and I had no concerns about baby). I tried texting my midwife a few times, then left 2 voicemails on the community answerphone. 2 days ago I got an appt for next week. If I had not got this, I would have rung maternity triage. Baby is moving fine, but I want to get checked to get some indication of what position baby is in (in case they need to organise interventions).

Don’t be afraid to keep pressing. You have symptoms and this is your first pregnancy.

I understand midwives are organising vigils for Nov - to raise awareness of understaffing and working conditions. I think they really want to provide patients with the appointments but are v snowed under. I think patients pressing forward and raising it higher in the chain will highlight the need to management.

So just an update guys!

I called the triage number I was given at my 8 week appointment shortly after posting this thread, and had practically burst into tears over the phone. Explained my GP won’t see me as it should be my midwife, and the number I have for the midwife she never seems to pick up or answer me. The midwife over the phone was so lovely and reassured me, she scheduled me to have an appointment with the midwife who I’ve had the main issue with the following day at 1pm to speak to and have a full check over.

At 12:30 on the day, just as I’m about to set off to the hospital, I get a phonecall from the receptionist to say the midwife’s canceled my appointment. I’d truly given up all hope at this point. She had apparently gone home early according to the receptionist. I had to go through the whole ordeal with the receptionist over the phone who practically moved mountains for me to get another appointment booked in with a different midwife at another location the following day after. Finally!
My appointment was yesterday and by the time I’d got sat down and spoke to her, I was in tears. I’d explained about my anxiety, that I’ve had no movements even after trying everything I researched online like trying ice cold fizzy drinks, my headaches were getting worse and more consistent, and I’m just so worried about the baby as I still at 21+6 had not felt anything. She was so so lovely and so reassuring, she did my blood pressure which was quite high, meaning I’ve got to go back now for some regular checks but she said at the present time she wasn’t concerned as could clearly see I’d be waiting weeks on end to speak to someone and the stress was probably having a negative impact on my BP.
She’s also booked me another appointment at my 24 week appointment (I’m 22 weeks today so it’s only 2 weeks away thankfully) and used the Doppler to check baby’s heart rate, hearing his little heart beat meant everything after the stress of the last few weeks.

Thank god for Mumsnet, I’m never one to complain but I just truly felt so so let down by this said midwife. The midwife from yesterday recommended I call the triage number if I have any concerns moving forward, which in itself made me feel a million times better.