Uneducated about giving birth and labour

[SweetSunflowerBoo]

So my baby is estimated to be due in less than 6 weeks ...
I've been reading my baby books and "first time mummy" books but I feel like I know NOTHING about labour and giving birth!!!

Any time I try and ask people, I get snarky comments shoved at me.

I actually want to learn stuff but being told "well you'll wish you never got pregnant" and "RIP your vagina is all I'll say!!"

Is NOT helpful AT ALL!!!

Is there any websites that I could read?
I've tried googling but I'm not sure what to actually type!
And I keep ending up on websites with opinions rather than MEDICAL facts and advice.

I wish they taught us about birth in school

@BertieBotts

OBEM won't be very helpful. It's just a lot of screaming with no context. May be useful to watch after you know what is happening behind the scenes, OTOH might be terrifying.

OP - what I think is helpful to know is the mechanics of what happens during labour. The different stages, what they are called and what they mean. When to go in to hospital. What to expect in terms of checks and monitoring. Some tips for coping with each stage. The best book I have read for these things is the Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill. Some people mentioned the Positive Birth Company which is affiliated with that book. I'll also recommend a couple of youtube channels if you prefer video. One is American, so hospital procedures etc may be different but of course the physiology of birth is the same. The other is British.

www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyIooosefqJvcTFWjR3d-qk6IOQoYUigJ

www.youtube.com/channel/UCziYkgCz7XAV7htTNIbxZIQ

In case you prefer podcasts, this is a really good primer and they are short (it's aimed at dads who apparently have a short attention span ) - especially episodes 1, 3, 4, 6.

podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8xNDk1MjI4LnJzcw==

But think about it, our grandmothers and great grandmothers and probably a good chunk of our mothers had no idea what to expect from labour. Your body will do what it needs to do and if it does not, the midwives and doctors will be there to help you. It's just about getting through the day really. Ask for pain relief if you need it. Ask your midwife what you can do to get things moving. Nothing bad is going to happen if you go in blind. You don't need a plan. I've given birth three times and took a written plan once and it never made it out of my bag.

I actually did find OBEM helpful. It taught me that if you start with pain relief it can slow things down and more likely to end in an emergency c section. That’s what seemed to happen and I checked after and it is statistically likely. Thought it was pretty helpful tbh.

Fair enough but I think that kind of thing only makes sense if you have some background info. A lot is edited out of OBEM.

I found Ina May Gaskin’s books the most helpful in my pregnancies. Helpful because the explained exactly what was happening and completely removed any fear I had. A little dated now, and certainly very hippy in the way their written but I don’t think you’ll get better information.

To add, I watched OBEM in my last 2 pregnancies. Found them more likely to scare me than empower me tbh. I’ve never screamed in labour, made some awful sounds no doubt, but never screamed. One birth sticks in my mind, a woman who’d made her own little bikini to give birth in, and she gave birth in the pool without a sound. Incredible. I went on to have 2 water births that were equally calm, I really recommend trying the pool if you get the opportunity, but if you don’t then try and stay as active as you can. Getting onto a bed and lying down is probably the worst thing you can do in labour.

I have nothing to add to all the links and advice here but would share my own advice which is

1. Deff read up on hypnobirthing
2. Hire a tens machine from Boots to help you through labour before you need medicated pain relief

3.Move move move, stay mobile as this will help control the labour pains.

1. Don't believe everything you hear or read, be willing to let your body do the work, but think about any decisions that might need to be made along the way - pain relief options, use of forceps, after care if baby or you needs it, your. Jet hind partner and their role - they are there to advocate for your needs and wishes when you might need support. All this needs to go into your birth plan.
2. And finally, my labour and birth was amazing, I was on a high for days afterwards, I felt amazing, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Download the Expectful app and do their hypnobirthing course.

My NHS trust is offering antenatal classes, still Zoom at the moment due to staffing. We generally say not to book on until 32/34 weeks anyway so it's not like you are late to be thinking about birth prep don't worry!

Labourpains.com have clear and accessible information about pain relief in labour. There's a comparison table for all the different types, with how they work and benefits v risks. The epidural information sheet has all the stats on risks as well. Some of the types may not be available, so you may want to check with your midwife how it works at your hospital. For example where I work we don't offer PCA routinely unless it's been a very complicated delivery.

Also I often don't have time to go through birth plans in antenatal appointments but do try and point women in the direction of good information. I'm glad your midwife did get in touch with some for you

Im in a similar boat. First time mum and not sure what to expect except the horror stories ive been told about already.

Depending where you are, the NHS ARE offering free antenatal classes online in some trusts.
My trust is and have been for some time now.
They are all pre-recorded by midwives and go through basically everything. Theyre absolutely free and can easily be found on the NHS website by typing in antenatal clinics.
They have also recently stated offering free Teams meetings on some Wednesdays for a few different topics. You just have to sign up in advance and join the teams call at the allocated time.

My midwife only mentioned these Teams meetings at my last appointment last week so I think theyre quite new?
Definately check on your trusts website first though, assuming you are UK based?