Xmas with antivaxx sister before ELCS

[LadyHalesBroach]

How do I go about asking her to take a test?

My sister, husband and their 6 month old daughter are coming to spend xmas day with us this year. Due to family circumstances, this is our first xmas together since we were about 8 (we're now in our 30s).

The problem is that i'm due my ELCS on approx 29th December.

I am double vexed, and as my first daughter finishes school around mid Dec, I was planning on becoming a bit of a hermit so to mitigate risk.

But my sister is anti vax. Her DH has been doubled, but she won't do it. Says she doesn't want to pass it on to her DD as she is breastfeeding. Thinks she'll cope if she gets it (we all know that's not the point but ok).

Should I get her to lat-flow before arriving? PCR? Cancel all together? Or am I being a bit of a drama llama? I haven't said anything to her yet.

Cancel her.

Cancel altogether.

I gave birth 4 days ago, covid positive. Despite doing the hermit thing and being double vaccinated, I tested positive 48 hours before my planned section. It was an enormously stressful 2 days that I wouldn't wish on anyone in late pregnancy.

It depends on the policy where you are but as a close contact, there's a strong chance that if you are covid positive, your DP won't be allowed into the hospital, even with a negative PCR test. Or indeed your DP could test positive.

Congratulations!!
I’d cancel. I had a planned section late June (given the date early April) and am double vaccinated. We had covid swabs before and if my husband was positive I could find someone else negative to come with me. Also the risk of covid in late pregnancy is not insignificant.

I’d ask them all to do a test or cancel all together regardless of vaccination status as they can still pass it on when vaccinated, the chances are lower but it’s still an unnecessary risk that close to giving birth.

I would cancel altogether. It’s not worth risking being covid positive and either having your section postponed , or not being allowed DH with you

@CouldWeStartAgainPlease OMG how are you feeling?? You poor thing.

Can I ask, how were you treated in the hospital? I assume you were alone, but did the staff have to wear extra ppe? Must have been awful for you, I can’t imagine.

You can still catch and pass on covid even if you are vaccinated. Based on that I would not be having visitors regardless of vaccination status. If she is anti vax because she is worried about the effect of the vaccine on her baby, I'm sure she will understand tou wanting to limit risks to your own.

I would urge any heavily pregnant woman, vaxed or not, not be very, very cautious about exposure to covid. I would cancel.

@LadyHalesBroach

I was initially told that I'd need to go in myself and DH could not join me at all. Although the rules here are that for a close contact, double jabbed + negative PCR = don't need to isolate, that doesn't apply for a healthcare setting.

We went back and forth with the hospital as I queried my results and eventually they agreed DH could attend the surgery only.

In the end they were really good and let him hang around a bit as long as we were in our room.

We had a separate entrance into the hospital and were escorted to a room where we stayed the whole time other than in theatre. Staff wore extra PPE and I had one staff member per shift assigned to me to do the majority of coming in and out.

My care was absolutely excellent throughout and the experience was great in the end. That is partly because I'm asymptomatic, I've been vaccinated and the microbiologists were able to confirm my viral load was very low. Suspect if that hadn't been the case it would have been very different.

@CouldWeStartAgainPlease

that sounds awful, i'm sorry you had to go through that. It doesn't sound as bad as it could have been, I imagine it could have felt like some sort of dystopian, sci-fi nightmare... although I'm sure it did feel like that in parts.

I would cancel
I’m not vaccinated not for want of trying, but I have severe allergies and it needs to be done in a hospital setting. 18 month wait for them to fit me in.
I’m 29 weeks and have been living like a hermit since I found out was pregnant. DH has refused to go back into the office and his work and bosses have been really good about it, well apart from one.
We make anyone we have to come in contact with take tests, but most of the time I refuse to see anyone who hasn’t isolated for 10 days and then I will only see them outside 2 meters apart. I might be going overboard, but I would rather that than catch it.
Im having a section on the 15th December and have already said we are coming into contact with anyone after mid November.

Can I just say, just because she doesn't want to have a vaccination that is still considered experimental and is still in phase 3 trials, doesn't make her 'antivaxx'.

Antivaxx means she would be against absolutely all vaccines. Is this the case? If not, then she should not be blanket labelled as 'antivaxx'.

I think it is a deeply deeply personal choice whether to take an experimental vaccine or not, especially when considering the effects it may/may not have on a baby, and I am very opposed to making women feel pressured or guilted into taking a medication that they don’t fully consent to.

I'd cancel. That close to a c section date I'd be having a very quiet Christmas with very minimal mixing - particularly with those that refuse to protect others and are unvaccinated.

Even without a csection date when you're that far through your pregnancy it often becomes hard work just getting up from a chair let alone entertaining!

I wouldn't do anything yet...she'll probably have had it by Christmas, if not, you can just say that you need to isolate 14 days beforehand.

I would cancel. I am due on 30th December and am therefore minimising any socialising throughout December. Both me and partner and double jabbed but don't want any risk of him not being able to attend or worse, an issue with the baby!

@jojojo82

Can I just say, just because she doesn't want to have a vaccination that is still considered experimental and is still in phase 3 trials, doesn't make her 'antivaxx'.

Antivaxx means she would be against absolutely all vaccines. Is this the case? If not, then she should not be blanket labelled as 'antivaxx'.

I think it is a deeply deeply personal choice whether to take an experimental vaccine or not, especially when considering the effects it may/may not have on a baby, and I am very opposed to making women feel pressured or guilted into taking a medication that they don’t fully consent to.

well she's anti this vax so sounds pretty accurate to me. 'Experimental vaccine', listen to yourself. Or, don't, because you're talking out your arse, particularly when it comes to pregnant woman. I'd say I hope you feel ashamed but of course you wont.

@jojojo82 i'm not going to be dragged into a debate about whether pregnant woman should or shouldn't get vaccinated. But in regards to any pressure put on her, she isn't pregnant (she doesn't want to pass on any damaging affects of the vaccine through her breastmilk), I am the one who is heavily pregnant and zero pressure is put on her by me. Despite her actively discouraging me from getting my vaccine.

We all need to do what we think is right, I personally think its sensible to be vaccinated but some women don't and that's their pregrogative. No pressure is being put on my sister to vaccinate, this thread is to help me risk assess what I should do in the run up to xmas with her being unvaccinated and it being 3 days before my c section, whilst taking similar risk assessments on a daily basis about school, shops etc.

@jojojo82

I support everyone's right to choose whether to have the vaccine or not. However, it is not true that the vaccines are "experimental".

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/mobile.reuters.com/article/amp/idUSL1N2M70MW

In addition pregnant women (and by extension their babies) are at a higher risk of suffering complications as a result of covid infection.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2021/aug/09/worrying-numbers-of-pregnant-women-in-intensive-care-with-covid

@LadyHalesBroach yes it was totally surreal. It was so unexpected as I'd had negative PCRs and didn't have any close contacts with it etc.

Re unvaccinated women... I do accept people can make their own choices but I have to admit I was privately pretty pissed off. My birth experience was hugely compromised, and I nearly had to give birth without my DH there. This was not because for my own health and well-being but because of the amount of high-risk unvaccinated women on the ward that had to be protected from me. So their personal choice not to get the vaccine hugely impacted my birth.

People might think it's unfair of me to think that way, but it's how I felt. Choices are not made in a vacuum.

choices are not made in a vacuum

couldn't agree more with this.

I would isolate in advance if any planned hospital stay.

And say to DSis that before any social events you are testing and asking others to test to cut down risk.

She should have empathy with this because she is concerned about risk to her own baby (oven if her conclusion is batshit).

Say that you also test before you meet others because of the vulnerability of her baby, for example.

Make it about testing and protecting yourself, don’t mention her vax status at all.

I'd cancel. I've seen too much devastation from COVID to take the risk. She's entitled to have her own views and to make her own decisions, but she's not entitled to put other, vulnerable people at risk.

Can I just say, just because she doesn't want to have a vaccination that is still considered experimental and is still in phase 3 trials, doesn't make her 'antivaxx'.

This is misinformation. None of the vaccines licensed in the UK are either considered experimental, or are still in phase 3 trials.

You are either confusing the difference between phase 3 trials and the post-trial study completion date, in which case I’m glad to set you straight.

Or you are knowingly peddling disinformation, in which case please don’t.