SIL wedding 2 weeks after due date - what to do?

[RT65]

Hi all,

I'm currently 6-7 weeks pregnant and have just found out my SIL is having her wedding reception (they're eloping, so this will be an evening thing only) 2 weeks after when I think I'm due. It'll be about 100-200 miles away from where we live so I'm already thinking we won't be able to make it. It's early days but we were thinking of telling people at about 10 weeks. They're spending about £10k on it, it's a big deal and she's my DHs only sibling (and I'm an only child). Am I overreacting in thinking we won't make it (assuming the pregnancy goes well)? Should we tell her sooner?

A close cousin of mine is also getting married about 200 miles from where we live 2 months after out potential due date... Am I likely to struggle to make that too??

Anyone had a similar situation?

If you've had the baby, could your family come and stay with you for a few days and DH go alone? Obv the bigger issue is you going overdue.

If it's just a party, if you tell them now would they have an option to move the date?

I would say it's a hard no for your SIL's wedding. I travelled 2 hours to go to wedding 4 weeks after the birth of my second child. Although the couple appreciated the effort, I don't remember any of the wedding as I was so tired and I missed all the speeches as I was bouncing the baby round/attempting to breastfeed in a corridor. I'd tell SIL asap so they have time to either change their plans or get over the disappointment xx

I think DH needs to tell SIL in strictest confidence your news (assuming she's not a blabbermouth) so she is aware now, whilst there's still time to do something about it, that you probably won't be able to attend, and depending on when the baby actually turns up, he might not be able to either.

If she sticks to her dates, and the baby is more or less on time, get someone lined up to come and help you so your DH can attend without worrying about you.

The one 2 months after is likely to be OK

@Travellingraspberry

I think I'd tell SIL asap to give them the opportunity to change the date. There's a possibility you might make it but more unlikely not I'd say!

Your cousin's wedding sounds much more doable. I went to my cousin's wedding a similar distance away 2 months after dc2 was born by c section.

I think I'd tell SIL asap to give them the opportunity to change the date.

Please tell me you're joking!??!?!

I was bridesmaid for my sister 2 weeks after having my 2nd. I did enjoy it but when I look back at the pictures now I do look tired!!! We stayed in the hotel where the wedding was so I could go back to the room anytime. I guess I was lucky that I felt ok. He slept the whole time and it was lovely for all the family to meet him. Personally I wouldn't have wanted to miss my sisters wedding. We also had to travel over 200 miles. Also had a 2 year old as a flower girl. I am definitely not an organised person and I was probably only at the reception for the meal and speeches. It was quite nice being in a hotel room with a baby. Get away from housework at home!!!

I cant get over how many people expect someone to move her wedding because her brothers wife is having a baby. WOW

@ThatsNiiice

I cant get over how many people expect someone to move her wedding because her brothers wife is having a baby. WOW

I read it more as giving the couple a chance to change the date if they wished.

I went to a wedding of ex’s friend when dd was 2/3 weeks old. Was 90 mins drive away.

2 things I’d do differently - if it was for a friend I’d say no, close family though would do it again but would travel the day before so to not put too much stress on the situation and could relax the evening before the wedding.

I did recover quite quickly though and was out and about shopping 48 hours after giving birth. But still had baby pouch and was still bleeding quite heavily.

Everyone is different though. X

I agree with pp about seeing how you feel - can the sil keep a spot open for you in case you can make it?

My mum went to my aunts wedding (150mile trip) when I was only a week old. I was her 4th baby and a month early! So it even if you sil changed the date, you never know for sure when baby will be here!

'I read it more as giving the couple a chance to change the date if they wished'

rearrange their wedding day because someone's wife has had a baby? How entitled!

I didn't go to a wedding 5 days after my baby but did make one 14 days after and I had a complicated birth

I just ended up leaving at 9am

Totally do able just accept you'll be knackered and may not last the whole event!

@ThatsNiiice

'I read it more as giving the couple a chance to change the date if they wished'

rearrange their wedding day because someone's wife has had a baby? How entitled!

Rearrange the date of their PARTY so the brides BROTHER can definitely attend. And not as a suggestion, just a they can if they choose

I think both are v unlikely. I would decline both in due time.

You won't be going, I'm afraid! You could even give birth on the day (induced when 14 days over)

Tbh it sounds like a bloody nightmare waiting to happen if u go. Especially if ure breastfeeding as itl be on demand.
Put ur baby first and stay back with the baby u also need to take care of urself, ul be recovering even if ur birth is straight forward it takes time for ur body to recover, ul need rest. The last thing ur body needs and ur baby is going to a wedding !
Ur SIL doesn't need to move her wedding date for you unless it'd completely ruin her day to the point of tears if u weren't there. If ur relationship is that close then I'd tell her. If not I'd let her get on with her plans and let her brother (ur DH) attend unless u still haven't had the baby then he'd have to stay back with u.