Induction for cholestasis - so frightened

[Camzarella]

It's just before 3.30am and I cannot sleep as yesterday I learned I'll need to be induced due to cholestasis with my first baby. I'm absolutely devestated that I won't get the water birth I had prepared for and extremely fearful of the induction process. My bile acid levels have fluctuated from 17 to 5 back up to 15 so I've been given the option for my baby to be induced this Friday (37 weeks) or next (38 weeks).

I'm so worried and anxious that I honestly feel verging on suicidal. Please please if anyone has a positive story to share or any words of encouragement I could really use your support.
TIA xx

Not me, but my sister was induced for the same reason. Baby was born within about 8 hours completely healthy and my sister recovered very quickly.

Op forget about the water birth, that’s not important here
What is it about induction you’re afraid of? You’re following a well trodden path that many women before you have taken. What’s important here is that you and your baby are safe throughout the process, everything else can be dealt with

@MyCatDribbles

Op forget about the water birth, that’s not important here What is it about induction you’re afraid of? You’re following a well trodden path that many women before you have taken. What’s important here is that you and your baby are safe throughout the process, everything else can be dealt with

My fear is due to hearing horror stories about how inductions are much more painful than natural labour. Also, I had mentally prepared for a natural birth so I guess hormones are making me feel down.

Thank you, that's super encouraging xx

All everyone wants is a safe delivery for you and your baby. That's far more important than water baths and whale music. Focus on the outcome, not the process. Sending hugs. You will be scared now, but it will all be worth it.

I had an induction though I originally wanted a water birth so I understand the disappointment and worry. I was induced at 38+4. I had such a positive experience, I wouldn't change a thing now.
I recommend you read Siobhan Miller's book (if you haven't already). I think you need to see that you can make any birth plan a positive one. Once I read it, I felt like I could do anything!
Anyway, I gave birth less than 24 hours after start of induction with no pain relief and no other intervention. I know not all women share my experience but i just wanted to highlight it is possible x

Op. Please try not to panic. I totally understand your fears.
Thing is, you feel you have missed out on a natural birth but the reality is that there are so so many reasons you could have always ended up needing an induction. The baby does a pop, turns the wrong way, looks a bit big; a bit small, your amniotic fluid levels look low, labour takes too long etc etc etc,
When you find out you are having an induction you grieve not having a natural birth. But reality is you might never have had one anyway. Induction is so common.

I’m going to PM you

I was induced at 37 weeks with both of mine due to OC. Like you, I was nervous and sad that it wasn't the birth I had planned. The induction both times was fine and things started progressing 'naturally' with just the pessary to get things going.

Has your consultant talked you through any alternative paths that might be available. Sometimes the NHS procedures may suggest various interventions but it might be possible to put some monitoring in place to delay these in a safe manner in the hope that labour can start naturally. Might be worth a conversation if you haven't already had it. Also worth talking through the induction process itself and how they intend to induce you, and how many times you can try the pessary before you are out on a drip. If it seems inevitable you can discuss pain relief too before making any decisions. For instance what will be available in the delivery suite and whether you can have an anesthetist on hand straight away for an epidural etc.

In our hospital they have an ensuite with a bath in the delivery room and wireless monitoring so you could still get in the bath and use the water for pain relief.

I'll be honest, I asked for the epidural very quickly but for my second birth I was able to avoid an induction and had monitoring instead, followed by a sweep, which did the trick.

You are being looked after, remember that. It may not feel like it but millions of mothers in your situation would tell you to watch the horizon during the storm, as when it clears, wow, truly, simply epic. Worth the fear every time my fellow adventurer.

I had an induction- it wasn’t easy, and needed forceps, drips and all sorts.
Not my plan. Not fun. But, safe delivery of baby, and after that it just didn’t matter. It’s hard when you have an ideal, but you will be fine. They are taking good care of you.

Take some time to look after your mental health- the birth and new born days are tough for everyone, so try to give yourself a boost. These last few days are precious.

I had an induction for the same reason. It was really quick and I was allowed to used the pool as long as I wore a waterproof monitor. It was a lovely experience. Labour started about 12 hrs after I was induced with a pessary and DD was born soon after.

I was also induced with my second ( for different reasons). They broke my waters rather than use a pessary and that labour was so much quicker. Labour started straight away and I went from 1 cm to fully dilated in 4 hrs. I didn't use the pool because it was so quick but I was given the option to if I wanted to.

Good luck with your induction people only talk about the horror stories and not the straight forward easy ones.

I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. If you are verging on suicidal, do you feel comfortable talking to your midwife about that so the mental health team can be involved? Is there anyone else in real life you can speak to?

I didn’t have an induction but I did need to be on labour ward rather than birth centre in the end due to baby’s position. I was disappointed too but quickly forgot about it once I was there giving birth. It was clear everyone just wanted the best for baby and me and fairy lights and candles and water birth thoughts just completely left my mind as I concentrated on my baby.

It's normal to feel anxious at the end of your pregnancy when birth is looming, but you seem to be finding it hard to manage it. Talk to your GP or midwife about this - they will want to help with your anxiety.

For what it's worth, I had an induction and it was fine. Quick, no forceps etc needed, only painkiller was gas and air. I also planned a water birth, but nature had other plans (I had pre-eclampsia so baby had to be evicted early).

I have had one induced birth (prolonged rupture of the membranes) and one natural birth. I have to say that for me at least, the idea that an induced birth is more painful was a myth. I fully expected my non induced birth to somehow be less painful but it wasn’t. I expected it to be quicker, but it wasn’t.

My induction did end in one of the horror story situations you are worried about but I’m convinced that’s because I wasn’t mentally on board with the idea of induction. I too was obsessing about the pool, and all sorts of other natural birth images.

I did have an epidural, but I waited quite a long time (8 hours) after having the drip put up to have it. And I think that was a mistake. I was exhausted and had spent 8 hours fighting the contractions. Epidural was bliss, and there were a couple of really happy hours after, with laughter. We got from 3cm to fully dilated within that time and started pushing at about 6pm. Ultimately for me by that point my baby had become distressed and was pulled out with forceps.

So I guess if I had to be induced again I would try really hard to be part of that decision (induction was ‘done to me’ and I wasn’t mentally on board with it), and I would have a completely open mind about epidural and have it quite early on if I felt I needed it. I don’t know for sure but I have a feeling that if I had done either or both of those things then my mind/body wouldn’t have been fighting the drip and things would have been smoother.

Positioning was probably an issue also (back to back baby), so spending time on all fours would have helped.

I do know several women who have had very positive induction experiences.

I was induced with the pessary and then after 24 hrs my waters were broken. Once the waters were broken, Labour kicked in very nicely and DD was in my arms 5 hrs later. I didn't have a water birth but did have a natural Labour and just used a bit of gas n air towards the end.

There are loads of horror stories bout inductions, like there are loads of horror stories about pregnancy and birth in general. It is absolutely possible to have a good induction experience so please try to not worry too much about it, s hard as I know that is to do.

Oh, my lovely, I have been in your exact shoes.
Insanely itchy, midwife phoned as soon as my blood test result was in, to say I needed to be induced that day.

I ended up with the pessary, and then the drip. It was a long labour, but having an epidural meant I was able to get some sleep. No, it wasn't what I'd hoped for, but DD was born naturally and I had no birth injuries.

With DS, my waters went at 26 weeks, so he was also induced, once the risk of infection was too high. Had to go straight onto the drip, as soon as I had an epidural, I dilated 1-10cm in an hour! Much faster labour, but again, born without extra assistance and no injuries to myself.

It's a change of plan, but you've got a little time to get your head around it. If something went amiss during a normal water birth, you'd have to just deal with what was happening at the time.

Ultimately, your baby is unlikely to be aware of the difference between a water birth and an induced birth, so is there anything you can do to make your surroundings more relaxing, during your induction? Once I was in the labour room, I had a scented (electric) oil diffuser and candle, and a set of mini Bluetooth speakers, playing relaxing music. I also had my own pillow.

I also second what a PP has said, about contacting your midwife to discuss how low you are feeling.

Good luck.

People get given the myth of being able to plan a birth, but i don't think many first births do go to plan, and so your experience is far more typical. I wish organisations like NCT wouldn't put so much emphasis on being able to choose low intervention waterbirths etc.

The nearest you can get to a birth following a plan is a planned section, and even then, unexpected issues can arise.

Vaginal birth is always a bit pot luck, and you get what you need at the time. People miss out on waterbirths because of inductions, needing monitoring, lack of availability, labour not going to plan and then needing to get out (it often doesn't go to plan, interventions are needed etc), because people want pain relief incompatible with it, labour progresses too fast or because people don't in reality like being in the water. So there are about a hundred other reasons why it might not have happened.

You can bring things in to make it as relaxing as possible. The exciting thing is that your get to meet your baby really soon, so I'd concentrate on that side of it, and be don't be stays to discuss how you are feeling with your midwife.

Best of luck x

I had a very shit induction I won't lie.

3 months later I couldn't care less, at the time I felt cheated but I reached a point I didn't care how my baby came as long as he was delivered safely.

I think the important thing to remember is that those horror stories you've read aren't your own story. Your labour is going to be your own.

Truthfully, my own induction was fine. I was being induced at 37 weeks due to pre-eclampsia. The start of it was drawn out, but once I was on the drip, things progressed much more quickly. 11 and a half hours of drip later and I was holding my wonderful baby girl. Zero interventions. More pain relief than I was hoping for, but since I'd never laboured before I had no frame of reference. I might have needed it anyway.

Thank you wonderful ladies for all of your words of encouragement and for sharing your stories. It's really helpful and making it easier for me to accept the reality. Bless you all xx

I was induced at 37 for different reasons with dd1 but was medically needed, like you was hoping for water birth and was emotional before going in (I didn't want to stay in over Xmas so had extra monitoring daily and then went back in on 27th December, was very tearful boxing day night. They gave the pessary 3 attempts, 2 on the 27th one on the morning of 28th. The 2nd gave some mild contractions but other than that no real response so they offered to skip the 4th attempt and go straight to breaking my waters which I accepted. That was at 5.45pm, was told I'd be moved to delivery for oxytocin drip at 9.45, all that went out the window as I was 9.5cm by 9.40pm and she was here by 10. It's not always a long drawn out process, but if it is, try and take comfort that it won't be long until little one is safe in your arms and you're in the best place possible to be looked after. Please talk to your midwife about how you're feeling, I think it's common when induction is medically required moreso than because you're past due date as you have the extra worry of the medical issues and they'll be best placed to help you xx

I was just induced too but just had my waters popped and he was born 8 hours later.
I cried and cried because I had no idea but honestly it was fine. I had gas and air and a small graze but was fine otherwise. Good luck, sending you love and light. It’s hard to accept and you aren’t mentally in the right frame of mind but take some time to get yourself as calm as possible. Take a bath, a walk and deep breathes.

Try not to worry too much. I too ‘planned’ a water birth, and ended up being induced. I had my first pessary at 4pm, waters broke on their own at 10.30pm and my daughter arrived the following morning around 11. I had an epidural because, like you, I’d heard an induction was more painful, and I don’t have the high pain threshold I thought I did. But it was a nice calm labour, and I would happily do it again.

But honestly, if I was given the choice, I’d much rather have a organised induction (filling the fridge beforehand, changing bedlinen etc) than having my waters break in a supermarket or something and then be sent back and forth from hospital until I’m dilated enough to stay in!

I was induced with my first due to reduced movements. She was out with 7 hours of labour starting, I had just the pessary and no drip or epidural. It's not a given that you will need those things.
Also have you asked about having a water birth anyway? I was told that if you're induced and don't have the drip a water birth might still be possible if they have the underwater monitoring equipment.