Is it ok just to breastfeed a bit just at the beginning?

[Cafeaulait27]

Hi everyone, I’m due in a couple of weeks and worrying a bit about breastfeeding. I have small boobs (b cup and even In pregnancy they’ve only got a little fuller) and the idea of having the baby feeding off just me exclusively for months/years just doesn’t feel right for me. I think I really just want to feel like myself a bit more again and some of my friends who have exclusively breastfed have found it so tiring and like they literally don’t do anything else as it’s all on them. I’ve found it really off putting…

I have suffered with depression in the past and I just feel like getting more breaks and hopefully a little sleep could help me stave off getting post partum depression maybe.

My partner and I feel like it would be great to make sure the baby gets the colostrum and early milk but to combine this with formula, and then maybe go to just formula after a few weeks so we can share the feeding equally and I can have a break. Also I am self employed and at about 6 weeks I will need to leave the baby with my MIL for a full day I few times while I do a job so they kind of need to like a bottle and formula.

Is this ok? I feel ashamed and like a bad mum for feeling like this is the best decision for us. And it’s my first so of course I have no idea if this plan will work x

Yes of course that's okay! Any amount of breastmilk baby gets is beneficial. The more so at the beginning, so it sounds like you've got a good plan. Please don't feel like a bad mum at all- you're clearly being the opposite! You are making sure your baby gets the most important benefits in a way that works within the circumstances you're in.

If that's the best choice for you and your family, then that's great. Have a look at "combined feeding" which is what it's usually called when you do a mix of both.

Just for clarity for anyone else who may read this though, breast size doesn't make any difference to milk supply or ability to breastfeed. If you wanted to do it, being a B cup wouldn't make any difference. However, if you don't want to, that's fine too.

Good god, of course it is OK!

It's your body, and you do what works for you. It sounds like a good idea to give the baby the benefit of the colostrum, and early breastfeeding, if you can. I'd delay the introduction of formula until you were ready to switch over to it, rather than right at the very, very beginning, but that sounds very sensible.

There is - as the literature and posters now all around you say - a lot of benefits to the baby of breastfeeding I found there were also a lot of benefits to me to breastfeed, too - it was free, and I didn't have to buy anything or sterilise bottles, etc. But what worked for me may not work for you, and breastfeeding doesn't suit everyone, and there are plenty of very happy, contended, healthy babies out there on formula.

the idea of having the baby feeding off just me exclusively for months/years just doesn’t feel right for me

That’s the only sentence you need to worry about really.

You can do what you want with your boobs. Don’t give it another thought. Combi feeding is an option too for the days you want to leave with MIL you can still go back. Or just switch, it’s really just up to you and what you want to do

Yes. It’s absolutely ok.

It's ok to do whatever you want!

I'd keep an open mind as I found breast feeding easy, loved having a meal on me at all times without having to take any other stuff with me, no sterilising and (with my first) lots of sitting and watching TV or reading with her attached to my boob without feeling guilty! I had a supportive DH who helped out with other stuff so I never felt it a problem.

Of course it's ok. Your body,your baby, your breasts, your choice! Literally any other opinion doesn't matter.
My only advice is listen to yourself when baby is here and go with the flow. You may change your mind,you may love breastfeeding or you may not. You sound like you have given it a lot of thought and it's totally ok to feel that breastfeeding may not be for you. I felt the same before birth but was hit with the unexpected urge to breastfeed and was very upset when it didn't work out. Some external people piled on the guilt. Went through the emotions of guilt and trying to justify myself to others but now realise my baby was perfectly healthy, loved and was thriving. How he was fed made no difference and it angers me that I let the opinions of others colour what was the best decision for our family.

It’s fine to do what you want. But don’t worry about boob size. I’m only an A cup and found breastfeeding very easy - and much less work and effort than formula feeding would have been. Maybe see how you get on when the baby is here.

Happy mummy is a happy baby.
Do not give into the pressures. Go with the flow and what suits you the best.
Try a bit of everything, breast for 24 hours, mixed for 24 hours etc.

Once someone said to me on here that bottle feeding your baby is the equivalent to feeding them chicken nuggets for breakfast lunch and tea 🤣

You do you and don't listen to anyone but your head x

I can't answer all of your questions but a few points relating to your post (I breastfeed, in case that makes any difference):

• Everyone has the right to feed how they like for whatever reason they like. You don't need to justify formula feeding or feel guilty about it if that's what works for you.
• Officially I think breastfeeding mothers are supposed to have lower rates of PND so that may be an important point for you. But personally I went through a very tough time breastfeeding at the start and mentally found that very hard (However, the tough bit only lasted a few weeks and now I love it). Either way, the number one thing you can do for your baby is to look after yourself and your own mental health. Don't let guilt cloud your judgement here.
• Breast size has nothing to do with ability to breastfeed.
• Apparently it is a myth that formula feed babies sleep more. However if you are bottle feeding then obviously night feeds can be shared at least!
• Any colostrum/ breastmilk is better than none. Everything you can provide will benefit your baby even if it's just a bit.
• I'm not sure the practicalities of how you stop after a few weeks but maybe somebody else here can help with that.

Very best of luck op.

Yep absolutely! Do what's right for you - happy mum, happy baby is definitely true. If there's one thing I wish I had done differently with my first would be to not sweat the breastfeeding so much. It was really awful for us and I persisted to my detriment. Other people find it easier. Congratulations and just do whatever you need to do to feel most comfortable. Best of luck, you'll be great!

It's absolutely fine. I breastfed my first and formula fed my second and I have the direct comparison. The second is only 4 months.

Choice is best and if that's the choice you and your family make, that's the right choice.

I would however speak to your midwife on how to stop after a few days of breastfeeding as I can imagine the milk will come in full steam ahead and suddenly stopping can cause mastitis.

Thank you so much guys these are such supportive and lovely messages 😭😭😭❤️

I’ve been getting myself in a tiz about it worrying it means I’m not ‘maternal’ or something. I think it’s partly fear of the unknown, I have no idea how ill feel when the baby is here.

I do see the appeal of how easy (and free) it is to BF if you can do it versus making up bottles all the time, so who knows maybe I’ll prefer it, but I have a fear that then baby will only want me and when I have to leave him it will be traumatic, and what if he won’t take a bottle because he only wants me but I can’t be there etc etc…

I thought getting pregnant was hard, then the pregnancy itself, and now I’m worrying about baby being here 😂 I guess that’s parenthood!

Thank you all again xx

Or course! Look into combination feeding if you want some reassurance.
Early milk is very beneficial but it's not the be all and end all.

With my first baby I stopped breast feeding around three months as i found it too hard, and I was wracked with guilt over it, comparing myself to other mums who managed better than me.

With my second I stopped much earlier and I had zero regrets. Breast feeding is not the be all and end all. Do what feels right for you and only you. Your baby will be fine regardless. Your mental and physical health is paramount and formula is wonderful stuff.

Honestly do what ever you feel is best for you and baby and don't feel guilty about it. As others have said some breast milk is better than none and there's absolutely nothing wrong with formula.

I breastfed for a year with my first as he point blank refused a bottle so I had moments where I hated breastfeeding and felt trapped. Second baby I am planning on giving a bottle from day one alongside breastfeeding whether that be formula or expressed milk for my own sanity.

Bless you. It is not ‘okay’, it is absolutely good, fine and great for you to know what you want and to make that choice. It’s not a ‘lesser’ choice.

We did combination feeding with both my two, so my experience is:

• breastfeeding as much as possible the first day, with small top up
• we continued always offering both breasts first, with a top up at the end,
• DH often did the top up

On the days I was on my knees shattered, dh did a whole bottle and bedtime routine with the baby while I showered (and wept, ahaha) and went to bed early. We continued successfully offering breast milk until about 5 months old.

With formula top ups all the way

Whatever you do is fine.

I felt pretty much the same as you before my first baby arrived. I wanted to try but if I'm totally honest, the idea made me really uncomfortable. I fed my first for a week and second baby for 2 weeks and then moved to bottles.

They are now big strong, healthy boys now

Please don't worry about it meaning anything at all in regards to your bond with the baby or being a good/bad mum. My two are the centre of my world and we have a fantastic relationship and they tell me I'm a pretty great mum fairly often, I just didn't like having them hanging off my boobs and needed headspace for me.

Try to stop worrying about it and just enjoy it when your baby arrives and repeat 'yes I am aware of the benefits but it's my baby and my body and my choice'. But keep an open mind as you never know, you might enjoy it but if you don't, be aware that is absolutely fine.

You sound like you'll be a fantastic mum just by virtue of the fact that you are aware enough to think about this ahead of time.

@Cafeaulait27
Anything you choose is ok

I combi fed my first
Exclusively fed my second

There is no right and wrong answer to this do what you feel best - any amount of breast milk is amazing but if it's
Not for you, don't bear yourself up over it

Hope your happy arrival comes soon x

Yes that's fine! Great idea

Your body, your choice!

We are so fortunate to have the option for formula. Fed is best, so don’t give yourself a hard time and go with the flow.

On a practical side, here are some pointers:

-Establishing latch can be difficult for the first few weeks. So see how you go.
-combi feeding is great, and when you switch, this will help manage milk supply as you transition
-introduce a bottle when you’re ready, maybe around 4-6 weeks would work for you
-you can express rather than bf. Get a cheap hand held pump to start and see how it goes if bf isn’t working but you still want to give bmilk
-listen to your body, not other people. You’ll know what’s right for you
-get formula, steriliser and bottles ready in advance. It’s likely to be some ungodly hour you end up giving formula! So have everything on hand.

Congrats and good luck!

Whatever you choose is fine but some things to keep in mind:

1. At the very start babies can get confused between breast and bottle as it is a very different feeding method so for the first week or so it's best to just breastfeed so they get all the good colostrum.
2. Your friends may have felt that it was hard doing the nightfeeds but actually when you breastfeed your body releases different chemicals that mean you sleep more deeply so you get quality sleep over quantity (sleep deprivation is still hard though).
3. You may feel stuck and that your baby is feeding off you all the time but this is important too, by breastfeeding the mother is forced to slow down and rest, it's important to take this time to recover from the birth yourself. When you bottle feed its easier to pass the bottle to someone else whilst you do other chores and you lose that rest period.

Good luck with whatever you chose and remember any decisions you make now do not have to be set in stone you are allowed to change your mind to suit both your baby's needs and your own.

Sounds like plan OP. I think you’re right that combo feeding from very early and possibly switching to formula after a month or so is a good idea of you are going to be leaving baby all day from 6weeks. A bottle is going to be essential and if you were going to pump that milk it would need to be pretty frequent at that age. (Although that is also an option for mums who go back to work at that kind of age). Don’t feel guilty, do what fits you and your family best.

There is some great advice on this thread.

To add, if you have a strong milk supply you may wish to pump and freeze milk, so that baby can be bottle fed that. It's worth investing in a Medela electric pump to do that (you can hire them too, ask your midwife). That will help to avoid mastitis if you want to stop early, and also if you feel you want to carry on feeding longer, it will enable you to 'dip' back in as you wish

Also, if you FF, invest in a Perfect Prep machine, they're like baby coffee machines and will make your bottles within seconds. Great for night feeds.

I combi-fed DC1 for 13 months until he self weaned and DC2 was mainly breast fed for 9 months, til she decided it was more interesting to watch the world go by drinking a bottle 😂

Final tip - please don't stress and plan. It really may not go to plan. Make the choice that works for your family at the time. Good luck!!