Is it ok just to breastfeed a bit just at the beginning?

[Cafeaulait27]

Hi everyone, I’m due in a couple of weeks and worrying a bit about breastfeeding. I have small boobs (b cup and even In pregnancy they’ve only got a little fuller) and the idea of having the baby feeding off just me exclusively for months/years just doesn’t feel right for me. I think I really just want to feel like myself a bit more again and some of my friends who have exclusively breastfed have found it so tiring and like they literally don’t do anything else as it’s all on them. I’ve found it really off putting…

I have suffered with depression in the past and I just feel like getting more breaks and hopefully a little sleep could help me stave off getting post partum depression maybe.

My partner and I feel like it would be great to make sure the baby gets the colostrum and early milk but to combine this with formula, and then maybe go to just formula after a few weeks so we can share the feeding equally and I can have a break. Also I am self employed and at about 6 weeks I will need to leave the baby with my MIL for a full day I few times while I do a job so they kind of need to like a bottle and formula.

Is this ok? I feel ashamed and like a bad mum for feeling like this is the best decision for us. And it’s my first so of course I have no idea if this plan will work x

breast size doesn't make any difference to milk supply or ability to breastfeed

Just wanted to reiterate this. Otherwise, sounds a good plan. We combi fed DD. This time round I’m expecting twins and will absolutely be combi-feeding them.

I did that OP and I’d do it again. I combi fed for the first five weeks before moving onto formula and it was absolutely the right choice for me.

I enjoyed the feeds we had but I personally found it hard constantly getting my breasts out, I had a really undignified time during the birth and breastfeeding added to that feeling for me personally. I would support anyone who wants to breastfeed though so please don’t think that’s me being negative, it was just how it made me feel at the time. I was glad to stop but glad he’d had some breastmilk.

@HungryHippo11

If that's the best choice for you and your family, then that's great. Have a look at "combined feeding" which is what it's usually called when you do a mix of both.

Just for clarity for anyone else who may read this though, breast size doesn't make any difference to milk supply or ability to breastfeed. If you wanted to do it, being a B cup wouldn't make any difference. However, if you don't want to, that's fine too.

Thank you for clarifying. I am a B cup (although think this has gone up since pregnancy) and the op did worry me a bit when I read that, as I plan and hope to be able to breastfeed!

@Cafeaulait27 it’s absolutely ok to do whatever feels right for you. Don’t ever feel like a bad mother!

I had my baby 3 weeks ago and had already decided I only wanted to breastfeed as long as I needed to in order for baby to get the colostrum.

I did just that, I breastfed exclusively for the first 3 days. On day 4 my milk came in and I switched to formula. Not only did it mean my partner could get involved with feeding, but I actually found it far more reassuring to actually physically be able to see just how much milk baby was getting.

I honestly didn’t fully enjoy the first 3 days of just non stop feeding. I did have a little bit of guilt when my milk was in and baby could obviously smell it and want to feed from me, but he took to the bottle fine and is thriving now.

I think for my partner it also made him feel super involved and he absolutely loves his feed times with baby.

I had no pressure from midwives or health visitors to keep breastfeeding which helped.

Just do whatever feels right for you, nobody else.

That's what I did with my second dc...breast fed a bit for the first 3-4 weeks...it meant I never really established much of a supply but she at least had some. I couldn't bf with a baby and a boisterous toddler! It's fine

As pp have said, breast size doesn't matter - that's really about how much fat you have around the milk ducts, just about everyone has the same equipment underneath!

I think it's really hard to know how you'll feel about feeling when the baby arrives. It can be protective against PND. It can also be a nightmare. See how you get on and don't take any shit from anyone.

Combo feeding is fine and you could go on as long as you like with one or two breastfeeds a day and the rest formula. Personally I found breastfeeding gave me a nice woozy hormone rush, a bit like a G&T after a long day! Boobs are very adaptable once feeding is established, I knew a nurse who would barely bf at all for 3-4 days due to shift patterns, then get right back to it with no supply issues.

Good luck!

I would have a back up plan for leaving the baby at six weeks though - someone who could substitute for you if necessary, or could mil and baby be nearby?

There are no rules! You can breastfeed for 2 years or 2 minutes. Whatever works for you. You could also mix feed if you like the idea of feeding but not exclusively. So after your milk has come in you could reduce it to 2 or 3 feeds a day or whatever you like. Best to ask a lactation specialist how to do this the best way to prevent mastitis.

Another one here saying that it’s perfectly ok to feed your baby how you want. The baby may have other ideas, but as long as you work something out between you, you’ll both be fine.

I was all about bf when I was pg. turns out my boobs and ds weren’t and I had wonderful support from the hospital, nct and La Leche League. DS was ff from a week old, as an alternative to scbu as he’d lost so much weight, and we thrived. He’s 13 now.

DD was bf for 3 weeks, but with a “busy” 3 year old, recovering from a crash section, proper flu and a recently-redundant dh, we decided to ff her too.

A nct leader said to me “there are many ways to nurture a child, how you feed them as an infant is just one”. Made me feel empowered not to bf.

I think more people (are least open about) mix feed with both breastmilk and forumla, especially after a few weeks, than when my oldest was born so you'll be in good company and there will people who can give their experience and tips on how to handle that in a way that works for you and your baby.

Just a reply to your comment * 'but I have a fear that then baby will only want me and when I have to leave him it will be traumatic, and what if he won’t take a bottle because he only wants me but I can’t be there etc etc'* - I ebf but baby would happily take a bottle from my husband, mum, others... not from me though lol, he would look at me like what are you playing at

Also, I have A cup boobs and have found breastfeeding easier than my larger chested friends ... I actually think small boobs helps here, not sure if that's scientifically proven! Personally found bf easier than making up bottles, cooling boiled water, sterilizing etc - BUT absolutely your choice, neither way is 'easy' so do what feels right for you once baby is here ... And enjoy your newborn, they grow up far too fast xxx

Absolutely OP, you feed your baby however you want and what works best for you.
I fully intended to EBF but it just didn’t work out for me (tongue tie, poor latch, I found it very stressful). My baby got colostrum for the first week or so before fully switching to formula. I have zero regrets. She is now 4 months and thriving and it also does wonders for someone to look after her for a good while so I can have some me time. Honestly now I couldn’t imagine having her constantly feeding off me and bottles just work well for us.

A fed baby is a happy baby, no matter how it’s done.

Of course it’s OK. Do what is best for you and your baby. That could be exclusively breastfeeding, combi feeding, or formula from the start.

It's most definitely okay and if you decide when baby is here you don't want to bf at all then that's great too.

Of course it is OK! The fact you are thinking about it and worrying about it shows that you'll be a great Mum!

Just to add my experience into the mix..

I'm day 5 post EMCS. I've had issues with baby latching from the first moment, with no clear cause of why. Has lead to me using such a wide array of combinations to feeding my son. Was FF for first day, then mixture of FF & breast feeding colostrum, then just expressing & giving pumped breast milk, then just BF with nipple shields and now today have had to just pump & give in bottles again as latching issues are back.

I cried & cried those first 2 days as felt like such a failure about not being able to BF and like I was short changing my son somehow. However despite the chaos of it all, my son is thriving and has lost very little weight post birth which shows he has still gotten more than enough despite how turbulent its been.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is you need to do what works for you and your baby, and ultimately as long as your baby is fed well the mode of feeding doesn't matter!

Good luck xx

P.s. just from my experience pumping and then feeding from bottle once milk came I has been a great way to know I've provided him a good start with colostrum/my milk yet still allowed flexibility with partner being able to help :)

Yes absolutely ok …good for you that you want to give it a go ..good luck with the birth💐

See as long as you feed the baby….be it on the booby, by expressing, doidy cup, syringe, ng tube or bottle……it’s all good.

No need to feel ashamed or like a bad mum, you sound like a fantastic mum ♥️
It’s ok to feed your baby either breast milk, formula milk or any combination of the two.
Whatever works for you and your baby is best 😊

That's absolutely fine if that's what you want to do. You have to do what's best for your baby and what's best for your mental health! As pp's have said definitely look at combi feeding as it's most definitely possible to do both.

All I would say is see how you feel when baby is here, because your feelings may change. I say this as someone who went from "I don't want to breastfeed" to "I'll try to get to the 6 month mark with breastfeeding and see how I feel" to being over a year into EBF'ing and having no plans in stopping as feeds have reduced and it works for us. Your feelings may change. Just take things as they come.

Good luck!

You do you. I add A cups that stayed that way all through pregnancy (until my milk came in of course) and found breast feeding way easier than some of my larger chested friends. The oxytocin rush from breast feeding is addictive though!

This might be the book for you, OP
https://books.google.co.uk/books/about/MixedUp.html?id=eOtmzgEACAAJ&source=kpp_bookdescription&redirr_esc=y

Breastfeeding doesn't have to be all or nothing. As with all things parenting though, play it by ear. It's nice to have an idea about how you'd like to raise your baby, but you may have different ideas once your baby is born.

Don't be afraid to access breastfeeding support groups and services also - they are there to answer your questions and help you to reach your goals.

Absolutely understandable, mine is mixed formula/expression due to cleft palate and he is thriving. Ignore the breast is best brigade. FED is best.

There are no rules you can breastfeed baby colostrum and then switch to formula, and you could even continue breastfeeding a bit whilst giving formula. Or just go straight into formula.

It's entirely up to you, and as long as your baby is putting on weight as they should, there should be no issue. Do what works for you and your family.

Thank you so much everyone - wasn’t actually expecting such supportive posts! 🙂

I will definitely play it by ear, and we’re just going to try and go with the flow. As every baby is different, we know we can’t plan too much, but I was struggling with my feelings around what my ideal situation would be around breastfeeding. I even felt worried to tell my husband I was feeling this way! He was very supportive and feels the same way which is great x

So much about pregnancy and birth is out of our control it's very natural to want to plan what happens next to regain some of that control you've been missing for the last 9 months.